Lesson in Living
by Starath
Summary: Five Decepticons find themselves human in another reality from their own. With the help of Casey, they find out why they've been brought here... and it's their only ticket home. Work in Progress, probably 20 chapters or more. R&R, please!
1. Chapter 1

Lesson in Living

Chapter 1

By Starath

_Author's Note:__ This story started out as a simple opening scene that kept running around in my mind, then exploded into a full-blown series that just HAD to be written down. I didn't always know how things were going to happen, and I still don't, lol. Legally stuff: Transformers doesn't belong to me, nor do the characters, but I bought a new CD player today so THERE. I own that. Extra special thanks to The Crab for helping me out on this story! _

It started out like any other Friday afternoon stuck at school, but Casey made the most of it. She had planted herself in front of a computer two hours ago and happily passed time playing on the Internet with music blasting through her ears. She whizzed through favorite websites, laughed at a few comics, and settled in to watch several episodes of the original _Transformers_ on YouTube. After an hour of this she was giddy with Transformers swimming around in her head. This would certainly make it interesting to think straight during class at one o'clock. Luckily it was screenwriting class, so maybe having her imagination fired up by the old cartoon wasn't such a bad thing.

Since she was so buried in _Transformers _nostalgia, she didn't hear the commotion at the front of the computer lab by the help desk. It went on for quite awhile until a voice carried all the way back of the big room, demanding and aggressive.

"I demand to know where I am and what nonsense brought me here!"

Casey heard him clear through her headphones. At first she dismissed the outcry. People were always grouchy near lunchtime.

"Do not tell ME to calm down! I want to know how I got here in this _slag heap!_"

She choked, suddenly frozen. She stared at the cartoon on her computer screen and paused it, listening hard. No other shouts followed and she let out a pent-up breath. Too many episodes in a row. That made a girl hear things that couldn't be real. She had just started to settle down when another yell disturbed the air. Startled into action, she ripped the headphones from her ears and stood up to see over the rows of computers. She could see him standing up front arguing with the security guard, wearing a gunmetal grey jacket….

_No way._

Packing everything up at the speed of light she took off to the front of the room.

Casey approached the scene warily, staying far enough away to not be immediately noticed but close enough to study him. The irate man at the front desk wasn't young but not extremely old either. A balding security guard tried to reason with him.

"Sir, we'll help you if you if you would just tell us—"

"I already have, fool!" Short silver-spiked hair glittered under the lights as he tore at it in frustration. Red-brown eyes widened in disbelief. "Primus! I have HAIR too! If this is some joke of Prime's or Starscream's I'll—" he jumped smoothly back as the security guard approached him. "Don't you touch me, human!"

Heavy black boots thudded on the floor when he landed. The camouflage-patterned shirt under his jacket ruffled itself, catching his attention. He just about started into another tirade, but seemed too horrified for a moment to say anything.

Casey took a breath to calm herself. So _was_ it him? If it was, boy, he'd been human for, what, ten minutes and already had the entire school thinking he was nuts. What a great start. But if it WAS him, he'd want to know what was going on, immediately if not sooner.

Well, one would expect that from the great Decepticon leader Megatron.

But if she didn't intervene soon he might do something to get arrested or worse. Several annoyed students hurried by, staring at the silver-haired weirdo who was apparently having some sort of identity crisis. Casey adjusted her coat over her arm and noticed her hands were shaking. What she knew she had to do— just to make sure— had her shaking all the way to her shoes, actually. Besides, she might be the only Transfan around anyway, and then who would help him if she didn't?

The security guard spoke soothing words again, but he recovered from shock and began a fit of flailing when something interrupted him.

"_Look out! The Autobots are here!!_"

He passed her test with flying colors. Megatron spun around in a fluid move with his right arm automatically raised.

"WHERE??" He bellowed.

Casey wasn't sure if she should be happy or not. No one else stood nearby, so she waited for Megatron's eyes to rest on her.

"Did _you_ say that?" He demanded, brushing off the security guard when he stormed up to her.

"Sir—" said the guard, trying to do his job, but Casey cut him off.

"It's okay, he's with me." Her voice trembled and she could barely move without falling over. She smiled nervously. "He's forgotten his medicine today."

She looked Megatron in the eyes, pleading silently that he would follow along. The security guard remained tense.

"Ma'am, I don't know if you should—"

She had already boldly touched Megatron's shoulder. He snapped it back, eyes sparkling dangerously.

"Hand OFF, human. I asked you a question, now answer me!"

Somewhere she found some courage in her left pocket and replied with just as much hostility, bluffing him with her best glare. "Alright tough guy, do you want help from a fellow Decepticon or not?"

Megatron went quiet again, subdued by surprise. Before he could say another word she grabbed his coat sleeve and pulled him away from the front desk.

"He believes he's a conqueror in his own little world, sorry to bother you!"

Casey managed to get him up one flight of stairs and onto the second floor before he blinked as if coming awake and yanked his arm from her hand.

"Who are you?" He demanded harshly, "and how dare you say something like that to ME! Are you responsible for this? Who is your commander? State your name and rank, femme!"

Luckily Casey practiced this sort of thing as a child just in case this would happen. Who knew it would come in handy? She rattled everything off, adjusting for context.

"Name's Starflight, rank: Six. Function: Undercover special operations. I have no commander. I've been here on my own for years." She held up her hand when he opened his mouth. "Don't start now, you've already made a fool of yourself in public and just about blew the secret presence of Transformers on this planet. Shame on you. We'll have to go somewhere safe to talk now. Come on."

She turned and pushed through a pair of double doors, praying he would follow her. She kept her head up and posture straight like she imagined a Decepticon might march. Eventually she heard heavy footfall stomping along behind her and sighed with relief.

They traveled in silence for a few minutes, across the skyway and down two flights of stairs. After awhile she heard a growl, and his footsteps stopped.

"Just where are you taking me?"

"The funny farm," she muttered, grinning.

"What was that?"

Casey turned to him, putting on the most annoyed face she could manage. "The lunchroom, if you MUST know. I need to eat."

Megatron pulled a disgusted expression, hands buried in his pockets. "You actually EAT like a human?"

She huffed. "I can't have any energon here because there isn't any."

His brow creased in a frown. "… Oh."

The lunchroom was somewhat like a small dark hole, but at least it was comfy. The murmur of conversation buzzed in the small space, occupying the air along with the TV showing "Law & Order" in the corner. By habit Megatron ducked his head coming through the door. Casey scanned the room and spotted an empty table on the far side. That was good… she didn't want to sit in the middle of the room in case the Decepticon-in-human's-clothing got loud or unruly. She figured he wouldn't like being in the middle anyway.

"Over here," she called, weaving between the other tables to approach the empty one. She dropped her backpack into the chair beside her and indicated the one opposite. He slid into it with shoulders hunched, studying every part of the room with narrowed eyes. Casey dug out her lunch bag, watching him.

"You needn't worry, there's nothing out to get you here."

"I'm not worried," he snapped. "I'm examining our position. How long will this take?"

"As long as it has to," she replied, ignoring the rattle of the paper bag in her shaky hands. "Are you hungry?"

Megatron said he didn't need anything. He stared at the doors leading out of this place, planning an escape route in case he needed it.

"You might eventually. You might as well feed that human body."

"I don't intend on staying in it long."

"You'll get hungry."

"I don't care. I'll live with it."

Casey thought about explaining to him that it didn't work that way with a flesh-and-blood body, but decided against it. She sighed. "Fine. I saw some free cookies though, and I'm not about to pass those up." When it was obvious he had ignored her, she went and got them.

After selecting the best cookies she glanced back to the table where Megatron sat. He had loosened up a bit, but still looked terribly alert, scowling at everyone or anything within an eight-foot radius. Those around him avoided his eyes. Even as a human, even without the scowl, he had a presence about him that warned absolute caution. Thinking for a moment, she selected three more cookies in another napkin. She wandered back to the table and placed them beside him. He gave her a hateful glare.

"I said I didn't WANT anything!"

The ferocity almost frightened her but she caught herself before it could show. Hopefully. "Then leave them and I'll eat them. Sheesh Megs, do you take all good gestures so well?"

Growling, he set aside the cookie-laden napkin, then looked at her. Carefully. She evaded his gaze, obviously nervous. A slow smile crept over his face.

"You're scared of me."

She busied herself with rummaging in her lunch bag. He reached over and held the bag, stilling her hand inside.

"Aren't you…?"

A flash of panic hit her and seeped into her bones. She swallowed. "Scared, no. Healthy amount of respect, yes."

He released her hand, still smiling. With teeth. "I see." He studied her with eyes so brown they were nearly red. "Tell me, Starflight, how long did you say you've been here?"

Uh oh. Questioning could lead to big problems. Casey chose her words carefully.

"Twenty-three years. On my own, like I said. And I have no commander either. I'm here to gather information about human life by living it. I know nothing else."

"And yet you know me."

"_Every_ Transformer would know you, even in the ultimate disguise."

He considered that. "This is true. My reputation precedes me as always. Are there any others with you?"

"Not that I know of. Contact with other Transformers is not permitted; otherwise it might damage my experience as a "human" by ruining the day-to-day normalness of it all."

"Then what is your information being gathered for?"

"I don't know." Casey caught his sideways glance and nearly sweated bullets. "I don't know, honest. Field operatives aren't always told what their research is for. I imagine some sort of infiltration project or something. But it's always been a secret to me."

"That is also true…" Megatron sat back, releasing her from a riveting gaze. He picked up a cookie and absentmindedly started tearing it apart. She watched each smashed piece hit the napkin and winced. If he pursued things any further he would figure out she was lying through her teeth.

"If you're here on your own, how do you intend to help me?"

"I'm not sure, aside from teaching you how to adapt to your human body." She bit into her apple, munching while pretending to look thoughtful. "What's the last thing you remember before finding yourself human here?"

Megatron frowned. "Prime had gotten me the other day— not too hard, mind you."

"Of course," she soothed.

"It'd been a long day and I needed repairs. I took a recharge session for the first time in an astrocycle. Next thing I know I'm a slagging fleshling in the middle of this city and I wanted to know what was going on."

"I see."

"And, of course, you know the rest." He noticed the ruined cookie had made a mess on his fingers and scowled, wiping them clean on the napkin. "I swear, once I find out who did this to me—" his red-brown eyes speared her green ones. "Surely you have a contact? Someone you give status reports to and updates on your progress?"

Casey almost choked. Well, she did, actually, when her surprise threw a piece of apple where it wasn't supposed to go. She coughed and hacked, exaggerating to buy herself some time. _Think of something!_

"Human food too strong for you?" he sneered.

She recovered with a swing of water, trying to breathe normally. "No. It's just a hazardous business eating sometimes."

"So I see," he smiled without any hint of good will. Casey briefly thought of a hungry dragon eyeing sheep. She went back to her lunch, hoping the interruption had distracted him from his previous question. Silence drifted between them. Occasionally Mr. McCoy's accusing voice shouted out of the TV, demanding to know why the defendant had lied to the authorities at the scene of a crime.

"Well?"

She froze. "Well what?"

"My question." Megatron eyed her expectantly.

"The question…? Oh, that." She grinned sheepishly but sobered when his look turned hungry. "Sorry. Uh, I don't know who my contact is. Part of the "thou shall not disturb the human experience" thing. It's all secret, like I said. I send my data off to random places that are e-mailed to me."

"E-mail?"

"Yeah. It's a medium of communication here through the Internet. Where you're from I don't think it's been invented yet."

"No, it doesn't sound familiar. Tell me, Starflight, and forgive me if I've asked already… What is your identification number?"

"Excuse me?" As soon as she heard herself say that, she covered genuine confusion with indignation. "What business of that is yours? Or do you ask that to every femme you come across so you can call on them later?"

Her tact must have worked because he raised his hands in surrender. "I was simply curious, no offense intended."

"Offense taken. If you MUST know, it starts with a four." She said huffily and buried herself into a ham sandwich.

"That's funny though…"

Casey stopped. "What?"

Megatron sat forward, any amusement nonexistent. "Most covert agents have ID numbers beginning with eight, or don't have one at all. The number four is reserved for garbage drones."

Her appetite vanished. _You are SO CAUGHT!_

"Er, uh, of course, it's been such a long time since I last tried to remember it—"

"_Silence_ imposter." He ordered sternly, not loudly but with power behind it. "Don't think you could fool me for long. I may not be in my rightful body but my mind is just fine. So who are you _really?_ An Autobot? Somebody hoping to keep me occupied while Starscream takes over my leadership?"

"…No," she squeaked and scooted her chair back a little, his presence suddenly much more dangerous.

"Who, then?" his eyes widened. "No… just a simple human?"

"Uh… had you fooled!" She tried to smile, but found that impossible with Megatron glaring death at her. "Yes," she tucked her hands on her lap, subdued, feeling like a child about to be scolded. If she was lucky that would be _all_ she'd get. Her gaze edged towards the backpack beside her. Maybe if she moved quickly enough…

"I did some testing earlier," he said in a low warning tone, "and I'm sure my abilities are faster and surer than any mere human has."

It was a threat she did not want to see any proof of. "Noted."

Silence fell between them again, heavy with doom. Megatron studied her, lengthening the silence to watch her squirm.

"I'm sure you have some arbitrary, normal human name, but I like Starflight so we'll stay with that. So, Starflight, how did you know it was me?"

"It's as I said, the truth: Anyone familiar with Transformers would know you, even in the ultimate disguise. It helps that you sound the same."

"And how would a human know of Transformers? Are they here fighting the war?"

"Er, not quite." Casey did her best to explain the real situation as she saw it, which must have involved a pass through realities as well as the form change. He took it in quietly, tapping his fingers together under his chin.

"Interesting…" Megatron leaned backwards and eyed her. "Under normal circumstances I would kill those who lie to me." He paused for effect, allowing the weight of his words to hang there above the girl's head. "But, since you so _graciously_ offered your help to me earlier I won't. For now."

"How sweet of you," she managed dryly, giving him a small chuckle before continuing.

"Seeing as I don't have the necessary knowledge and tools to care for myself, I'll be staying with you until I can return to my rightful body and reality."

He glanced at the chocolate chip cookie sitting by his elbow on its green napkin. He took it and gave it a bite, finding it pleasantly sweet. He grinned at the taste sensation, unlike anything he'd had before.

"Now aren't you glad you decided to help me?"

Casey slumped into her chair. "Thrilled."

**_To be continued…_**

_So what do you guys think? Please let me know! _


	2. Chapter 2

Lesson in Living

Chapter Two

By Starath

_Author's Note:__ The adventure continues! It turns out this will be quite an adventure, too. Once again, thanks to Crab, and the G1 Transformers don't belong to me. Enjoy!_

Lunch suddenly wasn't so much fun.

Megatron had lapsed into silence with a distant gaze on his face, obviously plotting something. His new "friend" forced herself to eat, every mouthful tasting like cement that solidified in her stomach. She kept watch on the clock above them on the wall. In fifteen minutes she had class. Casey wasn't terribly eager to get there, though, with the ultimately disguised Transformer in tow. Time whittled itself down to one o'clock and after throwing away the inedible contents of her meal she gathered her belongings. She glanced at Megatron, still staring vacantly, and wondered if she could sneak away without him noticing. Carefully she arose from the chair and left him behind, scurrying towards the door. She walked quickly and stiffly, waiting for a furious stomping of boots behind her. By the time she'd reached the threshold there was no indication that he had noticed her departure. She took a look back.

Megatron stood two inches behind her. "Where to now, friend?"

"EEE!" she squeaked and stumbled backwards.

He just grinned.

"Oh for the love of Primus, don't DO that!" she snapped.

He frowned. "Primus? Why would you use that name?"

Casey huffed, straightening her backpack. "I'm such a Transformers geek your phrases are rooted into my vocabulary."

The grin returned. "So I see."

Attempting to regain some sort of dignity, she simply turned and kept walking. Megatron followed close behind.

"So?" he pried.

"Do you know how WEIRD it is to hear your voice coming out of some guy who looks to be only forty years old?"

"What?"

"You sound like an old man, Megs."

It was his turn to huff. "I'm not old. And don't call me that. "

"You are too. WAY older than anybody on this planet, _Megs_."

"Stop that. I don't see why that has anything to do with the situation now. Tell me, where are we going?"

Casey hiked up the stairs, trying to leave him in the dust, but he stayed just behind her easily.

"To class. I'm a college student attending school. Today is my screenwriting class." She sighed, "…and we have to figure out what to do with you."

"Oh?"

"Well, I'm not sure that my teacher will allow a visitor." She crossed the skyway with the silver-haired shadow at her heels. "We can ask him if you're really interested, but if he says no you're going to have to keep yourself occupied for three and a half hours."

"Nobody refuses me," he assured her, "there should be no reason why I can't participate… and keep an eye on you."

_What, do you think I'll try to escape out the window?_ "Megs, you can't assume you're going to get your way around here. You're just some average guy to everyone in this world, and if you start spouting anything about being a Decepticon war leader they're gunna throw you in the loony bin."

"Loony bin?"

"They'll think you're crazy."

"Oh. I have thought about that, yes."

"Also, we should give you a human name."

Megatron balked. "Never!"

"Would you rather prefer I keep calling you "Megs" in front of people? I can't call you by your real name. It's not normal."

"Hmph." He grunted. "What is yours, then, for reference?"

Casey opened the door to the library, holding it so he could go in first, only he caught the handle and motioned her in ahead of him. Puzzled, she ducked under his arm and headed for a flight of stairs. "It's Casey. Casey Panzer."

He tested the word. "Any suggestions, Casey?"

"How about a famous leader's name: Julius? Alexander? Napoleon? Adolf?" She grinned to herself, thinking of the jokes only a human would know with those names.

"Alexander wasn't that great, Julius was stabbed in the back by a traitor, and I'm taller than Napoleon… And as clever as Adolf was," Megatron rubbed under his nose, "I believe I lack the moustache."

Casey had to stop and stare. "Since when would you know anything about Earth history?"

"My knowledge is not limited to the Cybertronian. "Know thy enemy,"" he quoted, amused by her surprise.

"…Oh. Okay then. Well," She sifted through a myriad of possible names, trying to think of one appropriate for a mighty Decepticon leader. "For irony's sake, how about Frank?"

He leaned on the stair banister, actually baffled. "I fail to see the significance in that one."

Casey giggled, hurrying up the last few stairs to the third floor. "No, but I do." She paused, turning back to him with a triumphant smile. "Michael."

"Michael?" he repeated, scratching his head, and pulled away when he remembered he had hair. He thought for a moment. It sounded distinguished, regal even. "That will do."

"And since it would be creepy to have an older guy following me around, let's add "Uncle" to that, so you're family."

He didn't hide his revulsion. "If you must."

"It's just a cover. And just so you know, that means I'm your niece. Now," Casey indicated a series of couches and chairs in front of her classroom. "_Uncle Mike_, you can crash here to take a nap. My classroom is right here. I swear this is the only door leading in and out of the place. I can't leave without you knowing."

He crossed his arms. "No."

"No..? Meg—Uncle Miiiike!"

"We will speak to your teacher first."

"You'll be bored to tears in there."

"Ah, but it would be better than bored out here, where I can't _watch_ you," he revealed a set of perfect teeth in a not-so-pleasant smile.

"There's no reason why you can't sit out here," she cried, disregarding the fact that arguing with Megatron was most likely futile.

"Do not think you can persuade me, girl." He warned, "I can be VERY stubborn."

A new voice broke into the conversation. "Hey Casey!"

They looked up to see a middle-aged man with salt-and-pepper hair and black rimmed glasses came hurrying towards them carrying a briefcase. She visibly sagged. "Hi Mr. Benson."

"Ready for class?" he asked.

"Um, actually…" she glanced at Megatron and trailed off a moment too long. He took the chance, giving a bright smile and offered a hand for a shake.

"Ah, Mr. Benson, my niece Casey was just telling me of your class. I'm visiting her for the day and I'm afraid I have nothing else to do, may I sit in on the session?"

Mr. Benson took the proffered hand. "I don't see why not. The room is kind of tight but I'm sure we can find a seat for you, Mr. Panzer, I'm guessing?"

"Excellent!" Megatron opened the door for the teacher and shook his head. "And yes, but you can just call me Michael. I don't mind."

Casey sighed and wished she knew how to become invisible. When Megatron gave her a smug grin over his shoulder, she wished even harder.

To say that she was uncomfortable during class would have been a gross understatement. She was downright nervous for the entire time— all three and a half hours of it. No matter what she did she couldn't focus. Scribbling in her notebook was the next best thing. Beside her Megatron sat like a model student and even participated in the class discussions. _Did he HAVE to sit next to me??_ She mentally grumbled more than once, constantly shifting her chair several centimeters to the left. Sitting so close made her acutely aware of how big Megatron was. Her initial impressions had assumed it was his gun-metal grey jacket that gave that illusion, but as class went on the room became warmer, he removed his jacket, ending any assumptions whatsoever. He must have caught her bug-eyed expression because he grinned after giving a casual shrug.

Casey scooted her chair further to the left.

He even smelled funny. Not that she went around smelling people, but she couldn't help noticing. It took her twenty minutes to realize the odor was like gun powder.

At the end of class Casey ditched the room scarcely before the teacher had said goodbye to everyone. Megatron was the last to leave, taking his time to shake Mr. Benson's hand again, politely thanking him for allowing the opportunity to sit in on the class. Mr. Benson said he was glad to meet him, and that Casey was lucky to have such an engaging uncle. Megatron laughed at the thought and searched her out in the lobby. If she had heard that she would have died on the spot. Instead he found her pacing in furious little circles.

"I don't ever ever ever EVER want to sit next to you again!!!"

Megatron threw the jacket over his shoulders, snaking his arms through the sleeves. "Why?" he sneered, "do I disgust you?"

"Noooooo!" Casey stomped her foot and commenced a fit of flailing. "It was just plain CREEPY, okay? I know who you really are, but no one else does, which is odd in of itself, but there you were sitting in class RIGHT next to me…." She let out a weird sound of aggravation. "It was just plain creepy. That's all I can say. You're supposed to be somewhere fighting a war, not being the teacher's pet! And good grief you could look like you could bust a baseball bat barehanded with the way you're built. Oh, and did you know you smell funny?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Is this what they meant when they described a "spazz attack" earlier?"

"Exactly!" Casey dropped her arms. "I have no idea why that was such a hard concept for you. I bet Starscream does it all the time."

"You humans use strange words." The irritatingly arrogant smile returned. "If I didn't know better, Casey, I'd think you were uncomfortable around me."

"Well DUH! What on Earth gave you THAT idea??"

"Are all human females so overdramatic?"

"No. Just the crazy ones." Casey pinched her eyes shut, breathing slowly in a forced effort to calm down. "And before you ask, yes I am crazy. Any normal girl wouldn't be in this situation."

Megatron crossed his arms, grinning so arrogantly she really, REALLY wished he'd just go away. When she opened her eyes he was still standing there. So much for that.

"Anyway, I need to start some research for the assignment Mr. Benson gave us, but otherwise I'm done for the day. And NO, you may NOT follow me home. That's the last thing I need. So, from here on out you're on your own."

"What's your point?"

She made her weird noise of aggravation again. He nearly laughed at her. During class he'd learned it was easy to annoy her with teasing.

"You know damn well what I mean. So, do you have a plan or should I leave your sorry butt now?"

He wasn't at all sorry, but he had to momentarily admire a girl who would talk to him that way. "Actually, I was considering returning to the point at which I came into your accursed world."

"Really? Where was that?" Frustration forgotten, she swapped expressions for one of interest.

"If you're curious, come with me."

She backed up even though they were already ten feet apart. "Ooooh no. I'm not THAT curious, and like hell I'd follow you anywhere."

"Tsk, Casey, that isn't the way to talk to your new friend," chided Megatron.

"Speak for yourself." She threw her backpack further to the left to relieve the weight off her right shoulder, stepping further away from him.

"It's not far," he said patiently, "You can see it from the window of your classroom."

Casey started a rapid-fire of flailing hand gestures. "Look, I know you hate humans but I can assure you we are far from stupid. I'm not following you anywhere because you could very well kidnap me for all I know."

He actually looked hurt. "What makes you think I'd do that?"

"You're Megatron. DUH. I'm an asset to you. But you're a big boy Megs, I'm sure you can take care of yourself."

He gave her a long hard look, and after a moment Casey worried that he might try to jump her. The threat that he was faster and stronger than a normal human was still fresh in her mind. She refused to look away from his red-brown eyes even though she desperately wanted to look around for anyone who could give her help. Finally he blinked, shrugging.

"Very well. This is where I part with you then, Casey, though I'm sure we will meet again." He turned and walked away, his heavy boots making an ominous sound on the tile.

_Geez I hope not. I like you better on TV. _She sucked in a deep breath, relieved. "Good luck, Megatron. Hope you get home."

He waved over his shoulder and disappeared down the stairs.

Casey waited a full fifteen minutes on the third floor before she ventured downstairs. Each step was a cautious one, and on the second floor landing she scanned the first floor lobby below her. Megatron was nowhere to be seen. At the bottom of the stairs she took another look around, carefully examining the rows of library books for any trace of silver hair poking above the shelves. Nothing. _Was he really gone?_ Casey scanned the room for any other hiding places that might be used. The security guard at the front desk caught her attention and reported that her "friend" had left the building ten minutes ago. She thanked him and nearly skipped to an empty computer. _Gone! He's really gone!_

"Relief" wasn't a strong enough word for what she felt. It was downright liberation. Megatron had that commanding, almost overpowering aura to him, nothing Casey was particularly comfortable with. Sure, he was human, but he still thought he was in charge and that was enough to make him dangerous. And yet… there had been a thrill to the whole experience too. After all, who in this world could say they stood next to the mighty Megatron? And actually fooled him? Granted, it was for only about 20 minutes, but still. She had him convinced she was a Decepticon too, and briefly she lived the fantasy of actually _being_ one. Although she couldn't go around bragging about it Casey still felt the magic of it. The day felt like a product of her imagination. She could wake up and find it was all a dream. If this was it was a far too real, spooky one.

Conscience nagged at the back of her mind, though. She tried ignoring it as she did her research for the next paper she had to write. Setting a Decepticon loose in the city alone may not have been the best thing to do. He could get himself in trouble, hurt, or worse. There was a lot he couldn't possibly know about being human. Uneasiness crept up the back of her throat. Casey beat it back down by reassuring herself that Megatron could take care of himself. And if worse came to worse he would find somebody else to bother. She momentarily pitied the poor fool he might come across. It certainly wouldn't be _her_ again.

After an hour of Internet research and notes she gathered everything up to stuff into her backpack. Time to go home. It was only four blocks away and it was a beautiful day out. It would be a nice to walk home, and she'd given Megatron plenty of time to get lost in the streets of St. Paul. But secretly she hoped he made it to wherever he wanted to go and went home. She imagined the other Decepticons in a panic, only to have him return and surprise them all. That would've been a sight to see.

The sun shimmered overhead, lifting Casey's spirits. Late spring was a pleasant time of year, when everything had turned green and flowered. She arrived at an intersection and waited for the signal telling her it was safe to cross the street. Bouncing on her heels she watched the cars whiz by and giggled at a funny bumper sticker that read _"Tailgate me and I'll flick a booger in your windshield."_

As usual it took too long for the crosswalk signal to change. A large hand clamped itself on her shoulder.

"Casey!"

She yelped and spun around. Megatron's eyes glittered in the sun. He was all smiles.

"Come to be with me after all, hmm?"

Casey sputtered like a whoopee cushion. "NO," she said, and tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let go. He started leading her around the corner.

"That's too bad, but I'm sure I can change your mind. See? What a coincidence, I'm going your way too."

"You're squeezing too hard," she whined, looking frantically around for anybody nearby.

He loosened his grip only slightly. "I found a few friends I'd like you to meet."

Casey spotted the small group of men standing just ahead of them in the grass beside the sidewalk. "Oh no," she moaned, "There are more?"

He nodded, still smiling. "I appear not to be the only one misplaced here."

Casey tried to think of some way to turn back, an excuse, an escape plan, faking a seizure, _anything_ to get away from Megatron, but every step took her closer to his "friends". He stayed directly behind her with a firm hand on her shoulder. Her heart pounded above the noise of the cars tearing down the street. For a moment she considered throwing herself in traffic. Maybe a skull fracture would be better than this. Megatron's thumb dug into her shoulder blade as if knowing her thoughts. Swallowing, she inspected the four men standing ahead. They straightened up like a small rank of soldiers. Well, these guys _were_ soldiers, she reminded herself.

The young man standing at the front of the group looked most displeased at Megatron's return. He wore boots like his leader's, but slimmer, his jeans covering the tops. He wore a big black jacket that looked like it belonged on a fighter pilot, not this tall lean man. More than once he brushed dark hair out of a perfectly angelic face marred by a smirk. _Starscream_, she decided. He could make girls swoon with a face like that. If only they knew who this handsome man was, they would run the other way.

The man behind Starscream looked older and was built like a brick. Casey suspected that if the guy so much as sneezed he would roll an SUV. He wore a stoic expression that would make the world's toughest bar bouncer cry and spill his guts. Curiously a ratty baseball cap, turned backwards, was on his head. It was all too easy to imagine a shaved head under that thing, but light hair poked out from underneath. Dark sunglasses shielded his eyes. _Soundwave?_ She guessed, but didn't pay attention to him long.

Standing on either side of the behemoth two identical teenagers watched Casey and Megatron's approach with twin grins of mischief. They looked like the Blues Brothers gone punk, complete with black shades, baggy jeans and everything that simply screamed _trouble_. One was built a little heavier than the other. But other than that their shirt colors were the only difference between them. Glancing back at Soundwave she realized the twins resembled him. _Rumble and Frenzy,_ Casey found herself smiling, _though I have no idea which one is which as usual. _They stood there like tough guys but Casey found them too short to be intimidating. Soundwave and Starscream were another matter. She tried to come in behind Megatron, but the hand on her shoulder wouldn't allow it. Starscream's frigid blue eyes studied her.

"So, you must be the one Megatron mentioned," he said without preamble. "Although amazingly enough the _rest_ of us made it this far without any help." He directed his sneer at Megatron.

"Oh shut it Starscream." The Decepticon leader snapped, threatening to backhand him.

The two men began a harsh stare-down. Casey took the opportunity to step away from Megatron just in case. A tense heartbeat passed and Starscream broke the stare and glanced her way again. "Starflight, right?"

"At your service." She nodded, and instantly regretted her choice of words. "…Figuratively speaking."

"Of course." He smiled a smile that only promised destruction. "I must say it's a rare thing to find a female Decepticon. I haven't met one in stellarcycles."

Casey grinned feebly, nodding automatically, but looked to Megatron, confused. _He hasn't told them I'm human? Why?_ His expression was indifferent and gave her no hint.

"Soundwave, have you located any others yet?"

"Negative." Droned the large man, as if completely bored with the world. "My remaining abilities have not detected any energy signatures."

"Hmmm. We may be the only ones here, then."

Casey took another cautious step away from Megatron and gained a good look at the group. They looked normal enough but there was an atmosphere of power and danger around them. It made it hard to breathe. She considered turning and running like hell down the street. She didn't belong here, even if she did know who they were. What could she possibly do? Obviously they weren't going away anytime soon. One Transformer-made-human was enough to deal with, now there were _five_ altogether. And guess who they would want help from? _Ooooh no. My life is crazy enough. And why couldn't I have been a fan of something more harmless, like Carebears?_ She looked over them again. Megatron was still talking to Soundwave while Starscream was occupied with making snide remarks. For the moment she was forgotten. She decided a quiet retreat was the best thing to do. Giving them a wide berth she stepped back onto the sidewalk behind Megatron, ready to bolt. No one noticed… almost. Twin shadows appeared on either side of hers.

"Hey baby, where you goin'?"

"Yeah, we haven't had the chance to talk yet!"

_Baby…?_ Casey twitched, embarrassment warring with annoyance. She'd never been called that her entire life. Luckily she was fairly tall for a girl, so Rumble and Frenzy didn't have a size advantage over her. At least in height.

"The name's Starflight," she said, "Don't call me "baby"."

One of them came around in front of her, grinning. "Why not? It fits. Ease off the throttle girl, we just want to talk."

"I'm sure you do… Whichever one you are."

They traded mischievous smiles. The beefy one beside her with fists like sledgehammers pointed to himself. "I'm Rumble."

Casey glanced at him. Blue shirt. Hooray for color coordination. She faced the one blocking her path. He wore a black shirt. "That makes you Frenzy."

She expected a sneer, a snicker, or a nasty joke, but instead he tipped up his glasses, revealing amber hazel eyes. He winked. "Got it, baby."

She cringed. "Don't call me that, please."

"Why not?"

"I don't like it. So stop."

"Why should I? Can you make me?"

Casey glared at him. "Want to feel a full semester's worth of books on your head?" She readied her backpack to prove the point. Frenzy wilted a fraction.

"I've been hit by worse. So, uh, come here often?"

She could only stare at him. "I live here."

"…Oh. I was, uh, just checking…"

Rumble snorted, eyeing his brother. "You're an idiot. She's not interested in you."

"It's a valid inquiry!" Frenzy shot back. "And besides, how would you know?"

"I can tell."

"You wouldn't know if Prime was standing on your head, slag-for-brains!"

Rumble clenched up his fists. "What was that? C'mere you!"

Casey squeaked in surprise as Frenzy dodged around her and took Rumble down onto the pavement. She watched in disbelief as the two of them began an all-out fistfight that might as well have had the cartoony cloud of dust and written sound effects. She jumped back onto the grass to get out of their way. They nearly rolled into the street but changed directions just in time to avoid falling off the sidewalk. There was no blood flying but plenty of curses. By now the other Decepticons had noticed the fight. Megatron sighed and hid his face in a hand. Suddenly one of them yelped.

"Daaaaaad! He's hitting me!" The complainer then landed a few punches of his own.

_Dad…?_ Casey mouthed, and giggled. Soundwave made an exasperated noise.

"Cease your fighting!" He ordered.

It took awhile but the teenagers stopped and separated, dusting themselves off. Frenzy hissed in pain when he brushed a scraped elbow.

"Great! Look what you did!"

"Well, you deserved it!" Rumble retrieved his sunglasses from the ground and put them back on, covering brown eyes. He crossed his arms and scowled at his brother, returning to Soundwave's side. There he stuck out his tongue. Cursing in Cybertronian, Frenzy inspected his elbow. It was a light scrape but still stung like crazy. When he noticed Casey watching him he shoved his hands in his pockets and acted "cool".

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, just fine. No thanks to _some,_" he shot a venomous glare at Rumble, who pointedly ignored him. Casey smiled and shook her head.

"You have to be more careful as a human, Frenzy. Your body is a lot more vulnerable and mortal. You two almost fell into the street. If you had you would have been killed. There are no quick repairs if any of you get hurt."

He kicked at a pebble and missed. "Yeah, well, it's not my fault he's a jerk."

"The point remains." Megatron was suddenly beside Casey. She jumped and tried to get away, only the hand appeared on her shoulder again. "As Starflight said, we must be careful while human. We cannot afford to become injured, especially since we won't know how to care for ourselves. But lucky for us, we know someone who_ does_."

Casey felt everyone's eyes fall on her and gulped. They were grinning. Except Soundwave. But he still looked smug. It was bad when Decepticons were smiling. Or smug. It could mean many things: Were they pleased? Amused? Plotting her demise? All of the above? She didn't want to know.

"Well, it's been fun guys, but I really ought to be going home now!" She twisted a bit in Megatron's grasp but he pulled her back and shoved her into Frenzy. He laughed and caught her in a mock imitation of a hug.

"Hey Boss, can we take her home? She's a funny gal!"

"Maybe." Megatron watched her wiggle away from Frenzy only to be caught again. Her face lit up with fear and embarrassment. "But in the meantime, I'm sure Starflight won't mind sharing her home with us. He leaned down to hold her chin. "Will you…?"

She snapped her chin away and tried to kick him. He easily blocked it while the others cruelly laughed. After some struggling she gave up; Frenzy was too strong for her.

"Like I have a choice?"

_**To be continued…**_

_Oh dear, what will happen now? Please tell me what you think!  
_


	3. Chapter 3

Lesson in Living

Chapter 3

By Starath

_Author's Note:__ Once again, I don't own Transformers or the song mentioned. For reader's education, go see "The Blues Brothers" movie if you haven't recently. This series will have some references to it from now on. Thank you again Crab, and Sinead, and special thanks to LDC for suggesting what to pull out of the drawer! xD _

Under normal circumstances any girl would be thrilled to bring home five cute guys.

Casey heard her death knell.

Somehow in the past five minutes they had pried the location of where she lived out of her and had her leading the way home. Maybe it had to do with the fact that they had her surrounded.

Up front Casey walked uncomfortably close to Frenzy, who had her in a hug from the side, nice and tight. Getting free was out of the question. Immediately behind Megatron still shadowed her. He gave her the occasional pat on the shoulder to assure her that she was still "safe" with them. Soundwave and Rumble marched side-by-side while Starscream brought up the rear. Yeah, this was a funeral procession all right.

They approached the apartment complex too soon. It stood three stories high, made of old brick, some of it falling out, but this was home nonetheless. A parking lot stretched out before them, but before they could cross it Casey wormed in Frenzy's grasp and half-turned to Megatron, pointing.

"We need to talk before going much further. Under that maple tree would be best."

Eyeing her with suspicion, Megatron glanced at the lone tree standing in its small island of grass and concrete. "It better be important."

"It is. We need to discuss a, uh, method of approach."

He saw the wisdom in this. "Very well."

They changed course like a trained squadron to advance on the tree. In its cooling shade the Decepticons seemed to relax a little, although they remained alert. Casey worried about Starscream for a moment since he looked terribly pale and shaky. He caught her glance while leaning on the tree and scowled at her. The others crowded around the trunk. She squirmed again, glaring at Frenzy.

"You can let go of me now, moron."

"Now baby, why would I want to do that?" he hugged her tighter, obviously enjoying her discomfort, "You might run away from us!"

She shoved him away. It didn't work very well; the guy had a grip of a steel trap. "Don't call me that. Megatron told me he was faster and stronger than a human. It stands to reason the rest of you would be the same way. I'm not THAT stupid."

"Aw, but I like having you so close."

"_Frenzy,_" growled Megatron.

Instantly he released her. Casey took two giant steps away and adjusted her ruffled clothing. She took another look at Starscream and swung her backpack off her shoulders. He wasn't looking any better. Digging out a water bottle, she handed it to him.

"Here, drink this. Right now."

"Why should I?" he snapped, making an effort to remain standing, and didn't take the bottle.

"Because you look like you're going to have a heat stroke. Take off your jacket while you're at it."

"What does that mean?" questioned Rumble. The others were looking at Starscream too, who shifted uneasily.

"It means his body is overheating and if he doesn't cool off soon he'll faint in a heap and we might have to get him to the hospital."

Alarm spread across their collective faces. Megatron took the bottle from Casey and shoved it in the Air Commander's face. "Do what she says. NOW."

After a tense second Starscream snatched the bottle out of his hand. He drained it in a couple gulps and struggled to get out of his black jacket. Like the others he was well-built, but tall and slim instead of bulky. He slid down until he was sitting. Casey carefully approached him. "Do you feel better?"

"Just… perfect," he replied, still pale. "I tried to ignore it but it got worse."

"Good thing I saw you before you went down, then. Can you manage a few more minutes outside?"

"...Yeah."

"Okay." Casey turned her attention to Megatron. "Take your jacket off too. We don't want you hitting the floor either."

"Agreed." He did so quickly.

After giving them all a sweeping glance, she was satisfied no one else was in danger of becoming ill. "Alright boys, we need to set some things straight right now."

Starscream snorted. "And who are _you_ to be telling us anything?"

"I know how things work around here, you don't. So shut up and listen. By the way, you're welcome. "

Megatron raised an eyebrow at the sharp ire in her voice. "Do continue."

She took a breath. "First of all, know this: You're in my world, on my turf. When I lay down rules you will follow them. It's not because I like being bossy. You need to know how to behave here. I will try to help you, but only if you follow my direction." Casey noted expressions ranging from disgust to bewilderment. "Oh come on. Anything less will get you in trouble and you know it. As you just saw, there are things that could endanger your lives."

"Yeah yeah," Frenzy shuffled his feet. "Get on with it."

"To start with, you need human names. And before you argue, your real names aren't normal for this setting. Megatron already has one. For future reference, my name is Casey. Use it when we're out in public, not Starflight."

"My human name is Michael," Megatron spat the name out as if it tasted bad. "And I am to be considered her uncle, some sort of family relation."

"That's right. Now for the rest of you…" Casey tapped her finger against her bottom lip, focusing on the Cassetticon twins. "You two are easy. Frenzy, your name is Jake. Rumble, you're Elwood." She looked up at Soundwave. "Due to your relationship with them, you're their father and they are your sons. They look like you to reinforce this connection. And if anyone asks, yes, you did name them after the Blues Brothers."

"Affirmative," said the large man, not bothering to show any puzzlement over the reference. Meanwhile, the boys tested their names.

"You don't look like a Jake," commented Rumble, frowning.

"Hmm. I don't know what an Elwood looks like, but it sounds ugly. So you look like one," replied Frenzy with a smirk. They would have started another fistfight if Soundwave hadn't thumped Frenzy on the head.

"Behave." the makeshift father warned.

"Ooowww… Daaaad…"

Giggling, Casey concentrated on Starscream. He still didn't look well, but better than before. He returned her gaze with one of contempt.

"Don't make it sound stupid. Anything you give me cannot possibly measure up to the greatness of my real name anyway."

"Except maybe your ego," she snapped back, then grinned. "Maverick."

"Maverick?" he blinked.

"I dunno why, it just fits you."

Starscream shrugged. "Whatever."

Casey faced the last Decepticon. "Hmm, that leaves you, Soundwave."

She had to think hard for this one and started to pace, mulling over possible names. Nothing came easily. She started through a list of famous names that might match Soundwave's nature. The others watched her make a furrow in the grass.

"A-ha!" Casey halted, triumphant. "Frank doesn't fit you either, but with some tweaking…. Walker does. You look like a Walker. It's either that or James Bond, but I don't think anyone would take that seriously."

"That is acceptable." Soundwave confirmed with a slight nod.

"Good! Um…" Casey tapped her foot. "Oh, since Megatron is family, the rest of you can be family friends who need a place to stay for the time being." She motioned behind her.

"As you can see, I live in an apartment building and it isn't fancy. There are many other people who live there too, all in close quarters. So you must stay quiet and behave, otherwise you could get me in big trouble. Also, let me make this clear: There are NO Autobots here. You have no enemies to worry about. Everyone here, including myself, are what you would call civilians. The most that you should be concerned with is anybody who might recognize your voices. Transformers are known here, but I'll explain how later. Otherwise, nobody is a threat to your real identities so don't treat them as such." Casey grinned. "And when you walk together, loosen up. You were a bunch of Stormtroopers earlier."

They gave her blank stares.

"… You were marching like a death squad." She clarified.

"Oh," everyone said, except Soundwave.

"As it is, this is going to be really awkward. Strangers don't come in very often, never mind one girl bringing home five men. It will get attention when we go in, so just smile and nod and let me do all the talking. Casey looked to Megatron. "I guess I can tell you the rest inside. You boys look pretty hot and hungry."

"Is that why my midsection hurts?" asked Frenzy, rubbing his stomach.

"Yeah, most likely." Casey sighed. "Let's get this over with."

She picked up her backpack and started across the parking lot. Glancing over her shoulder she could tell they were trying not to look like rank of soldiers but it wasn't working too well. It was the thought that counted, at least. Casey turned her eyes skyward. How the heck had her life turned completely upside-down like this?

The inner lobby looked empty when they approached the glass doors. Casey crossed her fingers and toes, praying it would stay that way. It was not to be. Just as they reached the door a raven-haired young woman appeared from the stairs and pushed the doors open. Her scant black outfit and matching heels sparkled in the sunlight, showing off more than glitter. She spun around, clutching her purse close, and stared. Her mouth hung open. Casey groaned inwardly. This woman was the LAST person she wanted attention from!

"Hi Silvia," she all but stuffed the Decepticons inside, but they seemed more interested in this new human female who gaped at them. Her eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates, looking from the guys to Casey. Her lip curled.

"Where did a little bookworm like you get five gorgeous guys?"

It was well known that Silvia was a man-hunter, and so far every one of them had realized she was bad news inside and out. Of course, Silvia could never understand why they thought this. She just knew boyfriends didn't last long. And it was a very bad thing to gain her fury. Or jealousy. Casey almost choked. _Silvia, jealous of me? Well I guess there's a first time for everything._ Usually all Silvia felt for her was contempt. Somehow she had earned the rank of Lowest Worm in her book. Casey gave her a sincere smile.

"School. You should try it some time. Come along, boys!"

They disappeared into the building long before Silvia could realize she had been insulted.

Casey led them up to the third floor. She fumbled with her key in the door of apartment #348 and resorted to cursing at the thing to get it open. She flicked on the hallway light inside and closed the door behind them. She showed the Decepticons how to take off their shoes. The last thing she wanted was dirt and goodness knew what else tracked all over her apartment. Collective confusion ensued over removing the footwear until they understood the concept of taking off clothing after more explanation.

They fanned out to explore the apartment. Rumble and Frenzy discovered twin beanbag chairs in one corner and declared them the best human inventions ever. Meanwhile, Casey made Starscream drink more water since he was still woozy, then insisted the others do the same. Naturally there was some complaining about it. That soon quieted when everyone realized how thirsty they were. Afterwards Soundwave examined her audio equipment while Megatron investigated a second hallway. He found a light switch and flipped it on. A sudden sight made him start and yell, bringing attention from the others.

"What's the matter, Boss?" Frenzy hurried around the corner and skidded beside his leader with a yelp.

A full-length mirror hung on the back of a door at the end of the hallway. Megatron stared at his reflection, emotions spanning from revulsion to fascination. This was the ultimate proof he was human. A filthy, disgusting human. Megatron fought the urge to tear himself apart. This was utterly _wrong_. He was a Transformer, a Decepticon war leader, not a fleshbag! It _couldn't_ be him. But… it was. He _felt_ human. Megatron suppressed a vicious tremor and sucked in a breath. It would do no good to panic about this. He took slight comfort in noticing his facial features remained recognizable, but there was… the silver hair. And flesh. And clothing. This was him in an alien form. All the alarms in his head screeched at the wrongness of it all. If he tried hard enough he could turn away from this image believing this was someone else entirely. For a moment he considered it, but denial does nothing. Stuck as a part of the race he wanted to destroy! Primus certainly had his streak of sick ironic humor. And why, _why were they here?_

He finally noticed Frenzy's reflection. The young man had tipped up his sunglasses so he could see better. Amber-brown eyes twinkled back at him. Megatron began to wonder if Frenzy was going through the same internal struggle he had. And still, _this_ was Frenzy? Also human? Megatron's temples started to pound. He could not deny what he saw no matter how badly he wanted to. The other Decepticons were human too. For better or worse this was the truth.

Suddenly Frenzy let out a laugh, making him jump. "Hey Rumble! You gotta come look at this!"

So much for any internal struggle. _Am I the only one disgusted by this?_

While Frenzy attempted some lame gangster-style poses his brother wandered up behind him. "Oh wow! That's me? And that's you?"

"Duh, what did you think? We look exactly the same! Do you realize what this means?"

They looked at each other and nearly vibrated excitement. They shared a high-five.

"The old switcheroo, no paint included!" they howled together.

"You know we hate it when you two do that," muttered Starscream from behind. He pushed through to get beside Megatron and caught his reflection in the mirror. For a moment he was actually speechless. Then he smirked at the man by his side.

"How about that. I'm cuter than you."

"HA!" scoffed Megatron, disgust forgotten. "You still look like a child. At least I look distinguished."

"Or, in other words, old."

"I'm not old!"

Rumble rolled his eyes and squeezed out from between them. "Hey Dad you gotta come and see what you look like!"

"We both have been around for 10 million stellarcycles. But you have me beat by at least half a million stellarcycles more, Megatron."

"And I don't look bad for that age, now do I?"

Casey leaned on the couch arm, watching the captivated Decepticons with amusement. Frenzy popped out of the hallway just as Rumble began dragging Soundwave to the mirror by the hand. He grabbed his other arm.

"Starflight was right, you do look like us!"

Starscream and Megatron made room for their old friend while continuing the heated debate on Megatron's age. Soundwave easily ignored them. His eyebrows peaked above his sunglasses. He reached out to the mirror to touch it, brushing his fingers across the cool glass. Then he fingered his clothing.

"We are all truly human," he said softly with some awe, the most emotion he'd displayed all day.

Megatron shoved Starscream to the side, having had enough abuse as to how old he was. The Seeker fell backwards with a squawk. "Yes, interesting, we have gained all the necessary human attributes." He stroked his chin. "Yet we have kept some of our original characteristics."

"Yeah, like your large chin and forehead."

He spun around. "Who said that??"

Frenzy pointed at Casey. She squeaked and pointed at Rumble. Rumble quickly pointed to Frenzy.

Megatron snorted. "Cowards."

By now Starscream had gotten up and found space between his leader and Soundwave, who was staring at his image so hard the mirror might have cracked. Casey watched Starscream examine his profile, clearly pleased with his looks.

"Just to warn you, Screamer, with a face like that you're going to have to beat girls off with a stick."

He glanced at her reflection. "I realize that, although I have no intention of doing so."

Megatron snorted again and withdrew from the hall. He sat down on the couch. "Some things never change."

"Seriously though," Casey pressed on, "Some girls are bad news. You could get yourself in some big trouble."

Rumble scratched his head. "Like that girl from outside? She looked scary."

"You have NO idea. Stay clear of her. All Silvia ever does is cause misery because her looks allow her to get away with it. She'll lie, cheat and steal to get a guy's attention, only to break his heart a week later. She works at a local bar and thinks she's hot stuff for some reason. But she's not."

"Sounded like there's no lost love between you two," commented Frenzy, who had dived back into the beanbag chairs. He rested on his stomach, looking at her.

Casey studied the carpet. "You could say that." After a quiet moment she spoke again. "Well, if you guys are done with the mirror, I need to get into my room to change clothes and then see about making something to eat."

"Eat?" That got everyone's attention so fast she had to laugh.

"Yes, eating. But not until you two get away from my door." Starscream and Soundwave hurried away from it. "Don't touch anything until I come back, and by the way, here's your first rule: My room is forbidden territory for you boys, especially when locked."

Buried halfway into the other beanbag chair, Rumble grinned. "Let me get my lock picks and I'll fix that!"

The Decepticons laughed together when she blushed and slammed the door shut.

Casey cranked up her music to drown them out. This was going to be… difficult. And it could easily become a nightmare. No, this was _already_ a nightmare. Decepticons were one thing. Decepticons disguised as _humans_ was another level of lunacy. Somehow she had to remain in control and not allow them to jerk her around. The fact that they were completely clueless about being human should help. She pulled on an old T-shirt and shorts, frowning. But first there was a more immediate problem: What was she going to feed these boys? She never ate much so her food supply wasn't very plentiful. Casey grimaced. That meant chipping into her emergency junk food stash.

She took a moment to look around her room. There was a good reason why she didn't want them in here, aside from not wanting them to get into her private belongings. Along the shelves stood numerous Transformers toys, ranging from the Beast Wars line to the newest Classics. It was a small collection but she didn't want the boys seeing them. A large Decepticon poster hung on her wall. Good thing she hadn't gotten the Autobot one that day. Some other Transformers stuff was scattered around her room. She set about hiding it all, just in case. She stashed some of her treasured stuffed animals on the highest shelf in the closet too. Casey sighed, smoothing over the star-printed bedspread. For some reason Megatron hadn't told the others she was human. She should keep up that impression and ask about it as soon as possible. It hit her again. There were ACTUAL Transformers here! Could this get any more insane?

Casey halted the CD in mid-"I'm not crazy, just a little unwell" and steeled herself. She could do this. Repeating the thought aloud, she yanked open the door to march out.

And smacked into Starscream's chest.

"Holy—"

"OW! What the fraggin—"

He didn't move an inch, but she started to fall backwards, pin-wheeling her arms for balance. Starscream caught her in mid-flail before she hit the floor.

"Uh… Hi."

"Yeah… Hi." _He's holding me he's holding me OMIGOSH EEE!!_ "W-what were you doing beside my door?"

"I, uh…"

"Admiring his looks in that mirror, what else?" Megatron's voice came from the living room. He glared at them from the couch in the most disapproving way. "Starscream you idiot, let her go."

He did so abruptly and dumped Casey on the ground. "At least I HAVE looks, Megatron, unlike YOU!"

She sat there on the floor, dazed. This was _so WEIRD_.

"You haven't gotten out of human pubescence yet!"

And yet somehow seemed so normal.

"I have too!" Starscream turned her, expecting her at near-eyelevel, only he found he had to glance down farther. "How old do I look?" he demanded.

"You look to be about 25."

Starscream grinned back at his leader in triumph.

"—But you act like you're 13."

"HA!" cried Megatron in bigger triumph.

"Hey Star!" Rumble's head appeared around the corner. "What are you doing on the floor? Aren't you gunna make us something to eat?"

"Yeah, the floor can wait!" Frenzy's face appeared beside his brother's. "I'm hungry!"

Casey rolled her eyes. "Okay okay." She reached out to Starscream so he could help her up, only he was already halfway down the hall. "Oh, thanks a LOT, Screamer! Throw me on the floor, then leave me here!"

"Eh?" He frowned at her, oblivious.

Soon enough they were gathered in her kitchen. Where there wasn't room they crowded along the four-foot wall on one side. Soundwave occupied half of it on his own beside the twins. They watched Casey dig into the freezer and pull out a round flat object.

"This, my friends, is possibly one of mankind's greatest inventions: The pizza."

Starscream wrinkled his nose. "We're going to eat _that_?"

"Not in its current state, no. It needs to be cooked first."

There was a collective "Oh" as she set the frozen pizza aside and set the oven to the appropriate temperature.

"How long will that take?" whined Frenzy.

"About twenty minutes." She noted their hungry stares and had to pity anything edible they came near. "…But somehow I doubt you boys have eaten anything today, so…"

Eager faces lit up when she pulled out a box of graham crackers and started handing them out. "While you boys have that I'll explain what's here in the kitchen."

"Why?"

"Because I won't always be around to feed you. I'm at school or work most of the time."

That had their attention. The room quieted. They sat there munching like a group of kindergarteners at snack time. Casey went to a row of drawers at the counter.

"Alright, the best thing to start with would be the—what the—?" She looked them over. "I leave you alone for five minutes and someone rearranges my silverware drawers. Honestly."

Frenzy could barely contain his glee, raising his hand. "I did it!! Just wanted to keep you on your toes, baby!"

She immediately wanted to brain him with the soup ladle. "I told you not to call me that."

"It still fits you. And you're cute when you look like you want to kill me."

Casey covered her eyes for a moment, calming herself down. "Just stop it. ANYway," she closed the drawer and went on to the next one. She started to say something when she shrieked and jumped back. Rumble and Frenzy fell over laughing. Cautiously she snatched a pair of tongs and lifted a fuzzy, smelly thing out of the drawer. Good thing it hadn't moved or she would have killed it. Brutally.

"WHOSE sock is this?"

Rumble managed to stop laughing, poked his head above the wall, saw her look of fury, and collapsed against Frenzy in a new fit of giggles. Casey leaned over the wall and saw he had a bare foot hidden under the baggy bottom of his jeans.

"Your sock, young sir."

When he didn't take it she draped it over his head and thwapped him with the tongs. He didn't notice. By now the other Decepticons were grinning. She rounded on Megatron, waving the tongs threateningly.

"You know, as the leader figure the LEAST you could do is enforce any rules I lay down to maintain order."

He shrugged. "Not if I don't like them."

"Don't abuse my good will."

"But it's so much fun!" Rumble's happy eyes appeared over the wall. He ducked down before she could hit him again.

Casey threw the tongs in the sink, making her strange noises of frustration. "Are you boys going to let me teach you anything or not?" She looked over each of them, scowling. No one said a word, although Megatron had the most infuriating grin. _Oh, this was going to be a nightmare all right…_

And so began the first session of "How to Be a Human: In the Kitchen." Casey showed them how to use appliances like the stove, oven and toaster. She explicitly stressed that strange objects did NOT belong in the refrigerator or freezer, or anywhere else for that matter. The microwave became a source of intense interest and debate until the Decepticons figured out that tiny Shockwaves did not inhabit the microwave to beat food to death. She was pleased for making them believe that for at least ten minutes. She described what as safe to eat and what was not, and made sure they knew how to read cooking instructions if they had to make something on their own. The concept of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich was well-received too. She pointed out how to clean and put away dishes to keep the place tidy. At this Megatron and Starscream traded glances, thinking the same thing: Did she _really_ expect Decepticons to do their own dishes?

A high-pitched beep announced the pizza was done cooking. As Casey pulled it out they stared at it with noses twitching, drool quickly congealing on the kitchen table. She cut it up and quickly got out of the way. Moments later an empty cooking sheet rattled on the counter. She sighed and put a second pizza in the oven, ignoring her growling stomach.

When the third pizza had been consumed the Decepticons finally sat back, content. Casey had never seen so much food disappear so fast. She nibbled on a slice she managed to snatch out of their path.

"Feeling better?" She asked and gathered up the dirty plates.

"…Uh huh," nodded Frenzy, "And I revise my previous declaration that beanbag chairs are the best human invention ever."

"Yeah," Rumble agreed, also nodding, "It's pizza. No contest."

"I'm not sure I can get up," moaned Starscream.

"Good, then I won't have to put up with you elsewhere." Megatron said with his usual venom, but he didn't look like he would be moving anytime soon either.

"Is there more?" asked Soundwave suddenly.

Everyone stared at him. Casey giggled.

"Ah, we have found which of you is the bottomless pit. Just let things settle first before I find you anything more, okay?"

He actually looked sad. "…Affirmative."

"Hey Star, what do we do now?" Rumble asked, making a valiant effort to get off the stool he sat on. Frenzy helped him up and they toddled over to the couch.

Casey scrubbed off the plates and cookie sheet, setting them in the drain rack to dry. She started on the water glasses. "Well, this is downtime for me, rare as it is. But I finished my homework earlier this week. So I guess we can watch a movie or something."

The twins perked up. "A movie?"

"Just so long as it's nothing completely idiotic," grumbled Megatron, "I have enough of that in real life."

Starscream was too stuffed to do anything other than blow a raspberry at him.

"Think of it as another way to learn about being human," offered Casey, drying her hands on a towel. Her eyes brightened. "Oh, I know just the one!"

She went to the TV stand and rummaged in the cupboard underneath an old TV set. With a happy squeak she pulled out a black and white DVD case. She grinned at Rumble and Frenzy. "Want to see who I named you two after?" She showed them the front cover of _The Blues Brothers_.

"Sure!"

"Yeah! Let's do it!"

"Great. Hey Soundwave, you'll want to see this too so you'll know what I was talking about earlier."

He was still staring forlornly at the empty cookie sheet, now dripping dry in the drain rack.

"Transmission received. But stomach not full."

Casey soon realized how much of the movie she had to explain so it made sense to them. No, nuns didn't really fly. No, people do not in fact drive nonchalantly through shopping malls, they don't randomly start dancing in the streets en masse, even it was a really good song, and God was a being somewhat like Primus only not. But for the most part they enjoyed the movie even though Megatron complained about every musical number. To a Transformer, the musical rhythms humans liked were completely alien and downright irritating. Soundwave and the twins didn't mind as much, luckily. Starscream just wanted to see another car wreck. Casey sat between him and Megatron on the couch, hoping to ensure some amount of peace. It was working… sort of. Fortunately everyone cheered for the vengeful ex-girlfriend who tried to destroy Jake Blues with a missile launcher, flamethrower and hunting rifle. At the same time the Decepticons made mental notes to never betray any human females. Ever.

By the time the band was singing "Jailhouse Rock" at movie's end it was past 11 o'clock and the boys were acting sleepy. Rumble and Frenzy got up from their spot on the floor, pushing up their sunglasses to do some eye-rubbing.

"Why do my eyes feel funny?" asked Frenzy with a gigantic yawn.

"I can barely keep mine open," Rumble shuffled over to the beanbag chairs he and his brother had claimed. "Is there something wrong?"

Casey glanced over Megatron and Starscream. They were looking particularly droopy too.

"No, it just means you're sleepy. Your body is telling you it's time to rest."

"Oh." Frenzy collapsed onto the beanbag chair beside Rumble. "And that's okay?"

"Yep. A human body has to rest and repair itself while you sleep."

"So it's like recharging?"

"I guess so, yes."

"It sounds like we need it," said Megatron, attempting to remain in his commanding tone, but a wide yawn ruined it. "Starflight, show us to your recharge berth."

"You're sitting on it. One of them," she clarified, getting up from between the Decepticon leader and Air Commander. While Megatron investigated the couch closely she pulled on Starscream's sleeve to wake him up. He blinked slowly, too tired to say anything nasty.

"Screamer, go over to the recliner. Megatron can have the couch."

He stumbled over to it and sat down, sinking into its meager padding. "Now what?"

"Push the button on the right side. It will allow you to lay back."

He found the button and yelped in surprise when he found himself staring at the ceiling. Megatron made himself comfortable on the couch.

"How do we engage this 'sleep'?" he demanded, still awake enough to be bossy.

Out of his view Casey shook her head and removed a blanket and a few pillows out from under the end table. A row of framed photos rattled. She stilled them with care. She went to the Cassetticon twins and started to say something, then found herself smiling. They were already asleep side-by-side, tucked into the beanbag chairs against the wall. Gently she draped the blanket over them. They stirred a little and wiggled deeper under the blanket.

"Well?" snapped Megatron.

Casey hurried back to the couch and smacked him with a pillow. "Keep your voice down. The two boys are already asleep."

"Really?" he sat up to see. "How?"

She shoved the pillow into his hands. "Stay quiet and I'll tell you. Put that where you want your head to go and lay back down. Screamer, do you want one?"

Quiet snores answered.

"Him too? Hmph, quiet for once at least. Soundwave, are you still online?"

Behind them by the windowsill a sleepy voice droned. "Affirmative."

Megatron settled himself down, fighting to stay alert but his mind felt like it was being stuffed with fuzz. "Starflight, how did they do it? This is normal?"

"Yes, it is. Don't worry, it's because you boys have had a long day. Close your eyes."

"Done. Now what?"

"Go to sleep."

His eyes snapped open so he could glare at her. Casey crossed her arms. "Seriously. It's not like turning yourself off. It's gradual. You just need to close your eyes and go to sleep. It helps if you relax first."

He snorted. "I haven't been 'relaxed' in centuries."

"Well okay, think on this: You've been leading the Decepticons for what, a couple million years?"

"At least."

"Alright… and when was the last time you had a _vacation_?"

Suddenly the idea of relaxing to sleep seemed infinitely more possible. Megatron quieted down and was soon breathing deep.

Last Casey checked on Soundwave. He had made use of the wide windowsill behind the couch next the kitchen. She apologized for the lack of furniture and offered the second pillow. He took it and stuffed it behind him. Casey shuffled from foot to foot, unsure of how to interact with him. He studied the city streets below them for a minute before turning to her. It was then she realized he had taken off his sunglasses, revealing startling red-brown eyes like Megatron had. They seemed to dimly glow in the near-darkness.

"There is much we do not know." He said softly.

Casey swallowed. "That's what I can be here for, to teach you."

He shook his head. "Negative… more than what is food or proper human behavior." Soundwave returned his gaze to the city street. "We are here for some other reason. To acquire something additional."

This quiet revelation clearly troubled him. The others hadn't thought of this yet. His stoic expression quivered as if some emotion was trying to bubble to the surface. Casey shrugged and tried to make a joke.

"Maybe Primus got bored one day, huh?"

Soundwave brought his attention back to her. She quailed until she saw the faintest hint of a smile. "Negative. Highly unlikely."

"Heh, maybe… are you going to be comfortable here?"

"Affirmative."

She giggled. "I'd pay money to hear you say something other than that."

He shrugged, looking at the sleeping twins in the corner. "They assume this is a big adventure. And here they are my sons, I am "father". Current events evade concise analysis. Conclusions are elusive."

"Don't worry, I can help you with them too and I'm sure we'll figure this out." Casey took a step back, hands tucked behind her. "Well, goodnight Soundwave."

She clicked off the lamp and carefully tip-toed to her room. Soundwave decided to try the odd phrase.

"Goodnight Starflight."

_**To be continued…**_

_Boy, this part makes me sleepy whenever I read it. I appreciate your comments very much everyone, they mean a lot. Let me know what you think!_


	4. Chapter 4

Lesson in Living

Chapter 4

By: Starath

_Author's Note:__ This chapter was an absolute riot to write out, although I'm going to try and not make them any longer than this. It took a lil bit to get this done since I went to Botcon2007—if you ever get the chance, go to Botcon! As always, I don't own Transformers and special thanks to Crab for his help and inspiration for some of the impending insanity! _

The next morning Casey's door slowly swung open. She appeared in a fuzzy bathrobe and bunny slippers, her hair a tangled mess from sleep. She peeked into the living room.

The Decepticons hadn't moved from where she left them. Starscream snored softly from the recliner. Soundwave had pressed himself entirely onto the windowsill with his baseball hat shading his eyes, his sunglasses knocked to the floor. For a moment Casey didn't see Rumble and Frenzy until she realized the twins had curled up and disappeared under their blanket. One glance at Megatron made her clamp her mouth shut with both hands to smother giggles. Sometime during the night he had rolled over onto his belly and he was snoring with mouth wide open, face mashed into his pillow. Oh, she HAD to take pictures of this!

Whoever invented camera-phones was a genius.

Casey slipped into the bathroom to take a shower and prepare for the craziness of the day.

Some life stirred when she moved around the kitchen later. Rumble shifted and appeared out from under the blanket like a turtle. Frenzy's head emerged soon after. The looked at each other sleepily and shared goofy grins. After taking in their bearings they spotted Casey at the same time. She smiled and motioned for them to stay quiet. They nodded and took the blanket with them in the kitchen, huddled to stay warm.

"Good morning you two."

They sat down heavily at the table, drowsy.

"Who put this fuzz in my head?" muttered Rumble. "I can't think yet."

"I'm hungry," grumbled Frenzy.

Casey put a slice of peanut-buttered toast in front of them both. "There you go for now. And it's okay Rumble, you're just not awake yet. You'll be able to think soon."

"I'm not sure I wanna." He gnawed at the toast. "What are we going to do today, Star?"

She had been wondering about that herself. Unfortunately, the thing she had in mind was not very appealing. "Don't know yet. We'll wait for the others to wake up before I decide."

"Okay." Frenzy pulled on the blanket to get more of it from his brother, engaging a brief tug-of-war. They settled down, not awake enough to fight.

"Geez, I didn't know Megatron could snore so slaggin' loud." Rumble dropped his toast to cover his ears.

Soundwave crawled out of his windowsill next and almost hit the floor. He wobbled upright with a lot of stretching and groaning. His large frame wasn't meant to be stuffed in such a small space. He wandered into the kitchen and sat down, imitating a lump on a frog while staring at nothing. Casey reassured the worried twins that Soundwave's mind was taking time to restart and there was nothing wrong with him.

With a snort, Starscream came alive and gazed at the ceiling, wondering vaguely if he had come back from the dead. Soon enough he was also sitting at the kitchen table trying to wake up, sleepy but somewhat coherent. Luckily his mouth wasn't among the first things reactivated so he mostly answered with grunts and other equally unintelligent noises.

Megatron awoke last and found himself face-down on the couch. It took awhile before he realized why. He sat up and blinked, rubbing his hair. It had become a matted silver patch shoved sideways like a short mohawk in harsh winds. Casey watched him, particularly curious about what a sleepy Megatron might be like.

"Good morning Sunshine!" she chirped.

His head snapped around. She could see the gears of his mind slowly grinding back into motion through his eyes.

"To the Pit with you, slagging femme." He grumbled after a long pause.

Ah. He was just as grouchy as the awake Megatron, only with a time delay.

"Is he always so pleasant in the morning?"

Rumble shrugged. "I dunno. Actually, I don't think we've ever seen him right out of recharge."

"Yeah. He usually stays holed up for awhile." Added Frenzy. "Have you ever seen him after recharge, Dad?"

Soundwave didn't answer. He snored lightly, head resting on folded arms. Frenzy tried poking him. No response.

"Just let him be, Frenzy." Casey smiled brightly as Megatron staggered towards them in the kitchen. "Had a good sleep?"

"If that's what you call it," he blinked, trying to focus on her through bleary eyes. "I don't remember anything after you mentioned a vacation."

"Wow. You went out like a light then."

"Although… I recall the strangest visions." Megatron leaned on the short wall, shaking his head to clear it. "It was… About these two guys in black suits and hats. They drove around in a giant pizza. And then the pizza started singing and a whole swarm of short Primes started dancing in the streets." He paused. "It was bizarre. Are night visions normal too?"

Casey giggled. "You were dreaming. A weird one, but it was just a dream. Sometimes a resting human mind creates them out of things you've seen during the day. In this case you saw the Blues Brothers, the pizza, and your worst enemy combined into one."

He sighed with relief. "Good. I feared for my sanity. I thought I was losing it."

"It would certainly be a short trip." Predictably Starscream's first intelligent phrase of the day was an insult.

"How would YOU like a short trip?"

A loud gurgle interrupted further argument. Starscream sat up straighter, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Why is my midsection making that noise? It hurts."

Another gurgle answered the first. "Mine too," admitted Megatron.

Soundwave continued snoring.

"That's your stomach trying to eat itself. You have thirty minutes to live."

"**WHAT?**"

Rumble choked and dropped his second piece of toast. Frenzy fell off his stool. Soundwave snorted and his head came up, eyes wide open. Starscream clutched his midsection, trying to smother the gurgles. Megatron's eyebrows had disappeared completely into his hair. They stared at her in complete horror. Casey took the opportunity to take another picture, cackling.

"What are you laughing about, femme? We require feeding!" roared Megatron.

"Calm down, calm down. I was joking. I knew that would wake you boys up."

They stared at her a moment more before it sank in. So they _weren't_ going to die. The Decepticons let her have it.

"Oh Primus, don't say things like that!"

"I must face Prime in our deciding battle! Death here is out of the question!"

"Yeah, I can't die in this body! It lacks dignity befitted to me!"

"Insufficient humor not appreciated."

Frenzy was closest to her and tried to grab her. "Babe, don't scare me like that!"

She dodged out of the way, getting close to Megatron in the process. He wasn't completely awake yet but there was murder in his eyes. "In the future do not say such things."

"Then how am I going to have any fun?"

"If I had my fusion cannon right now you'd be tasting it!"

The threat was overshadowed by something else entirely. "Phew!" Casey waved a hand in front of her nose. "When'd you eat that possum, Megs?"

"What nonsense are you spouting? I don't even know what a 'possum' is."

"Ah, Primus! Morning breath to the extreme. It's the mouthwash for you, little mister!" She snagged his arm and dragged him to the bathroom. He inspected the tiny room while she poured him a small cup of blue liquid from an enormous bottle.

"Is this another joke of yours?"

"No. This kills things that make your breath smell bad. You need it. Trust me. Drink this but don't swallow. Hold it in your mouth as long as you can and then spit it out in the sink."

Megatron eyed her before taking the cup and doing as instructed. Within moments his eyes watered and he gagged, letting the mouthwash go in a minor eruption.

"By the Pit! How can you humans torture yourself for such a trivial reason? It burns!"

Casey handed him a towel. "It's supposed to. It means it's working. And it's seen as a common courtesy to those around you." She took a sniff. "Now you're minty fresh!"

"Decepticons are not "minty"," he grumbled.

Breakfast wasn't a fancy affair. The extent of it was cold cereal and toast. Casey explained to them that a human body typically had to be fed three times a day so it had enough fuel to function properly. It was an odd concept since they were used to running off of energon, but no one complained if it meant feeding a stomach so it wouldn't eat itself.

With food in their bellies the Decepticons were finally awake and ready to begin their second day of being human. "Ready" and "willing" were two different things, however. The twins looked forward to it at least. They sat on the back of the couch, their feet dangling down as they wobbled to keep balance.

"Everyone's up now, have you decided what we're gunna do today?" asked Frenzy.

Megatron grimaced. They were asking _her_ instead of him?

"Make it something fun. We never do anything fun back at base." Chimed in Rumble.

_Destroying Autobots wasn't fun?_

"Um, well, I'm still thinking about it."

Soundwave inspected Casey's radio, TV and DVD player again; interested in knowing how they worked. If only he could take them apart… His knee bumped the end table and the lamp rattled on its old stand. He steadied it but knocked several picture frames over in the process. He ignored them until an image caught his attention. He picked it up.

"Starflight."

"Hmm? Oh, did they fall over again?" Casey went to his side and righted them carefully. She checked the frames for damage. Soundwave handed her the photo.

"Identify these individuals."

It was a family portrait in front of a pine tree, everyone smiling happily at the camera. A young version of Casey stood in front of a middle-aged couple between an older brother and younger sister. A sad smile crossed her face that deepened when she remembered they thought she was a real Decepticon.

"Well, I was sent here to study humans, which meant growing up among them. This is my baby sister Kimberly, but we call her Kimmi. This was taken when she was four years old. She's ten now. Keith is my big brother. I haven't seen him for a few years though. He's in the military. And that's my mom and dad. Dad still lives up north with Kimmi. Keith is serving in Iraq right now."

"Iraq? Location unknown. Identify."

"It's a country in the Middle East. There's…. there's a war right now. I don't agree with it… but I support my brother nonetheless." Casey took a deep breath and tried not to cling to the picture too hard, aware they were watching her. "I know you're all soldiers and you're used to war and losing people you know… but I'm not. I want Keith to come home. I miss him so much."

Starscream pushed himself away from the kitchen window. "War has a price. Be careful about being too hopeful."

Water brimmed in Casey's eyes. "I know."

"What about the one you call mom?" Frenzy wiggled in beside her. "Where is she?"

Pain blossomed on her face. She bit her lip, determined not to cry. "She's gone."

"Where?"

Casey set down the framed photo and straightened up the neat row of precious memories. "No Frenzy, she's _gone_. She was killed in a car accident two years ago in December."

The room went quiet. The gravity of her words weighed unusually heavy in the air. Megatron saw Casey tremble and exchanged glances with Starscream and Rumble. Death happened all around them while they warred with the Autobots. It wasn't something they dwelled on but it was still there when best friends suddenly disappeared. It was part of the life of a soldier. Casey was much more sheltered. Was it a treasure to have, to still grieve over death and value life? Or were they too hardened by war to care anymore?

Frenzy looked up at her but she avoided his eyes. He scanned over each of the photos, noticing which ones lacked the mother, then her older brother. Could he be apart from Rumble and not be affected like Casey was? They weren't really brothers but nothing else described their companionship. Why else would they have been made brothers as human? He wondered what it would be like to have memories like Casey had. She was a lucky Decepticon. Soundwave arrived to the same conclusion just as she moved away and dried tears before anyone could see them.

"I know what we can do today."

"Yay!" Rumble slipped off the back of the couch. "What is it?"

Casey turned away from the end table. "This is asking for trouble without a doubt, but I need to go shopping. I don't have enough food to feed you boys for long, and while we're at it I might as well get you a change of clothes and supplies."

Megatron swiftly took charge. "Excellent. Where will we partake in this 'shopping'?"

"There's a WalMart about half a mile from here. We can walk there easily, and whatever we need will most likely be there."

"I have a question," said Starscream, looking uncomfortable. "Why does my butt hurt?"

Casey blinked. Realization hit like a hammer. "Oh dear Primus. What about the rest of you?"

Frenzy shuffled his feet. "Um, actually…"

She hid her face in both hands. "Oh geez. I should have KNOWN." She groaned. "This is… is… is… going to be SO gross." She spat out, ears turning pink.

It took a lot of fussing before they set out for WalMart. First the Decepticons learned the most disgusting part of being human, something nobody enjoyed. There was talk of never eating again until they remembered what hungry stomachs did. Then Casey straightened each of them up and gave them a lesson in personal grooming. Not used to having hair, or clothes, or anything, really, this was also something nobody particularly liked either. Transformers never paid attention to their appearances since it never changed, except those vain enough to care. It was quickly discovered that Starscream was one of those individuals, much to everyone's chagrin. Street etiquette and public behavior was also covered briefly, and lastly Casey insisted that they practice calling each other by their human names.

"It's the whole reason I'd given them to you!" she cried when there was much complaining, and they finally gave in to playing Go Fish. Megatron and Starscream proved they could turn anything into a life-and-death competition but at least they used their human names amid heavy cursing.

Eventually Casey became satisfied that the Decepticons were ready to mingle with the public. She wasn't sure if the public was ready for them, but she could only do so much. While they left the apartment building she prayed to God and Primus and whoever else that might be watching for strength.

She should have prayed for patience.

"What's that?" asked Starscream for the fifteen-millionth time since they had stepped outside.

"A parking meter."

"Is it sentient?"

_WHY does he keep asking that?_ "Only when it wants money. Otherwise it steals souls."

"Really?"

"Yes. Megatron, if you try to attack another semi I swear I'll let it run you over."

He veered back onto the sidewalk. "It's not my fault they look like Prime!"

"The last one wasn't even red. And it's not like you could fight him right now anyway. He'd laugh and step on you. Soundwave, leave the gumball machine alone."

"What's that?" interrupted Starscream.

"A homeless person. Don't stare at him."

They turned the corner. A few blocks down the huge blue and grey WalMart sign was visible. Casey focused on the building, willing it to get up and move closer. Between Starscream's endless questions, Megatron's habit of charging semi trucks (red or not), Soundwave getting distracted by anything shiny or electronic she was mere inches of screaming, running home and hiding in bed forever. She glared at the sky above. Just _who_ decided SHE had to be the one stuck with these goons?

The only Decepticons not giving her a headache, strangely enough, were the Cassetticon twins. They walked along quietly, absorbing everything around them. Casey watched them suspiciously. Maybe they were saving energy. At the next intersection she halted them and pointed to the left.

"Since you're going to want to know this later, listen up. See that green and white sign across the street?"

They leaned over, stretching to see the colors. Megatron checked over his shoulder for any sneaky semis. "What about it?"

"That's where I work. Luckily I'm off today or I wouldn't be able to take care of you boys."

"Oh really?" he made a mental note of the location.

"It's a pet store. You can't miss it when you go by; it's the only store with birds in the windows. So, if I'm ever at work and you need me, that's where I am, a whole ten minutes from home." Casey found herself uncomfortably close to Megatron again. He patted her back.

"Good of you to point that out, Starflight."

She edged away from him. "Like I said, you were going to want to know anyway. Alright, we're almost to WalMart. Everybody remember their names?"

A ragged chorus of "Yes" went up.

"Good. Let's go then, and remember: Don't scare the locals."

Casey politely waved hello to the WalMart greeter by the front door. She wandered over to a row of shopping carts to grab one. She started shoving it past the cash registers, pausing in her tracks when she realized she wasn't being followed. The Decepticons still stood in the doorway, mouths hanging open in awe. She had to grin. _Welcome to the symbol of American Consumerism, boys…_

"Uncle Mike! Guys! C'mon! Time's wasting!"

It took a moment before Megatron reacted to his human name. It helped that Starscream started into another giggle-fit over "Uncle Mike". He shook off amazement and swatted Starscream's shoulder none too gently, pushing him forward.

"Come, _Maverick, _we have shopping to do."

"Lead the way, _Mighty_ Uncle Mike!"

Rumble and Frenzy darted out from behind them to join Casey.

"There's so much stuff here!"

"Yeah! Do hu- er, people really need everything here?"

"Not all of it, no, but some people think they do."

"What's this for?" Frenzy pointed at the shopping cart, kicking one of the wheels that kept squeaking.

"It's for gathering up all the stuff I'll have to buy." Casey winced. This was definitely going to hurt her checkbook. She glanced behind her. Megatron and Starscream were catching up, but… "Uh oh. Boys, go get your father. You're going to have to help me make sure he doesn't take anything apart."

They spotted Soundwave prodding a popcorn machine. Rumble sighed. "I'll get him."

Starscream pried himself out of his leader's painful grasp and sidled up to her. "So _Casey_, where do we start?"

She veered the cart down a left-hand path. "Clothes first, like I explained to you earlier. You need something to change into; otherwise your current clothes will get dirty and stink."

He huffed. "Humans have such trivial restraints."

"Well you're gunna have to live with it for now." She spotted the men's clothing sign and took in a long breath. She'd never had to get anything there before. This was going to be… interesting. She steered the cart between two displays of shirts and headed for the row of jeans. Rumble caught up, dragging Soundwave by the hand. Casey noticed his facial expression and frowned.

"Soun— er, Walker, could you do something for me?"

"Possibly."

"Try smiling, please? You look like you want to kill somebody."

His face twisted up in a resemblance of a smile that would scare all the hair off the Grinch if he had been present. Casey took a hasty step back.

"Okay, never mind, you're scaring me now. Go back to… whatever it was before."

"He was looking completely normal, Star." Frenzy poked at a pile of jeans on the shelf closest to him. "These are some of what we need, right?"

"Right." Casey shoved the cart to one side for room. Then her eyes widened and she smacked her forehead. "Aw slag. I forgot to check what size you boys wear earlier!"

The Decepticons shifted uneasily. Somehow that did not bode well. She scanned the five of them, debating who would be least likely to pound her for what she had to do. She blew a piece of hair out of her face. A mother doing this to her little boy was one thing, but with grown men… Resolving to just get it over with, she marched behind Soundwave.

"Hold still."

His eyebrows jumped over his sunglasses and into his ratty baseball hat when she yanked on the top of his pants. While she read the size tag the others watched him make funny faces.

"This is highly uncomfortable." He croaked.

"Yeah, sorry. Had to be done though. I have your size number now." Casey searched the shelves and pulled a pair of jeans out to toss in the cart. That was one down. "Who's next?"

"I'll take my chances with a guess," said Starscream quickly.

"Me too." Rumble and Frenzy agreed in one voice.

Casey looked to Megatron, who recoiled. "Oh no. I'll save you the trouble." He then proceeded to drop his pants in front of her. Casey squealed and spun away from him, covering her eyes.

"M-Meg— Michael, you don't do that in _public!_"

He exchanged glances with the others, just as puzzled as they were. "Then how are you going to check the size number?"

"You do it! Just hurry up! Or I'll guess, I don't care! Put your pants back on!"

"Why are you so worked up?"

"Why do you THINK, genius? Decency! Remember what I said earlier? You don't do that in public! Hurry up and put them back on before anybody sees you!"

Shrugging, he did so. "I wasn't about to have you do to me whatever you did to Sound—gah, Walker."

"T-that's fine," she took a peek to be sure it was safe. Her face was a bright red. "Just don't do it again."

She estimated the sizes for the rest of them, grateful that the Cassetticon twins wore the same size at least. She told them to do a little exploring to find any shirts they'd wear and she'd buy them two each if they wanted. Not really knowing what they were looking for, the Decepticons gravitated towards favorite colors, or, in some cases, witty sayings.

"Hey Star— eh, Maverick, I found the perfect shirt for you," called Megatron, looking at a long display of t-shirt designs. He tucked the shirts he'd chosen under his arm as Starscream approached.

"What, pray tell?"

He read it aloud. "_'Everybody has the right to be an idiot, but you're abusing the privilege_.' Clever. I should remember that."

"...Haha, very funny Meg- Michael, although I prefer the one that says '_I'd like to help you out… which way did you come in?_'"

"Hey guys, how's it going?" Casey's squeaky cart rolled up beside them. She giggled. "Oh, I've always wanted these kinds of shirts. I love them, but they never make them small enough for me. I see you two have picked something out."

They traded glances at each other's choices but didn't say anything. Soundwave approached with the twins in tow. They dumped their stuff into the cart. Casey checked them over. "Hmm… we might need to have you try these on just to be sure that they fit."

"A waste of time." snorted Megatron. "We don't care what they look like."

"Speak for yourself." snapped Starscream. "If I'm going to have to wear this garbage it had better look good."

Casey coughed loudly before an argument could go into full swing. "To the fitting rooms, then!"

There were only four fitting rooms available when they arrived. Casey sorted out the clothing and carefully explained to them what they had to do. The Cassetticon twins found the idea thoroughly amusing and hurried into their appointed stalls. Starscream took to his stall too, more concerned with his appearance than amused. Casey had to promise Soundwave that they'd go look at shiny electronic things afterwards before he would go. After a long awkward moment she realized she was alone with Megatron.

He shifted from foot to foot, growling. He had an inkling that there was far too much here that he didn't care to or want to understand. This business about clothing? He never cared about such things like appearance or comfort. Amour was permanent. And this girl! Did they realize they kept asking _her_ for guidance instead of him? It was absurd. He should know these things, and HE should be in charge of what they were doing at any given moment. Living in this world as an accursed human was just getting better and better…

"Um, Meg- er, Uncle Mike?"

"What?" he snarled.

"I was wondering, why didn't you tell them I'm human?"

"Isn't it obvious, even to you?"

Casey stared at her hands, effectively silenced by his savage glare of venom. Megatron reigned in his temper, barely.

"Do you really think the others would allow me to utilize your help otherwise? I'd never hear the end of it, especially from Starscream. We can't afford to create trouble here. It's best that they don't know."

"Okay… but I worry they'll figure it out if I slip up."

"Then you'd better not slip, Starflight. It'll make both of our lives easier."

Silence fell between them again. From the stalls some giggles from the twins could be heard. Primus knew what they were doing in there.

"Um, I was also wondering…" Casey trailed off at his annoyed growl, but steeled herself. She couldn't let him intimidate her. "How did you find the others yesterday?"

Megatron leaned on the cart. "After I left you I headed to where I had trespassed into your world and met them coming in my direction. Soundwave had tracked down Rumble, Frenzy and Starscream with his remaining abilities left from his true form. He found me last."

"Wow. So did all of you keep something from your real forms?"

"Affirmative."

She couldn't resist. "Like what?"

He gave her a nasty smirk. "You'll have to find out in time."

"Hey Star!" A sandy-haired head popped out of the fitting rooms. Casey couldn't tell which of the twins it was, but he had pulled his shirt of choice over the top of his current one, and had somehow turned it inside-out in the process. The tag tickled his chin. "Did I do this right?"

"No you didn't. You're supposed to take your old stuff OFF first. Pull it right side out while you're at it."

A collective "Oooh" came up over the other stalls. Megatron held his face in a hand, shaking his head while the mis-dressed twin disappeared back into his stall. "Idiots. All of them."

"Oh admit it; you would have done the same thing."

"I'm not THAT dense!"

Rumble and Frenzy scampered out, waving the new shirts like flags. "We're done!"

"Oh good. Your turn, Uncle Mike."

Starscream emerged just in time to hear the nickname and laugh. "Have a grand time, _Uncle Mike_,"

"Thank you, _Maverick_," Megatron ground out between clenched teeth. He stormed past him into an unoccupied fitting room. Casey flinched when he slammed the door shut.

"You could try being nicer to him," she muttered.

Starscream threw his shirt into the cart, sneering. "Why? It's not like he deserves it."

She sighed. These two would be the death of each other if they weren't careful.

"I think I need to get a smaller shirt Star, I'll go get it." Interrupted Rumble.

"I'll come with you," Frenzy appeared by his side and they dashed off together, laughing.

"Er… Come straight back here you two!"

Starscream's sneer lessened a bit. "Don't think you can keep them out of trouble. We've tried. Only Soundwave can do that."

"I guess, but if they're not here who will keep _him_ out of trouble?"

The aforementioned robot-in-human-disguise exited his fitting room, slipping his sunglasses back on. "Proper garment measurements are satisfactory."

"Good. We'll wait for Michael." She took a moment and prided herself that she'd said it right the first time. She scooted in front of a mirror on the wall and straightened her hair. Dealing with these boys made her look more disheveled than usual.

"Uh, Casey?"

"Yes?"

Megatron cautiously came out of the fitting room. His camouflage shirt had been replaced by a black one and a white button-up shirt with black trim over the top of it, left unbuttoned. He fussed with the collar and ruffled his silver hair. "Did… uh, does this look okay?"

Casey's jaw dropped. "Damn you look good."

He froze. "What did you just say?"

She clamped her hand over her mouth. "Nothing."

"No, you said something. What was it?"

"Nothing important. Honest. I forgot it already."

"No you didn't. You're blushing. Tell me."

"How would you know what that means?"

"Don't change the subject. You're going to tell me what you said."

"You can't make me."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at that challenge. "Now I'll HAVE to make you tell me."

Casey squeaked and backed off. "You can't make me tell you something I forgot. You look fine. Put your old shirt back on." She quickly scurried behind Soundwave to the cart, blushing furiously. Starscream eyed her.

"What was that?"

"Never mind. It doesn't matter. Are the twins back yet? Oh look, uh, gardening supplies! Any of you boys like to garden? La la la!" She tittered on and pushed the cart in a hurry down the aisle, talking to no one in particular.

Soundwave exchanged glances with his fellow Decepticon. "Femmes are strange."

Starscream huffed, scratching at his black hair. "You're telling me. They make less sense than the Autobots do."

They waited for Megatron to finish up before following after her. A few minutes later Rumble and Frenzy arrived on the scene only to find the place empty. Shrugging with a shared smile they set off to find their friends in the opposite direction.

On the way to the electronics Casey stopped to get anything she could think of that the Decepticons might need. While his companions poked around and asked about everything, Megatron watched a small mountain of supplies gather itself into the shopping cart. They honestly needed all of this? Toothbrushes and toothpaste hit the pile. Hair utensils followed them in. He shuddered when the toilet paper pack landed on top of their chosen clothes. He was _not_ looking forward to using that. Casey found a few more blankets and picked out a sleeping bag for Soundwave so he wouldn't have to cram himself into the windowsill again. Somewhere in the midst of this socks and boxers appeared.

Megatron trailed along behind them, his head pounding at the enormity of it all. They needed wax for teeth? Additional coverings to keep warm at night? _More_ clothes? He paused behind the others while Casey tossed two big bottles of aspirin into the cart.

"I know I'll be needing these."

Starscream held up a nicely-wrapped package. "Do we need these too?"

She glanced up and snorted. "No, unless you think you'll want adult diapers."

He fumbled with it and shoved it back on the shelf. "Not really."

"Didn't think so. Hey Uncle Mike, you're awfully quiet back there." Casey steered around a display of giant bouncy balls. "Everything okay?"

He didn't notice Soundwave halting in his tracks and making a beeline for something on the far right. "Huh? Oh… yeah…" He studied his boots with dull eyes.

"Megatron."

He looked up before walking into a display of Tonka Trucks. Fighting annoyance he went to Soundwave's side. "What? You know you're not supposed to call me that here."

"No, It's _Megatron._" He shoved a small box into his leader's hands. "You are a toy. There are others."

He stared at the purple and black lettering that announced the box's occupant to be the "Classics Transformers: Robots in Disguise Decepticon Megatron". He sputtered. "W-what is this? _Star-FLIGHT!_"

Already several aisles away, Casey and Starscream jumped at the mighty roar. The Air Commander blinked. "Whoa. That's how he usually yells for me. What'd you do?"

She realized which section of the store they had just passed. "Uh oh. More like what I didn't tell him."

They found Megatron and Soundwave in the action figures aisle standing in front of a display of Transformers toys. Megatron had worked himself into a furious fit.

"You bellowed?"

He thrust the box at her. "Explain this. Now."

"Here is Starscream." Soundwave gave the toy to its namesake, who took it with some reverence. "I'm… I… have a toy?" He looked at the small package and saw his name clearly printed on the front. His face broke into a huge grin. "I'm a toy! How wonderful! It's about time somebody idolized me!"

"Affirmative. On the toy account. Optimus Prime, Cliffjumper, Bumblebee are also present, among others." Soundwave sighed. "However, I am not." He spotted a shiny array of upcoming Transformers movie toys. "We are well-liked, it seems."

"Well?" demanded Megatron.

"Uh… I told you Transformers were known here. But it's all fake, all made of TV shows, comics and toys. No one knows you're real."

"I couldn't care less about that. Explain to me why MY namesake is painted in such ridiculous colors!"

Starscream gurgled happily. "They got mine right!"

"It's because of some toy gun laws or something. They had to make it so it didn't look too real. That's a new design anyway, and when transformed it doesn't look that bad."

"Megatrons do not follow toy laws! That's absurd." What she said brought his rant to a screeching halt. "And how would you know?"

Casey blushed. "I have a few of these at home."

"Can I have this?" asked Starscream, clutching his toy's package.

"No. Your ego's big enough."

"I'll start asking annoying questions again."

"You're already annoying."

"Hey!"

Megatron ignored him, growling. Him, the Great Megatron, a _toy!_ This world was absolutely twisted. He deserved more respect than that. He was no mere child's play thing. He noticed an Optimus Prime toy and picked up the box, smiling grimly. Having Prime in this size wasn't so bad. In fact, he'd _prefer_ Prime that way. Maybe he could invent something that could shrink the Autobots down to toy size….

Casey hung the Classics Starscream back on the hook, ignoring Starscream's pathetic pout. "We need to keep moving and find the twins before something explodes."

That caught everyone's attention. "They sell explosives here?"

"… No, but I'm betting that wouldn't stop them. Put your toys away Megatron, you can see mine at home."

On the other side of WalMart, Rumble and Frenzy explored the pet supplies aisles. Frenzy pushed up his sunglasses so he could see clearly into the fish tanks. The orange goldfish darted away when he bent to look at them.

"There's a lot of crazy stuff here. Do you think humans eat these too? They're kinda small."

Rumble tapped the glass of another tank. " Nah, I don't think so. Star said humans prefer dead things that don't move."

Frenzy's stomach gurgled. "Aw man, I'm hungry again. Having to eat all the time really bites."

"Maybe there's something here we can have. Star said there's food here too."

"Yeah, that's right. I wonder what it looks like?"

Rumble shrugged. "Dunno. I'm sure we can find something."

They left the fish and traveled down the pet food aisle. Frenzy picked up a dainty can of cat food and shook it, examining the label.

"Uh, bro, do you know how to read human writing?"

Rumble took the can. "Kind of. I read the Sunday comics sometimes." He turned it over and read the side. "It says food…"

"Really? Open it up, I'm starving!"

"But there's a cat on here. I'm not sure this is human food."

"I don't care! Gimme!"

An elderly voice piped up behind the twins. "Excuse me young man,"

They jumped in unison with a yelp and spun around. A petite old lady had somehow approached them without their notice. She carried a basket on one arm. Bird seed treats and a box of Q-tips were piled inside. Her bright eyes got lost when she smiled kindly at them, tipping a worn knit hat.

"That happens to be the food Fluffy likes very much and I can't reach it on that shelf. Would you mind giving me that can?"

"Uh… sure." Rumble handed it over while Frenzy whined.

"But I want it…"

He elbowed his brother in the side, shaking his head. The old lady put the cat food in her basket.

"Thank you dearie." She studied them for a moment. "Are you the young men Casey brought home yesterday?"

They blinked at her. "Yeah, we are." Frenzy answered, nervous. He wanted to shrug off this old withered human but something told him that wouldn't be the thing to do. She chuckled softly.

"I see. Casey would have to get supplies to take care of you boys. She almost never has company, you know."

"Really?"

"Oh heavens no, the poor dear works too hard for that. I try not to worry the way that child goes rushing around like she does. You two make sure to take care of her while you visit. Don't let her bury herself in the books too much."

"Uh… okay." Rumble scratched the back of his head. "Er, we really ought to find her and our friends. Do you know where the hu— er, people food is?"

The old woman laughed. "Oh my, 'people food' is one way to say it. It's all on the far left side of the store, dear. You can't miss it. Please tell Casey Mrs. Peony says hello, would you?"

They nodded together, turning to head in the appointed direction.

"We will."

"Yeah, thanks lady!"

Mrs. Peony waved at them until they disappeared around the corner, chuckling to herself. "What nice boys. Casey sure is lucky."

Casey felt cursed.

Megatron had been sulking since they left the toy section, making him more irritable than usual. Starscream kept babbling about how great it was to be "immortalized" as a toy and wouldn't shut up. More than once she had to get between them before they could fight. If this went on much longer she would knock them both out. Soundwave was currently distracted by a myriad of electronics, leaving her alone with the Terrible Two. Soundwave kept bringing things to ask about too, and although she did her best to explain "human technology" her answers did little to satisfy his curiosity.

"No, I will not buy that for you." She said firmly for the sixth time, and stared forlornly across the store where the food was. _We're almost done, we're almost done…_

"What's that?" asked Starscream, pointing to a display of MP3 players. He hadn't given up on getting her to buy his toy. Casey gritted her teeth and counted to ten. That bottle of aspirin looked really good right now. To chuck at his head.

"Maverick, I swear if you ask that again I'm going to beat you senseless with my left shoe."

"Okay." He picked up a cell phone case and presented it to her. "Identify this object."

She bent down. "Alright, that's it!"

Megatron grumbled to himself, focused on his feet while cursing the nature of his current predicament. Another pair of booted feet ran across his field of vision, bringing his gaze up. He stared at the sight of Starscream being chased around by a girl slinging her shoe at him. _What the slag…? _ As absurd as it was, he resolved not to let the Air Commander forget this incident anytime soon. He watched Casey jump high enough to swat him between the ears.

"Yow!" he yelped, dodging around the DVD racks. She would have marveled at how quickly he moved if she hadn't been so intent on killing him.

"Soundwave, help me!"

He had just emerged from the data storage aisle just in time for Starscream to dive behind him. Casey tried getting at the pest but it was like trying to get around a Redwood tree.

"Coward! Come out and fight like a Decepticon!"

Starscream peeked over Soundwave's shoulder and blew a raspberry at her. Megatron blinked, hardly believing the entire situation. This was… _so ridiculous…_Before he knew it a quiet laugh began.

"Uh, Ma'am?"

"What?" Casey whirled around and came face-to-face with a WalMart employee. He hastily stepped back to avoid the deadly shoe swinging by its strings.

"If you're going to continue, uh, chasing people and making noise, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave."

Her eyes widened and she dropped her weapon of choice. "Right. Sorry."

Megatron's laughter hit a hysterical pitch. _This girl was certainly something else!_

A few minutes later in the grocery aisle a subdued Casey threw apples, potato chips and frozen pizza into the shopping cart. The Decepticons followed along behind, mostly quiet. Occasionally Megatron would start chuckling but she ignored him. She pushed the cart down the frozen food aisles. While picking out a package of burritos she heard a little boy talking to his mother.

"Mommy, can I hide in the freezer too?"

It almost stopped her in mid-motion, but given the weirdness of the day that sounded relatively normal.

"Guys, is there any food you've heard of that you'd be interested in trying?"

They each thought for a minute.

"I've heard about coffee," said Starscream.

"Hmm…" Megatron rubbed his chin. "Spaghetti. It resembles human brains and entrails."

"Marshmallows." droned Soundwave.

Casey blinked. "O-kay. Well Screamer, I can tell you right now that you of all people don't need coffee. Spaghetti and marshmallows, however, are doable."

A panicked scream ripped across the aisles and a few minutes later an irate woman shoved her cart past them.

"What a wicked thing to do!"

Curiosity piqued, Casey steered the squeaky cart around the corner. She gazed at the row of freezers, wondering what the woman saw that warranted a scream. _Just what is going on here? Ooh, green beans!_ She went to open the door when something pressed against the glass beside her and caught her attention. She shrieked and yanked the door open.

"Rumble—Frenzy, whichever one you are, GET OUT of there!"

A frosty sandy-haired teenager tumbled out, grinning. "Hi Star!"

"Don't you "Hi Star" me, where's your brother?"

Ice cold arms wrapped around her from behind. "Right here Baby! Ooo, you're warm!"

"EEE!" She tried prying him off. "Frenzy! Let go, you're cold!"

"I kn-kn-know, but you're nice and warm!"

"Oh for the sake of Primus! _Soundwave!_"

The large man broke away from between his fellow Decepticons and cuffed Frenzy on the ear. "Release her."

"Owww… Oh! You're warm too!"

Soundwave endured a two-way cuddle for a few seconds before shaking the twins off. "Explain yourselves."

Frenzy attempted to attach himself to Casey again, circling the cart several times before catching her. "Well, an old lady told us where the human food was."

"And we figured you guys would get here eventually."

"But we got bored so I got us into the freezers. The lock was easy."

"Yeah, freaking people out was fun." Rumble dumped the shirt he had been carrying into the cart. "Oh, Star, the old lady said she knows you. She says hi."

Casey grimaced as Frenzy snuggled with her a little too closely. "That's nice, but what did I say about scaring the locals?"

They both looked at the floor, sheepish. "Sorry Star…"

"It's… fine. Let's just get out of here."

At checkout Casey forked over a check worth over one hundred and fifty dollars. She felt ill doing so and it did little to improve her mood. The Decepticons noticed this and stayed out of her way while she checked the plastic bags to be sure they hadn't forgotten anything. Well, most of them— Starscream had disappeared by the time they got through and were ready to leave the store. Casey fought the urge to scream and settled for making her noises of intense frustration instead. Weighed down with plastic bags, she gave them to the Cassetticon twins. "Make yourselves useful. I'll find him."

"I'm hungry," muttered Frenzy.

She didn't bother replying and hurried past the registers. Within moments she spotted the tall man in the black fighter pilot's jacket… talking to a skimpy-dressed young woman. Casey felt her blood freeze. _Great, it just HAD to be Silvia again…_ She had pulled him off to the side into a corner by the popcorn machine.

"Maverick!"

He turned and saw her coming, but wasn't fast enough to escape the grab for his ear.

"Ow ow ow!"

"It's time to go home now, buster."

Silvia sputtered. "Hey, we were talking here. Who are you to interrupt?"

"He's NOT for sale. Find another victim. Come along now, Maverick!"

Once outside, everyone and his dog complained about being hungry. Casey grasped for the last threads of her patience and told them that they wouldn't be eating anything until they got home. Starscream dropped the bags he had been so unfairly forced to carry just like everyone else.

"Why didn't you say so?" he said, looking very smug.

"What now?" she ground out.

"We don't have to walk back."

"Oh really? What do you suggest, then, fly? _Beam me up, Scotty?_ I hope you know the guy because I sure don't."

The Decepticons shared devious grins.

"Do it," ordered Megatron.

"Do wha—"

With a flourish Starscream snapped his fingers and suddenly they were inches above the carpeted floor of Casey's living room. She stumbled backwards and landed on her couch, rubbing her eyes.

"Wha- what just happened?"

"Teleported us here, what does it look like? For some reason I have Skywarp's talent." Starscream began digging in the plastic bags until he found a frozen pizza.

"Here. Hurry up Starflight; we're hungry."

"But…" Too dazed to say much else, she took it and went to the kitchen like a zombie. Moments ago they were standing on the sidewalk outside of WalMart and now they were here… _How WEIRD was this going to get?_

On the way home from the store, Little Timmy sat up straight in his car seat and blinked his big blue eyes. He poked the car window with a chubby finger.

"Mommy, dat whole buncha peoples just disappeareded offa the street!"

She sighed. First he wanted to hide in the freezer, now this. "That's nice dear…"

_**To be continued…**_

_Seeing something like that would certainly make you wonder, wouldn't it? Let me know what you think!_


	5. Chapter 5

Lesson in Living

Chapter 5

By Starath

_Author's Note:__ Good grief this took a long time to kick out. Slaggin school, encroaching on writing time… But! I have prevailed! Thankies to Crab again for proofreading and suggestions. I blame some insanity on him. :P Transformers belong to HASBRO, but I have Megatron's shoes so there! xD_

Megatron hit the ground and raised his cannon. "I've got you now, Prime!"

Optimus Prime drew his rifle. "You wish, Megatron. You will never defeat me!"

"We'll see about that!"

A gunfight erupted. The two of them ducked and dodged, trying to gain an upper hand. Optimus dove for cover and peeked out to blast at his mortal enemy. Suddenly Starscream landed behind him.

"Hey Megatron, I have an idea!" he snatched Optimus' rifle and ran away cackling. "Let's play "Keep Away" from the Autobot!"

"Hey, give that back!" whined Optimus.

Megatron ran beside Starscream. "Ahahaha! Keep away, keep away from the Autobot!" he did a merry little dance on the floor.

A large hand reached down and snatched the Classics Megatron toy from Frenzy. "Stop this nonsense. I don't talk like that."

"Aww, but Boss…" Frenzy pouted, watching Megatron set the toy in a regal pose on the end table. "We were just playing. I won your toy fair and square."

"Yeah Boss, that ain't fair." Rumble let the Classics Optimus Prime toy fall face-first onto the carpet. "Who's Prime gunna fight now?"

"He can fight ME!" Starscream walked his Classics namesake over to the Prime toy and aimed the missile launcher on one arm. The plastic projectile bounced off of Prime's head. "Ha! Take that, Autobot!"

Instantly Rumble stood Prime up. "Oh yeah? Little did you know I have extra special head armour! Take this!" The two toys started into a miniature fist fight.

Megatron sighed. "We are the most powerful Decepticons and you're playing with toys on the floor like children. You are a pathetic lot."

"Oh, let them play. They're not hurting anything."

In the kitchen Casey scrubbed the last plate from their afternoon meal. Luckily pizza grease was easily removed, and she thanked her lucky stars it was something they would willingly eat. Dinner was going to be interesting if she made something else for variety.

After they had eaten and put all the stuff from WalMart away, the Decepticons had demanded to see her Transformers toys. She had relinquished a few of them to be played with when they promised to treat the toys nicely. Even though Megatron had completely disagreed with the entire notion of Transformers being toys, she could tell by the way he fussed with his namesake that they were growing on him. Starscream, Rumble and Frenzy couldn't resist putting the Classics toys to war on the carpet. Their shoes provided cover during battle and the beanbag chairs were the Autobot and Decepticon headquarters. In the recliner Soundwave had Tigerhawk, Emissary of the Vok in his lap, half-transformed. Casey dried her hands on a towel, taking in the scene from behind them all. The irony was staggering but it was so… _cute_.

"Need help with Tigerhawk?"

"Negative." Soundwave replied, turning the toy over. He had refused reading the directions for transforming the toy, fascinated by it. "Transformation from robot to beast is much more creative. The idea of Transformers as Earth creatures is astounding in of itself."

"Ha. It would never work," grumbled Megatron.

Starscream's toy was bowled over by an onslaught of invisible gunfire. "Nooo! You cannot defeat me!" cried Starscream, miraculously reviving his smaller self to enter battle once again.

"I'm the good guy! I'm supposed to win for some reason!" declared Rumble, bringing Optimus Prime nose-to-nose with Starscream. Another toy-sized fistfight ensued.

"Boys, if you're going to play rough I'll take them away," warned Casey as she strolled into the living room. They gave her a look of pleading and separated the toys.

"Fine Prime, I'll just shoot you from here!" Starscream let loose both toy missiles.

"Aw, no fair! My ammo is invisible!"

Frenzy chose a flat blue and silver toy shaped like a manta ray out of the toy pile. He read the name printed on its head. "Depth Charge. Eh, doesn't look like much. Is he cool?"

"Oh yes, he's very cool. Be careful with him, he's one of my favorites."

"Transformation complete." announced Soundwave, looking pleased. He set the tiger/bird fusion on his knee.

"Good job. He's a hard one without the instructions."

Rumble started transforming Optimus Prime back into truck mode so he could run Starscream's toy over. "What are we gunna do now, Star?"

Megatron ground his teeth together. He was really, really getting tired of hearing that. He grudgingly scooted over when Casey sat next to him on the couch.

"I've had enough excitement for one day. I have to settle down and do some homework, then after dinner I should go to bed early since I work tomorrow."

"You do? Why?"

" 'Cause money has to come from somewhere or none of us will eat. It's a fact of life."

"We will be on our own tomorrow, then." said Megatron thoughtfully, stroking his chin.

"Since I work from 10 til 5, yeah. But I'll be sure to tell you as much as I can before sleeping tonight."

"I can't imagine what else there is. You've already told us what the items you bought for us are for."

Casey sat back and let out a long breath. "I know, but I don't want to forget anything. There's a lot you boys couldn't know about being human."

A sudden stillness fell in the room. She looked up to find all five of them glaring at her. Megatron's expression scared her the most and she retreated to the opposite end of the couch.

"I… I'm sorry, I know that was really stupid to say—"

"Don't worry about it, Star. It's just that we know." Frenzy set his toy down on the end table and smiled sadly. "We know."

"Which is why we shall have to get to the bottom of this whole…'experience' as soon as possible," said Megatron gravely.

Rumble nodded. "Just give the orders, Boss, we'll get to it."

"I'm thinking about it."

"Oh, it'll be awhile then." Muttered Starscream. He didn't see the pillow whipped at him until it hit him in the face.

That evening Casey finished up cleaning the supper dishes and stood in the kitchen watching the Decepticons. Rumble and Frenzy still played war with the toys, only much quieter now. Megatron sat on the couch staring into space, no doubt contemplating the universe's destruction. Oddly Starscream was quiet too, having retired from the toy war. He kept his small namesake nearby and gazed at nothing with distant eyes. Soundwave sat on the windowsill watching the darkening city below, silent as usual. Casey was grateful they had settled down voluntarily, but it was quiet. Too quiet. She had to go to bed soon since she worked the next day, but it was time to stir things up again.

"You guys need to shower," she announced.

This brought all plotting and horseplay to a grinding halt. Five heads cranked in her direction. What new and disgusting thing did they have to learn _now_?

"Er, whad you say?" asked Frenzy cautiously.

Casey glanced up at the ceiling for inspiration and strength. "You heard me. Each of you need to shower. And don't argue. It's part of being human. You have to keep clean to avoid sickness and maintain hygiene. If you recall, I described to you what shampoo and soap are for earlier today."

Starscream huffed. "Sure, but who said we'd actually _use_ it?"

"I do. You boys are getting pretty smelly after two days of being human, and if you plan on staying here with me you WILL keep clean."

By some miracle none of them protested, although Megatron did not look extremely thrilled. "Very well Starflight, you will show us how to "shower"."

They watched her face light up to a nice dark red. "No… I will describe it to you and you'll have to learn by doing it yourselves."

Megatron tilted his head, amusement replacing displeasure on his face. "And why is this?"

"Because… because showers involve…" Her blush blossomed. "In order to bathe you have to take all your clothes off."

"And that is a problem?"

"YES! It's…. I have no interest in seeing… things."

"Oh, I see. Is this another one of your decency concerns?"

Casey relaxed. "Yes. Exactly. So I'll tell you how to do everything and you'll do it on your own."

"But then how will we know if we're doing as you instructed properly?"

"MEGATRON!"

The Cassetticon twins burst into giggles while Starscream nudged his leader. "She turns funny colors when you make her mad."

He grinned. "I know."

Soundwave slid off the windowsill. "Give me the instructions. I know how it is done. I will show the others."

Casey blinked. "Wait, you do?"

So did everyone else. "Since when?" snapped Starscream.

"Since not too long ago. Starflight, your instructions."

Thoroughly confused, she led Soundwave into the bathroom and educated him in the mechanics of taking a shower. One by one they each had their first shower and all went smoothly…. Except when they discovered getting soap in one's eyes was a very bad idea.

The Decepticons shooed Casey to bed after making promises not to get into anything explosive the next day. Yes, they knew where the phone was, yes, they knew where her cell phone number was posted, no, they would not put silverware into the microwave again. But that was an honest mistake the first time anyway. When she disappeared into her room they settled in for the night. Predictably a few pillows and shoes had to go flying before everyone took the hint.

Rumble and Frenzy were the first to awaken that morning, dragging their shared blanket with them into the kitchen. They sat at the table for awhile, rubbing sleep from their eyes. Frenzy scratched behind his ear, listening to Megatron's loud snoring, Starscream giggling in his sleep, and Soundwave's heavy breathing from the floor where he was stretched out on his sleeping bag. Something was missing.

"Hey, where's Star?"

They looked at each other, panic seeping in through the cracks of sleepiness. Rumble blinked rapidly.

"She… Oh, she had to work." He read the clock on the stove. "It's 10:30. She's at work now, I think."

"Yeah… yeah, you're right." Frenzy yawned widely. He snapped his jaw shut and reached for a piece of paper. "What's this?"

"Hmm? Oh. Let me see." Rumble took it from him and tried to read the curly writing. "It's from Star. It says 'Running late, had to hurry to work. Remember about the phone, and please don't destroy the house.'"

Frenzy grinned sleepily. "Who, us?"

"She knows us too well already." His brother got up hesitantly and left the warmth of the blanket. "Let's see if I can make toast while the fuzz is still in my head."

"Hey bro, make me some too?"

"No way. Make your own."

"The toaster makes two pieces!"

Soundwave awoke to his "sons" squabbling about toast. He jerked upright and glared at them both. The twins yelped in unison and hugged each other for protection.

"You will have toast jammed in your ears if you do not resume silence." Their father rumbled.

"Eh… sorry Dad! He started it!"

"Nuh uh, you did!"

They cried out in fear again when Soundwave stood up and they scurried to the opposite end of the apartment. Soundwave made an effort to follow but ended up staring at the kitchen sink, trying to shake off the effects of sleep. Rumble and Frenzy's frantic scramble woke Starscream and Megatron up. The Decepticon leader sat up and stared at the twins huddled by the front door.

About an hour later the Decepticons assembled in the living room for their reconnaissance mission briefings. Megatron paced in front of them stiffly with his hands behind his back. It forced him not to tear apart yet another set of new clothes, even if he had picked them out himself. They were itchy.

"Decepticons, it is past due for us to know why we are here. Each of you are to go back to the places where you appeared in this accursed world. Inspect it thoroughly. Look for anything unusual or anything that might have importance. Afterwards explore the city in your immediate vicinity. We must know everything we can about this place." He paused. "Starflight seems strained on the issue of money. She may not be able to sustain us for long. Find a job if possible. Return here in four megacycles. I have the spare key, so if you return before me wait for my arrival. Is this understood?"

Rumble and Frenzy threw twin salutes. "You got it!"

"As you command, Megatron." droned Soundwave.

"It's not like it's THAT difficult," grumbled Starscream, who wasn't terribly awake yet.

Megatron transferred his sharp glare to the Air Commander. "That's why I kept it simple just for you, Starscream."

With parting shots delivered, the Decepticons went their separate ways.

Rumble and Frenzy went back to the city park where they had entered this world. Trees and shrubs shrouded the area, so they hadn't been immediately seen. They wandered in and out of the spot, taking note of the tree placement and surrounding objects. They searched everything thoroughly so they could say they did, then decided to explore the street that led the way to WalMart.

Starscream didn't bother walking all the way to his landing site. He teleported there since he remembered the place clearly. It's not like he could forget it, it wasn't every day he found himself falling towards a giant water fountain. Luckily he'd angled himself right and bounced on the top rim before hitting the ground that day. He ignored the panicked screams around him when he popped into existence beside the fountain and straightened his black jacket. _Let the Humans panic. I am no mere Human. _Wearing a devilish smile he walked around the structure and found a little girl there. The girl made a wish and tossed a penny into the water. An odd custom. Did it work? Is that why he was here? The idea was far-fetched but he made note of it.

Soundwave found nothing of great importance when he returned to the place where he'd crossed realities. The lack of evidence to anything troubled him. There had to be _some_ reason why they were here. Although he had no proof he had suspicions. He trudged down the sidewalk, unaware of everything around him until he heard music thumping at the walls of a nearby building. His interest instantly piqued, he went to the entrance and read the sign: _Josie's Night Club_. When the large man at the front door did not let him enter, he settled the matter by throwing the human into the street.

Megatron circled the University parking lot several times, fighting to contain increasing frustration. This place was exactly the same as it had been two days ago, when he'd gone inside the school building and met Casey. He halted in his tracks. That had only been two days ago? It felt like an age, and it was far too long to be human. Even as he accepted it he loathed it, and took his anger out on the concrete wall beside him. It crumbled like Styrofoam under the impact of his fist. He withdrew his hand and wiped off the concrete dust, hissing between his teeth. Maybe the others had found something he hadn't.

Hugging her small purse to her chest, Casey followed her weary feet home from work. She didn't look up until she was at the apartment building's front door and rested her forehead on the cool glass. For awhile she contemplated staying there for the rest of eternity. Home was her safe haven from the world. It didn't feel so safe anymore. Not with five humanized Decepticons crammed into her apartment. It wasn't that they were unruly; they'd actually been behaving themselves. It was just so… _tiring_ to deal with them continuously. Casey could never let her guard down. Transformer or not, they were a team of seasoned warriors, led by the most ruthless warrior of all. Megatron was several handfuls by himself. She could tell he still thought he was in charge, which was understandable, but she was well aware he didn't appreciate it when the others looked to her for guidance. His face always went taunt, his eyes narrowed, that curl of contempt swept across his lips…

Work wasn't safe from them either. Earlier that day the little doorbell of the pet store tinkled merrily, announcing new customers. Casey had looked up from the cash register and nearly had a heart attack. Grinning mischievously with Soundwave behind them, Rumble and Frenzy waved at her from the doorway.

"Hi Baby!" called Frenzy, wearing the biggest smile of them both.

Casey had never wanted to crawl into the cash register drawer before. She wanted to then. With shaking hands she finished counting change for the little boy in front of her.

"There you go Ben, seventy-three cents. Hope your fish enjoy that food."

"Oh, they will! Thank you Casey!" Ben left the check-out aisle and circled around the Decepticons-in-disguise, gazing at Soundwave with wide eyes. He pulled on his shirt.

"Hey Mister, are you a hit man?"

Soundwave stared down at the boy. "Negative."

"Yeah, WE'RE the hit men!" Frenzy pointed at himself and his brother.

Rumble patted the boy's back a little too hard, sending him stumbling towards the door. "So beat it kid, it's not nice staring at people."

The doorbell tinkled again, this time with some alarm. Casey watched Ben run down the sidewalk before glancing back at her new "friends". She checked behind her. Today's coworker was nowhere to be seen like usual. And it was too late to disappear into the register drawer.

"Hi guys, what brings you here?"

Frenzy bounced up to the counter. "We're done with our reconnaissance mission so we wanted to come see you!"

"He wouldn't shut up about it," grumbled Rumble, jerking a thumb at his brother.

Frenzy blew a raspberry at him. "Nyah. So babe, do I get a hug?"

She stepped back so there was plenty of counter between them. "No."

"Aww, but Baby…"

"Stop calling me that!"

Soundwave ignored the imminent chase-and-capture routine and explored the pet store. Casey made a valiant effort to reach him after Frenzy jumped over the counter but he snagged her in a hug before she could get halfway across the room.

"Gotcha!"

"Gaaah! Sound-wave!"

Her cry of aggravation failed to seize his attention. A row of kennels along one wall meowed at him when he approached them. Several paws reached out to beckon him, but it was the white paw he was draw to. Inside, a black cat with one white paw and green eyes pulled his foot back in and offered the other. Soundwave tipped his glasses up to see and stroked the pink pads with a finger. He heaved a massive sigh.

"What's the mater, Dad?" Rumble went to his side, frowning.

"I miss Ravage."

"Yeah, me too. But I bet he's alright."

Casey hobbled over to them, free after sustaining a "long enough hug" from Frenzy. "Aw, he's my favorite one. Do you like him too?"

"Affirmative."

"If you like him Star, why don't you get him?" asked Rumble.

"I don't have $45 to spare on him and all the supplies he'd need. But I would if I could." She dodged around Frenzy's new attempt to hug her and fended him off with her foot. "You've had your hug for today."

"But—"

"No buts or I'll kick yours."

Frenzy had laughed at that and told her he'd be glad to let her try, but she'd declined. Fighting with potential customers wouldn't go over well with her boss, not to mention—

"Dearie, are you going to stand there all day? That door won't open itself, you know."

Casey snapped back to the present, startled. Whirling around she found Mrs. Peony standing behind her, smiling.

"Oh, hi. Didn't hear you coming, you scared me."

"I seem to be doing that a lot lately. My, that's a big mark you've left on the door. What's the matter dear? You look tired."

Casey wiped the smudge clean with the sleeve of her shirt. "I am. Dead tired."

"What from?"

"School. Work. …Stuff," she added in afterthought of the five Decepticons awaiting her return.

Mrs. Peony chuckled softly. "Are those young men giving you trouble? Don't let them shake you, dear."

"Even when one of them thinks he's king of the universe?"

"Especially then."

Casey's shoulders sagged as she let out a long breath. "I'll try." She pulled the door open and let the elder woman pass through first. Mrs. Peony shuffled to her apartment next to the stairs and unlocked her door.

"Any of those boys give you trouble, send them to me and I'll set them straight."

"Okay, I will." She giggled at the thought of Megatron or Starscream being told off by a little old lady. Boy, that would humiliate them for life.

In better spirits she hiked up the stairs, heading for the top floor. At the second floor she eyed the door of #204 at the end, hoping to slip past without being noticed. Instantly furious little yip-yaps erupted from the other side of the door. She froze and cursed under her breath. A man's voice cussed at the dog but the noise didn't stop. Sharp doggy nails scraped at the floor and the high-pitched barking only became louder.

"Dammit Sprat, SHUT UP!" The doorknob turned. "Here, you wanna go out and get them?" The door jerked open. "Go get them!"

A tiny miniature pinser/chihuahua mix raced out like a dart and headed straight for Casey's feet. Sprat circled her, growling and sniffing at her shoes. Sprat's owner, an overweight man wearing a shirt a size too small and green sandals stood in the doorway. He scowled at the young woman.

"Hey Miss Panzer, you mind coming up the stairs a little more quietly? I'm missing "COPS" for this."

Casey edged away from the dog, more annoyed than afraid. Sprat was _not_ going to relieve himself on her leg again. "Sorry Mr. Mortimer."

"Yeah yeah. You know your rent's due in a week, right? You might be in school but late bills don't fly, you hear me?"

She sighed, suddenly feeling utterly tired all over again. How this guy ended up being the landlord she'll never know. "Yes, I know. You'll get my rent on time."

"Good. Hey Sprat, you gunna sniff that chick's shoes all day? Hurry up and piss if you need to. She'll move. Get in here now ya crazy mutt. I'll give you a drink of my beer."

As if by magic the little rat yipped one last time and ran back into the apartment. Immediately the front door slammed shut. Casey stared at it for a moment before turning away, disgusted. One of these days she was going to haul off and punt that dog down the hall. Both of them were absolutely infuriating. He always made it sound like it was her fault, but Mr. Mortimer used any excuse to remind her when the rent was due. Briefly, she wondered if the man would be so impossible while talking to one of the Decepticons.

On the third floor she came to apartment #348 and paused before going in. No one was screaming and no smoke poured out from under the door. At most she heard low conversational tones and a guitar playing. She leaned back, smiling. So they managed to behave themselves after all.

She found most of the Decepticons gathered around the kitchen table. Rumble and Frenzy sat on the living room floor with a guitar between them, separate but obviously attentive to the main group. Everyone looked up at her at once with serious, concentrated expressions. _ Wow, I must have walked into the group meeting_. She started unlacing her shoes by the hallway closet.

"Hi guys." A sudden thought struck her. "Boys, what are you doing with my brother's guitar?"

Predictably Frenzy was the first to brighten. "Hi Baby! We found it in the closet where you have us put our shoes. That case makes a funny noise when it falls over."

"We wanted to see what was inside it," added Rumble, balancing the guitar on his lap.

"Oh. Well, I wish you two would have asked me first. That's special to me so please be careful with it. I'm holding it until Keith comes back from Iraq."

"We will." They chorused together, somehow sounding innocent and sincere. Rumble adjusted the strap on his shoulder. "It's weird, but I think I know how to play this thing even though I've never handled a guitar before." He plucked a string. "Wanna hear me play something?"

Casey grinned and sat down beside them. "Sure."

With a little sliver of his tongue poking out, he wrapped his left hand around the guitar's neck and played a short tune. He fumbled a few notes, playing it several times before he was convinced he had it right. "Well?"

Casey rocked back a little and stared at him. "That's the theme from "Rawhide". You picked it up from _The Blues Brothers_ movie after seeing it only once. Wow."

It was his turn to look amazed. "I thought I had made it up. How could I remember it so well?"

Frenzy shook his head, wearing a very knowing face. "C'mon bro, think about it. We're cassettes in alternate mode. We could probably play back anything we hear. At least you could anyway, I don't know how to do what you just did."

"You think so? Hmm…" He scratched his chin in thought. "Star, do you have a music collection?"

"Yes, of course. I'll sort out some CDs for you two. Who knows? You guys could be your own band!"

Both of them lit up at the thought. Casey went to her room to change clothes and reappeared with a battered portable CD player and a stack of CDs. She suggested a few songs and bands for them to listen to, then left the living room and cautiously approached the kitchen. Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave were deep in conversation and it took a few moments for them to acknowledge her.

"Hi. Whatcha talking about?"

Megatron let out an exasperated sigh that sounded more like a growl. "We are discussing our findings from today's reconnaissance excursions. Unfortunately there is not much to explain why we are here. If there is any reason at all."

"Oh." She leaned on the short wall bordering the kitchen. "May I listen in?"

Automatically the other two Decepticons turned to their leader in askance. He indicated the seat across from Soundwave. "It would be advantageous for you to do so. You are just as much a part of this as we are."

"Well, not necessarily by choice but I know what you mean." She sat down and pinned her hands in her lap, enjoying a short fan-girl moment. _Oh boy I get to sit in on a REAL Decepticon meeting!_ She steadied herself. "What were your recon findings?"

Starscream shook his head. "Nothing much. We were dropped in random places across the city and there seems to be no significance in the locations. Save for Rumble and Frenzy's dropsite there was no cover for our abrupt appearance. We were dumped here and had to immediately deal with the situation. We were given clothing, even primitive chronometer devices. That's it. The only reason we found each other is because Soundwave can still sense familiar energy signatures." He took a breath. "If Megatron had not found you we wouldn't even have any guidance in this situation."

"So you have no idea why the five of you were brought here."

"Right. We don't know HOW we got there either. The transition was made when we were unguarded. I was pulled straight out of the sky while on my way to the _Nemesis_. Soundwave was taken while walking to one of our storage rooms, but Ravage and Buzzsaw were left behind even though he was carrying them. Like Megatron, the Cassetticon twins were taken while in recharge."

Casey rested her chin on her palm. "Well, that shows some intelligent purpose. You were taken while no one else was around and when you weren't in the middle of something." She glanced at Soundwave and looked past her reflection in his sunglasses. "It's like I told you, maybe Primus got bored?"

"That conclusion is still highly unlikely."

"Maybe we really _are_ on a mission from God?" piped up Frenzy, grinning. "Like _The__Blues Brothers _ movie said."

"Primus has nothing to do with this, or that ridiculous movie." snarled Megatron, making a visible effort to keep his temper in control. "All we know that we are here. We know what we have. But we have no directive or purpose as I can see. How we _got_ here remains unknown as well."

"As well as how we're supposed to go back," said Rumble quietly.

"You guys would be a Transformer fan's dream, but I doubt someone wished hard enough for you to be here. Otherwise you'd be with a squeaking fan-girl or drooling fan-boy right now." Casey pointed out.

They shifted uncomfortably at the thought. Megatron voiced their shared feelings. "It is fortunate we found a fellow Decepticon, albeit a nontraditional one."

Soundwave and Starscream nodded in agreement. Bored with watching his brother pick at the guitar strings, Frenzy came into the kitchen and leaned his chin onto Soundwave's shoulder. "Hey Dad, did you tell Star about your new job yet?"

Her eyes widened. "What?"

The large man brushed his son off. "I have acquired an employment position."

She leaned forward. "I kinda figured that. How? Where?"

"Approximately six blocks from here there is an establishment called _Josie's Night Club_. The human at the entrance did not let me enter without an ID, and so I removed him."

"You… threw him out?"

"Affirmative. Inside the bartender spoke to me because I was not familiar to him. After telling him how I had entered he hired me instantly. I am a bouncer for the _Club_ and my first shift is tonight."

Casey fell against the chair, stunned. "Wow. You have a job just like that. It took me forever to find work around here. That's not fair."

Soundwave shrugged, indifferent. Megatron cleared his throat, still upset, but not as much as before. "This additional income will aid you while we're here, at least."

"Yeah, it will. Congratulations Soundwave." Casey thought for a minute. "Did you tell them what you told me the other night regarding your purpose here?"

He hesitated. The others rounded on him.

"Tell us what?" demanded Starscream.

"Now is _not_ the time to withhold information," warned Megatron in a low voice.

In the living room Rumble set the guitar aside and stood next to Frenzy. "Well Dad?"

Soundwave folded his hands together. "I did not want to voice speculation without verification." Even though she couldn't see his eyes Casey felt them on her. "But your point is valid."

She squirmed. "Sorry. I thought you would have told them already."

He gathered his thoughts before speaking again. "We were made human. We were given the essentials for survival: First clothing, then shelter, fuel, and someone to guide us. Although vastly different in some ways, the basics of human behavior are the same to the Cybertronian. We can adapt quickly. We know what we must know already to function properly. The key lies in what we do not know. We are here to gain something additional. Something we could not acquire in our home reality."

Silence fell while everyone contemplated this. "So… we're here to learn something," said Rumble slowly.

"Affirmative."

"And maybe we can't go back until we do?" asked Frenzy, looking pale.

"That is the logical conclusion."

Starscream studied the wood patterns of the table. "But what are we supposed to learn together? Why the five of us?"

"Maybe you were chosen specifically."

The Air Commander eyed Casey. "Why would you say that?"

"Yeah, what makes us so special?" asked Frenzy.

She shrugged. "You guys are the most important Decepticons, aren't you? Maybe you were chosen for a reason."

"But _why_?" Megatron asked, his frustration increasing again. "What could we possibly need to know, from here of all places? We are perfectly efficient at what we do and we have lived for millennia. We have experience and knowledge of all things."

Casey measured her words carefully, but there wasn't a gentle way to say it. "That doesn't mean you know everything."

The Decepticons jerked in response. Megatron growled. "What are you saying, Starflight? Please do elaborate before I give in to the urge to kill."

She swallowed and scooted her chair away from him. "Look, I'm just saying nobody's perfect. Each one of you have your faults and weaknesses, I'm sure."

He scoffed at the thought. "I _have_ no weaknesses."

"Oh, I could think of a few." quipped Starscream, but his smirk gave way to seriousness. "Starflight, are you proposing that our… lessons are individual, based on our flaws? And we are here to learn these lessons?"

"I… guess so. Do you guys have any better explanations?"

Megatron sucked air in between his teeth and ground them together. _This was hardly any explanation at all! Complete nonsense! I don't like this. I don't like it at all. There MUST be something better than this! _ Despite his mental ranting he had to admit, "No."

"It is the best analysis and conclusion for now," said Soundwave, ignoring a hate-filled glare from his leader.

Once again silence overtook the group while they pondered this new development. _What could my lesson possibly be? _They thought, along with _is THAT really why we're here? Isn't there anything better? Will I ever get home? _ Finally, when Frenzy nearly hurt himself thinking too hard he threw up his hands.

"Great. Now what?"

The others looked as happy as Frenzy had sounded. Casey swept a glance over them, noting expressions of those contemplating doom. "We can think about it later. Anybody hungry?"

The concept of food brightened everyone's outlook on life. As it turned out, the Decepticons hadn't eaten anything since breakfast anyway. To appease them, and Megatron specifically, Casey gathered up the appropriate ingredients for making spaghetti. At first they were cautious of this new foodstuff since all they knew was pizza, toast and cold cereal. Of course, learning how to eat spaghetti included a lesson in correct silverware use and the importance of napkins. _Lots_ of napkins. Rumble and Frenzy nearly began a food war by catapulting meatballs across the table with their forks until the others threatened to tie them up with the spaghetti noodles.

About thirty minutes before 8 o'clock Soundwave departed to attend to his new job. Casey gave him the spare key so he could get inside later that night and tried giving him bus fare. Soundwave refused it, and although her concern was noted he would be fine walking home after work.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

"Hey, who's the new guy?"

"I don't know. He just started tonight and won't let me in."

"Where's TJ? He said he'd be working tonight, not this Paul Sr. wannabe."

"Hell if I know man, but this new guy's got to go. We can't bribe him. He turned down _fifty bucks_. All he did was stare at me."

"Maybe we should jump him. He can't take all three of us at once."

Avery checked around the corner of the building. The entrance to _Josie's Night Club _was still there like the last time he looked, and the new behemoth still guarded the door like a trained soldier. He turned back to his friends Grant and Russell, standing in the shadows away from the streetlights.

"I don't think that would go so cool, dude. He'd break us like toothpicks. And we ARE underage."

Russell spat on the ground and kicked a rock in Avery's direction. "No duh. I didn't mean literally, genius. We gotta get in there. School night be damned, I wanna see some action tonight."

Avery kicked the rock back at Russell, who booted it at Grant. Grant watched it ping off his shoe and went at it like a miniature soccer ball. "He wouldn't even say anything after refusing to let me in. I say we mess with him like those dumb English soldiers with the furry hats. If we do it right we could slip in. I bet he moves like a brick, so like hell he'd catch us. Just let me do the talking."

Soundwave watched the approach of three young men with some anticipation. None of it showed. So far this evening had been uneventful, but each of these humans had already bothered him individually. He was a little rusty due to the war with the Autobots, but he had job experience from long ago. He folded his arms across his chest. Let them test their luck as a group.

"'Sup dude?" called the kid with red hair, obviously the ringleader.

"Evening. Found your IDs?"

"Um, yeeeah, about that. We've been here before, man. You can ask around. This is our nightly hangout."

"Without IDs you are not permitted entrance. You are required to prove your age."

The guy laughed and turned to his buddies. "Listen to him! What are you dude, a robot?"

Soundwave said nothing.

"See, now he's just gunna stand there," Grant snapped his fingers in Soundwave's face. He didn't flinch. "C'mon tough guy, do something!"

Avery and Russell got on either side of the new bouncer chanting "do something, do something!" while trying to make him react to fake kicks and punches. He didn't move. Avery swung a little too close and connected a solid punch into Soundwave's upper arm. With a pained yelp he jumped back, cradling his fist.

"OW! Damn! What the hell are you MADE of?" He flapped his hand, convinced something was broken.

Their companion down for the count, Grant and Russell picked up their "Do something" chant and stayed on course to achieving their goal. Russell stepped up to Soundwave's face, or rather, chest, since he was too short.

"Man, what a lame hat! Had it since you were in kin-dee-garten?" he jeered, poking at the raggedy blue baseball hat. "Are you wearing it backwards to be cool?"

He managed to jump up high enough to knock the hat from Soundwave's head. The three friends watched it descend in slow motion until it hit the ground with a sharp _thwack_. They hastily stepped back when Soundwave moved. Slowly, with measured motions, he took off his sunglasses, revealing unnaturally red-brown eyes.

And he _glared_ at them.

The wayward teenagers quickly made themselves scarce.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Only Casey heard Soundwave come home around two-thirty in the morning. Wrapping herself up in a bathrobe she rubbed sleep from her eyes and spotted him in the kitchen. Dim city lights gave her just enough to see him opening and closing cupboards.

"Hey…" she came up beside him. With his sunglasses perched on top of his head, she saw him blink several times. "How was work?"

"Tolerable."

"Looking for something to eat?"

"Uh huh." He let out an enormous yawn while opening the last cupboard. She noticed he hadn't bothered to put back the items he pulled off the other shelves. He rocked backward and grabbed the counter for stability, shaking his head in a forced effort to stay awake.

"Are you okay?"

"I am functioning… fine." Soundwave yawned again. She wondered how the other Decepticons didn't hear it. But then, not much was audible over Megatron's snoring.

"If you say so. Oh, I wanted to ask you something,"

"Hmm?" he reached into the cupboard and removed a box of crackers. Unsatisfied, he let the box hit the countertop.

"How… How did you already know how humans take a shower?"

"Easy. I watched one do it."

Casey tried not to shriek. "You what?"

"Across the street from your window. The curtains were open."

"You didn't…"

"Yup." He rummaged towards the back of the dark cupboard until he found a squishy-feeling bag.

"Um, are you sure you're okay?"

He withdrew an already opened bag of marshmallows and fought to undo the twist-tie. "Hungry. I'm gunna, like, totally consume these now, mm-kay? Thanks…" Stumbling over to his sleeping bag he disappeared below the wall when he sat down. Casey heard the bag crinkle followed by spongy eating sounds. "Mmmm marshmallows…"

She could only blink, her sleepy mind completely confused. "I'm going back to bed now…"

_**To be continued!**_

--

_So! We know why they're here, but what are their lessons? Will they ever get home? What's up with Soundwave and marshmallows? Stay tuned to find out, and thanks for reading! _


	6. Chapter 6 Part One

Lesson in Living

Chapter 6

PART ONE

By Starath

_Author's Note:__ Hi again! Between school, work, the holidays and getting sick, this chapter has been a challenge to get out. Luckily I've had lots of help: A special thanks goes out to Demon Lord Onigawa, maltaras, and of course, Crab. Without you guys I'd still be struggling with this. Also, thanks for your kind comments everyone, they mean more than I can say. Lastly, I don't own Transformers or the two songs in here, "Some Say" by Sum 41 and "Six Foot Town" by Big & Rich. Enjoy!_

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

_Find out we're different somehow_

_It's too late to even have faith_

_Don't think things will ever change_

_You must be dreaming…_

-- "Some Say" by Sum 41

"Man, I can't believe Megatron threw us out."

"He's been awfully grouchy lately."

"More than usual, you mean?"

Frenzy let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Definitely."

Rumble adjusted the guitar case so it would sit more comfortably across his back. "All we were doing was practicing our songs. Star said we could." They paused at the end of a sidewalk, waiting for the signal to tell them it was safe to cross the street. "And he went into a full circuit overload."

"He's been on the edge of one for days. Being human is really getting to him. Good thing Dad's around or it would have been worse than it was."

"Oh, I dunno." Rumble tipped up his sunglasses so he could gaze into a sky full of puffy white clouds. "It's not so bad once you get used to it. Think we'll make any money today?"

The glowing orange hand of the signal changed into a green figure. The twins crossed the street in front of a row of stopped cars. Ahead of them a cobblestone pathway branched away from the sidewalk and into the city park. They followed it and admired the scenery for a moment.

"This ain't Cybertron but it's nice in its own way." commented Frenzy, peering up into some nearby tree branches. "Not including the squirrels." They rounded a bend in the path. "Hey look, there's already some people waiting for us. Heh, maybe we will, bro."

A few people milled around a bench tucked up against a tree. They waved when the twins came into view. Rumble pulled the guitar case off his back and returned the wave. "Star was right, we do have a knack for music. Better to be out here instead of in that stuffy apartment anyway."

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Soundwave gazed forlornly outside and wobbled to keep balance on the windowsill. Last night's shift had been a long one. Even after sleeping until noon he was still groggy. He would have liked to sleep longer if not for the... altercation earlier. He turned his attention to the others in the room. Starscream occupied himself with the TV. Except for the occasional laugh and comment, he kept quiet. The humor of MASH reruns did little to brighten the mood. The scratching of pencil on paper in the kitchen contributed to the noise in the apartment.

Megatron sat brooding in the recliner, staring at the wall in front of him. He dripped tension. His outburst at Rumble and Frenzy had done little to relieve the pressure he contained. Soundwave would have left if he wasn't worried about another display of fury. With Starscream behaving himself there was only one other person Megatron could go after.

Casey sat hunched over a pile of mail, paper, a calculator and her checkbook. After mentioning something about balancing finances she hadn't moved for almost two hours. Already irritable from "that time of month"—whatever that meant— she hadn't handled Megatron's ordering the Cassetticons out very well. For now burying herself in calculations kept her distracted, but from her posture Soundwave could tell she felt the room's tension too.

Megatron suddenly stirred to life. "Starflight, I require refueling. Make me something to eat."

Soundwave held his breath.

"Make something yourself."

Starscream's laugh at Hawkeye Pierce's antics cut itself short. Soundwave shook his head and pulled down his hat like a soldier tightening his helmet.

The recliner squeaked when Megatron sprang up. "What was that?"

"You can do it yourself. I'm busy."

He approached her from behind and slammed his hand down in front of her. She jumped in a solid three inches. Soundwave leaned away from the window and planted both feet on the ground.

"I'm telling _you_ to do it."

She actually brushed his hand off her paperwork. "Good for you. This is more important right now because, for _some_ reason, I'm $150 short of paying rent this month."

"That is no concern of mine. I'll order you if necessary."

"If you want to make an order go to McDonald's. Good luck doing so with no money."

With a vicious sweep of his hand Megatron scattered everything in front of her to the floor. "Nobody talks like that to _me!_"

Casey stood up so abruptly her chair fell backward. "Get used to it. I'm not one of your lackeys."

"So long as I am here you will do as I say."

"Why the hell should I? I am not yours to command."

"I will command whoever I choose! I am Megatron, indisputable leader of the Decepticons." He stepped up to her and peered down with menace. "No one challenges me and _lives_."

She didn't budge an inch. "You mean besides Optimus Prime? Or Starscream?"

Soundwave saw the Air Commander duck below the edge of the couch out of the corner of his sunglasses. He steadied himself against the windowsill, sensitive to the angry emotions radiating from the middle of the kitchen. He sighed. This storm had been brewing too long to stop now.

"Just _what_," Megatron spat out, "makes you think you can say such things to ME? You know nothing!"

"Oh, and I suppose _you_ know everything?"

"Of course I do."

She folded her arms across her chest. "That's why the others come to me asking questions instead of you, right?"

The TV forgotten, Starscream grinned in appreciation of the young woman's boldness. This scenario was too familiar. He watched his leader's face twist in fury.

"You have _no right_ to say that to me, underling." Megatron snarled.

"Why not? It's true." Casey blinked, eyeing him. "Is that what you've been pissed about?"

"That is none of your concern. It would do you well to learn your place while in my presence. You test my patience with your mere existence."

"Yeah yeah. Keep barking, little dog, keep barking."

Soundwave's eyebrows shot over the top of his sunglasses. He exchanged glances with Starscream. They heard Megatron's teeth audibly grind together.

"You insolent creature! You are worth _nothing_ compared to myself and my crew. We are true Decepticons; you are nothing but an imitation."

"Well guess what Megatron, that means squat here." Casey stabbed her finger into his chest to emphasize each word. "I don't care if you're Mary-friggin-Queen-of-Scots. I never knew you as the "Mighty Megatron" so I don't give a DAMN about how tough you OR your Decepticons are! I have busted my ass with work, school, _and_ cleaning up after you goons!"

He backed up to escape the savage poking and attempted to swat her hand away. He missed. "That is what you are best suited for—"

"Do you know WHY I'm short money for rent? I spent money on YOU! For clothes, food, cleaner for the dishes, for the carpet, and everything else you people keep making filthy. And not ONCE have you ever said 'Thank you'!"

"Why should I do such a thing? I am the leader here, not you. You're not the one who gives orders—"

"You couldn't lead a cat out of a paper bag, Megs."

"You—" He stabbed her chest with his finger. "Are garbage and will be treated as s—"

The sharp _snap_ cracked across the room. Megatron fell silent, stunned. His cheek reddened. Casey drew back and clenched her hand into a fist. "Not anymore. Get out."

He blinked. "What?"

"You heard me." Her voice shook. "Get out. All of you. I'm not anybody's garbage. You are no longer welcome here."

Megatron scowled and raised his hand. He stepped forward. "If you think—"

Another hand grabbed his wrist. "Megatron. Enough."

Spinning, he came face-to-face with Soundwave. The larger man held fast when he tried freeing himself. "Release me!"

"Continuing will accomplish nothing."

Breathing hard, his face crimson, Megatron broke free of Soundwave's grasp and stomped toward the front door without looking back. Starscream slid off the couch, following his leader. Soundwave started after him when Casey said,

"Wait."

Starscream and Soundwave turned and saw her open palm.

"I'll take the spare key back."

Megatron made a sound of disgust. "Give it to her, Soundwave."

Casey looked to him expectantly. Soundwave pulled off his baseball cap and plucked the key ring out of his hair. He dropped it in her hand. She stared at it, then at his head while he replaced the hat. He shrugged with a tired sigh.

"I miss my chest compartment."

Moments later the apartment door slammed shut. Casey let out a pent-up breath and dragged her chair upright. She started picking up the bills and paperwork scattered across the floor when she let out a strangled sob. She dropped to her knees.

"Today was supposed to be a happy day," she cried.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Starscream stared up into the sky, hands tucked behind his head. His gaze lingered on a third-floor window with familiar curtains.

"Great. Now what?"

Nobody answered. Soundwave made sure to stand between Starscream and Megatron. It proved difficult due to Megatron's furious pacing back and forth across the sidewalk. Starscream eventually shrugged.

"I must say, Megatron, you've never—"

A hand clamped on his shoulder. He stared at his reflection in Soundwave's sunglasses. A few feet away Megatron had stopped pacing. Murderous intent glittered in his eyes.

"It would be wise for you to keep your thoughts to yourself," advised Soundwave quietly.

Starscream pulled away. "At least it wasn't MY fault for once."

Soundwave intercepted Megatron before his leader could reduce Starscream into a bloody mess on the pavement. "I have need to go to my place of employment."

"Out of my way." snapped Megatron. "Someone needs to DIE."

He didn't move. "I must speak with my supervisor. There are refreshments I can buy for you at the bar."

A long, dangerous silence flitted between them. Starscream scurried nonchalantly behind a tree while he had the chance. Finally, Megatron shoved Soundwave to the side.

"Fine. We'll go. I obviously have no idea what to do anyway."

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

The atmosphere at_ Josie's Night Club_ in the daytime was silent compared to its rambunctious night crowd. A few friends sitting together kept to quiet conversation. The stage in the back of the room took up a third of its space while tables dotted the shining wooden dance floor. Up front, red stools lined up against the bar, waiting for occupants.

Soundwave made sure two of the stools were used before he left Megatron and Starscream to find the Club's owner. He also made sure Megatron had a stiff drink in front of him.

"Whiskey," he had told his leader. "It's not energon but it's close enough."

Megatron could have cared less about what was put in front of him. He poked at the ice cubes with a pretzel stick, a frown creasing his face. How had all this gone wrong? It was that slagging woman's fault. She didn't_ have_ to throw them out—if only she knew her place. Yeah. That was it. He took a cautious drink of the "whiskey". It scorched his throat when he swallowed. It wasn't pleasant but it wasn't uncomfortable either. He felt it hit his stomach, pooling there like the oncoming misery gathering above his head. He stared at the water ring left on the counter from his glass. What were they going to do _now_? Usually full of schemes and next steps, Megatron found himself unable to think of anything. He took another drink.

Whiskey didn't suit Starscream's taste very well. He'd made the mistake of downing half the glass in his first gulp, and now clung to the counter in an effort to reclaim equilibrium. He glanced at Megatron, who was strangely quiet. After what he had just witnessed, a maelstrom of temperament should be showing now. Instead, nothing. Of course, it figured that Megatron could hold his drink and Starscream could not.

A light butterfly's touch fluttered up the arm of Starscream's black jacket. He started, looking up to find himself gazing into dark brown eyes. Clad in a navy-blue outfit and a _Josie's Night Club_ apron, Silvia smiled at him.

"Hey there Maverick," she purred.

Starscream's poise returned in an instant. He flashed his most roguish grin. "Hi Silvia. Nice to see you."

"Indeed." She hopped up onto the stool next to him and gave it a spin. When she came to a stop she rested her elbows on his knees, leaning in nice and close. When he didn't react to the view, she wiggled a little. Still nothing. "What are you doing here?"

He did stare, for a moment. "We… ah, we decided to go out for the day."

"You mean that little twit Casey actually let you out?"

Starscream cringed. "Something like that."

She tapped a glossy-tipped finger to her bottom lip in thought. "I get off work in about twenty minutes. Want to spend the day together?" She slipped off the stool and playfully tugged on his arm. "Please?"

"Oh, absolutely!" He coughed and straightened himself out. "I would love to spend time in your company, Silvia."

She giggled. "You're so cute. I'll come back for you in a bit." She winked and blew him a kiss before strolling away.

Starscream watched her go and let out a content sigh, completely smitten. A sudden prickling on his neck all but killed the good feelings stirring inside his chest. He noticed Megatron staring at him, his eyes promising death for a single misspoken word.

When Soundwave returned to the bar only Megatron was there, playing with the ice cubes left at the bottom of his empty glass.

"Where has Starscream gone?"

Megatron rattled the ice. "I don't care."

Casey slammed the next 10-pound bag of dog food down onto the pile and reached for another.

THUD.

She really shouldn't be doing this heavy lifting, but she needed to do _something_ other than stand at the cash register. Her current mood was not customer service-compatible.

THUD.

"That big JERK. Who does he think he is? Bossing me around like that. God! If I could kick his ass one of these days…."

THUD.

From across the room next to the cat kennels, Kari heard her friend and coworker abusing the dog food. It wasn't like Casey to be so upset about anything. Scanning the row of kennels she was cleaning, she set aside her rag, smiling mischievously.

The dog food sufficiently moved and sworn at, Casey settled for rearranging the cat food cans on the shelf behind her because she felt like it.

"Honestly, I'M the "garbage"? Well screw that! Just because I'm not a Decep—"

A tiny "mew" entered her left ear. Spinning, she came face-to-face with watery green eyes belonging to the black cat with one white paw.

"What the—" she looked beyond the cat's eyes and spotted her friend. "Kari…"

"Oh noes!" cried Kari in a voice much too high and somewhat cat-like. "What's wrong, Casey?" She waved the cat's paws.

"…. Put him back."

"But Casey! Kitty wants to know what's wrong or you'll make him cry, 'boo hoo!'" Kari wiggled the cat's paws in the crying motion.

Casey returned her attention to the perfectly rearranged rows of cat food and put them back to where they were supposed to be. _Why did she have to pick THAT cat to shove in my face?_

"I don't want to talk about it. It's just been a really, really…" she bit her lip as she felt tears coming. "… bad day."

Kari sighed and disappeared to put the white-pawed black cat back into his kennel. When she found Casey again she gave her a half-hug around the shoulder before she could get away.

"Let's see… Whose fault is it? Can I beat 'em up, please?"

"Oh, I wish. You and me both." She paused. "You know those guys I told you about?"

"Sure." Kari tilted her head and smiled her bright shiny smile that looked downright demonic. "Is it their fault? I could hunt them down for you."

"Uh…" Casey shuddered. That smile worked every time. "It's just the one, actually. The others have been behaving okay, aside from eating all my food, but their leader is—"

"Leader?"

Casey halted and swallowed. How to say this? "Ah, yeah. They're…. All in the military, see, except for the twins. Sort of. But the leader thinks he's Lord and Master of everything he touches."

"Oh really?" Kari's voice dropped dangerously low. "After our shift's over in a few hours, wanna go find him?" Her eyebrow twitched.

Casey laughed nervously and pulled out of the hug. "No, that's okay." As mad as she was at Megatron, allowing Kari to rain holy hell on him might not be fair. But then again… "See, since he's from… the military, he's used to being in charge. Only here, he's not, and he's had to listen to me. But it's…. um, complicated."

Kari crossed her arms. "Hmph. Men need to learn their place."

Casey flinched as if struck. "That's pretty much what he told me, plus he used words like "garbage" to boot. He just… he just doesn't care about someone who isn't his equal."

"Ugh. Men are such retards a lot of the time. You know that, right? Like they're from another planet." Kari rolled her eyes and patted Casey's shoulder. "Don't let him get to you, okay?"

"…Yeah," she agreed. "You have no idea."

The little bell tinkled at the front of the store when the door opened. The two friends exchanged glances.

"I'll take care of the register, don't you worry." Said Kari. "And don't forget, we have to do something for your birthday tonight!"

Casey wandered to the back room for some peace and quiet. She thought about Megatron and the Decepticons. They were gone now, but she knew better than to think it was for forever. Yeah. She was 24 years old today. She didn't feel like celebrating.

A couple blocks away, Starscream tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. Silvia's backside disappeared when she turned to face him.

"Walk much?"

He recovered with a hop-skip. "Actually, I'm more used to flying."

She let him catch up and slipped her hand through his arm. "Really? Are you in the Air Force or something? Like your jacket says. I just _love_ military guys."

"Do you now?" he grinned. "Then you've found the right mech… er, man. I'm—" Wait. How could he say this and still impress her? His mind spun its wheels.

"You're what?"

"I'm… ah, a pilot for… Area 51. Yeah. I fly all the super secret stuff, like… special F-15s."

Silvia's dark eyes widened. "No,"

_Way to go Hotshot. She's impressed._ Starscream shrugged. "Yep. I'm on leave right now."

"Wow, that is _so cool_, Maverick."

"Isn't it? But I, ah, can't say any more than that."

"Understandably." Silvia shivered. "Hey Mav, I'm cold. Could I borrow your jacket?"

He glanced at her. _With clothing like that it's no wonder,_ he thought, but his critical indifference melted when she pouted.

"Alright, you can use it." He took it off and draped it over her shoulders.

Silvia giggled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "You're so sweet."

He straightened up so fast he had a head rush, and felt his cheeks warming. "No problem."

They continued to walk side-by-side in silence. It might have been the whiskey from earlier, but Starscream's head was swimming. Femmes weren't exactly common back on Cybertron, so he wasn't around them often. Here he had a human female who completely adored him! _Heh. The girls want me no matter what the species. And what does Megatron have?_ _A whole lot of nothing. _

"What are you smirking at?" asked Silvia.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just thinking."

"About how you're so glad to be with me, right?" she smiled.

"You'd better believe it." _And you're so happy to be with ME. Hope you're having fun with your whiskey glass, Mighty Leader! _

Silvia laughed, then guided him to a sharp right. "Oh! My favorite coffee shop. Fancy that. Let's get something."

Starscream read _Cahoots_ painted on the store window. She paused by the door, and when he didn't open it, tapped her foot.

"What? Can't you be a gentleman?"

"Huh?" He blinked and realized what she wanted. He opened the door for her. "It's been awhile since I've last had to be one," he admitted.

She sighed, a touch of frustration in her voice. "That's okay."

Once inside, Starscream took in his new surroundings by habit of a trained soldier. Indian rugs hung on the walls, and mobiles made of glass beads and wire dangled down from the ceiling. A worker in a dark outfit waited patiently by the bar for their order. Convinced there was nothing to harm him, he allowed Silvia to lead him to the long counter.

"Do you want anything?" she asked.

He scanned the chalkboards lining the back wall and found no meaning from phrases like "ice coffee mocha special". Peculiar smells assaulted his nose. Coffee was something Casey said he shouldn't have but had neglected to explain why.

"No thanks."

Silvia shrugged. "Suit yourself." She traced a line up and down his shirt. "Buy me something?"

He sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "I have no currency."

"No money!" She exclaimed, her sweet expression going sour. She stomped to the counter. The worker waiting there hastily backed off. He looked to Starscream, who shrugged, confused. No matter the species, females rarely made sense.

Soundwave positioned himself between Megatron and the street again. There was no sense in letting him dent another car he decided to kick. Shoulders hunched, hands jammed in his pockets, his leader hadn't said a thing since they left _Josie's Night Club_ and began this aimless walk through the neighborhood. Although concerned with their current shelter-less situation, Soundwave knew better than to say anything until spoken to first. Having Megatron quietly simmer instead of howling in anger was unsettling, though. Something had changed in his commander, but he had no idea what.

Suddenly Megatron halted in his tracks and leaned against a light post, resting his head against it with a soft _clang_. The sunlight made his silver hair almost white. He rubbed his dark eyebrows, weary.

"We have nowhere to go, Soundwave." He said, bumping his head against the post again. "I thought, maybe, if I walked long enough I could think of something. I can't. There is too much working against me."

Soundwave folded his arms against his chest, listening like he had for so many years.

"She's nothing. We shouldn't need her. But I did not know what that red light meant, you did, and stopped me from getting run over." Megatron's voice hardened. "By a semi, no less." He threw his hands up. "I don't know what to do. I just don't. –Delete that. I want to kill whoever did this to us."

"We need to return to Starflight's apartment," ventured Soundwave.

"Ha!" Megatron spat on the ground. "After the things she said to me? After she tossed us out? Why on Cybertron, or better yet, on _this_ forsaken planet, do you propose we do that?"

A cheerful voice broke the conversation. "Excuse me,"

They both jumped, and faced the store they had stopped in front of. Cute stuffed animals lined the windowsills. Flowers of all colors were stuffed inside the small place and nearly fell out in the street. In the doorway, a young woman in a blue dress giggled and waved at them. Her nametag read "Mary", the owner of the flower shop.

"What?" snapped Megatron.

Amazingly, her smile was unphased by his hostility. "I couldn't help overhearing you, sir. You upset a young lady, didn't you?"

"Yeah? What of it?"

Mary giggled again and winked at Megatron. "Typical man in the doghouse. The best way out is to apologize. And buy a present."

"Like what? Your smelly plants? That white toy?" He pushed away from the pole, turned an about-face and stalked down the street. "She isn't worth it. Come, _Walker_, let us find Maverick."

Mary let out a low whistle and looked to Soundwave. "Stubborn, isn't he?"

Soundwave sighed and followed after his leader. "You do not know the half of it."

Mary waved after him. "Good luck, fellas!"

---

_To be continued in Part two…_


	7. Chapter 6 Part Two

Lesson in Living

Chapter 6

PART TWO

By Starath

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Six o'clock couldn't come fast enough. Between fussy customers, missing inventory and an aching back, Casey was ready to scream. Finally, after giving the last patron a fake smile accompanied with "Have a nice day!" she pulled her nametag off and stuffed it in her pocket.

"Kari, I'm gunna bail!" she called, hurrying to the back of the store where the storage lockers stood.

"Early?" Her friend squawked, trying to place a wily chameleon back in his glass terrarium.

Casey reappeared with her purse and coat. "Only by five minutes. Can you handle Henry?"

Kari pried the chameleon's tail off of her wrist. "He's especially clingy today. Can't believe they made me take him out just so they could decide they didn't want him."

"Occupational hazard. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah— hey, we're partying later, right?"

"I don't feel like it tonight."

"Come on, you only have one birthday a year!"

"I know, but honestly, I'd rather be alone."

Kari eased Henry onto a branch and let him walk onto it before withdrawing her hand and snapping the lid shut. She shook a finger at her friend. "You never do anything fun. I'm coming by later, you hear me? Don't go anywhere without me when you get home. I've got a few things to finish up so I'll catch you later."

As glad as Casey was to be done with work, she wasn't thrilled to be going home. Did Megatron dare show his face there? _Most definitely,_ she decided, _full of more demands and insults to hurl in my face. Ungrateful jerk._

Casey bypassed her usual route home and strolled through the park. Away from busy cars and people, she listened to the quiet rustle of wind through the trees. She paused on the cobblestone path and enjoyed the shade that danced around her feet. In the silent moment, she picked up faint singing coming from down the path. She strained to hear it. Twin voices drifted with the breeze with the strum of a guitar. She gasped softly and hurried through the park.

When she rounded a bend in the path, she saw a small group of people standing in front of a park bench. The Cassetticon twins sat there; the center of attention. Rumble and Frenzy sang together in perfect harmony:

"Sometimes I get crazy and it makes a big scene, but when I hit twenty-one I wanna stand up and scream: I'm filthy rich with laughter, I'm too big for the room, you know from two stories up, a zenith makes a big boom!"

It's hard to get around in a six-foot town when you're ten feet tall everything's SO small…I'm always bumpin' my head, I'm way too long for the bed, yeah, it's hard to get around in a six-foot town…."

Casey leaned against a tree and giggled. So they had taken her musical advice seriously. Judging by the attentive onlookers and the small pile of money in the open guitar case, they were doing well. On the last chorus to "Six Foot Town" Rumble's voice broke away from his brother's and they sang alternating lines, blending back together to finish the last phrases of the song. The small crowd responded with enthusiastic clapping.

She joined in and waved to catch Frenzy's attention. He spotted her and waved back, nudging Rumble in the ribs to point her out. Thanking the crowd, they put the guitar away, shook hands with people and hurried toward her. Frenzy ran full tilt at Casey. She squeaked and attempted to keep the tree between them.

"Baby! Hi!" Dodging quickly to one side, he caught her and squeezed her in a tight hug. "You came to see me, didn't you?"

Rumble approached them and rapped his brother on the head with his free hand. "She can't breathe, moron."

He instantly let go. "Oops! Sorry!"

Casey took a moment to regain her breath. "Hi guys. So this is what you've been doing in the afternoons?"

"Yup! Did you hear us sing?" asked Frenzy.

"Yes I did! You two sound great together. You're even making a little money, I saw."

"Yeah… That was kinda by accident," admitted Frenzy. "We left the guitar case open the other day and people kept putting stuff in it. We didn't realize what it was til we asked someone."

"It confused the slag out of the guy!"

Casey couldn't help smiling back at the twins and their happy grins. These two were worth any trouble they caused. Not that she'd tell them that.

"So are you done with work?" asked Rumble.

Frenzy nodded, eager. "We ought to get back to see the Boss. We'll walk with you home."

Her amusement died. She took a step back. "He won't be there." She could see them blink behind their sunglasses.

"Why not?" asked Frenzy quietly.

She dropped her gaze to the path and kicked at a loose rock. After a moment she told them what had happened earlier that day. When she finished, Rumble set the guitar case down and leaned on it.

"Star, you gotta know that's the way Megatron is," he said. "Harsh or cruel as he may be."

"Yeah." Frenzy agreed. "He's used to getting what he wants all the time. Back home…" he paused when the phrase tasted odd, "Back home he's the absolute authority. Nobody argues with him. Except Starscream. You're very lucky he didn't hurt you."

"That doesn't mean he can insult me in my own home." Casey snapped. "Not when I've spent all the time and effort trying to take care of you guys. I mean, you two are fine. You have more manners than he does. But I can't keep taking care of you guys out of expense of my finances and good will when I get treated like that. He ruined my birthday, too. Authority or not, going around expecting to be treated like God gets nothing from me."

"He's never been subtle, Star. Especially while upset. Decepticons hardly are." Frenzy thought for a second. "Besides Dad. And you. You're the nicest 'Con we've ever met."

She closed her eyes and willed her face to express no emotion. "Thank you for saying so."

"Um, does this mean we can't come home with you?" asked Rumble.

She took in a long, slow breath and looked away from their hopeful faces. "I don't know yet."

They visibly sagged. "Maybe we should find the others, then." said Rumble, hefting the guitar case onto his back.

Casey flinched at his tone. "Yeah. Make sure they're okay. I'm going home."

Frenzy stepped out of her way and patted her shoulder. "Hopefully we'll see you later. Don't worry about us, Star."

"Okay. Just… Take care," she said, forcing a smile for them.

The Cassetticon twins watched Casey disappear down the cobblestone pathway. Frenzy adjusted his sunglasses, then, in a burst of anger, hurled his fist into the nearby tree trunk.

"It can't be like this. We need her." He pulled his fist out and brushed off wooden shards. He picked a splinter out of his thumb. "We have to do something, bro."

"I can feel Dad near our position." said Rumble with a distant look on his face. "Most likely the others are with him. We can try talking to Megatron, but at present, I don't know what to do."

Frenzy instantly brightened. "That's it!"

Rumble frowned. "Huh? Whoa—Frenzy!"

"I know what we can do!" he cried, dragging his brother along with him in the opposite direction Casey had gone.

Kari heard the front door squeak open and the little bell above it rang cheerfully.

"Hey, can you get that?" called her coworker, Robert, from the back room. "I'll let you go early next time."

She blew a strand of stray hair out of her face. With Robert's penchant for being late, that was highly unlikely: He was the reason she was still here to begin with. Pasting on her happiest "how may I help you?" smile, she went to the cash register. And stopped. Two identical twins chattered back and forth to each other in front of the cat kennels. One carried a guitar on his back. Both wore sunglasses almost too big for their faces. Casey's descriptions fit.

Rumble didn't know it happened. One moment he was arguing with his brother about cost, the next, he had the most horrendous pain in his ear.

"Owowowow!"

His sunglasses hit the floor and he saw a young woman and Frenzy. She had one twisted ear in each hand.

"Are_ you_ the ones who upset Casey?" she demanded with a frighteningly demonic expression.

"OwowOW! No, it's not us!" yelped Frenzy.

"Yeah, we're her friends. We want to get her something!"

Instantly Kari released them and eyed the object they had been debating about. "Really, now?"

Once again Casey followed her feet home from work, but this time with her head up and eyes alert to any movement. Primus knew where the Decepticons were now, and she wasn't about to let them jump her from a dark alleyway. She felt a pang of guilt over abandoning the twins in the park. She tried walking faster to outrun it. She thought of them like rambunctious little brothers she never had. It wasn't fair to deny them shelter when they hadn't done anything wrong. Still, a Decepticon was a Decepticon, no matter how loveably annoying they were.

She saw nothing but a stray dog on the way home. The tension in her shoulders had just started to ebb away when she reached the glass doors of the apartment building's lobby. The setting sun's glare off the glass ruined her vision until she stepped indoors.

Only by sheer will did she stay in the lobby without running back outside.

Soundwave leaned against the far wall. His gaze pinned her where she stood. Megatron abruptly halted in his constant pacing that had almost worn a furrow into the carpet. He approached her.

"Starflight—"

"NO," she thundered, and pushed past him to the stairwell. Behind her Megatron swore in a language never heard before on Earth.

"If you would just listen—"

She spun to face him. "The answer is NO. You had your shot and you blew it."

"But we haven't anywhere to go!"

"Tough. Find somewhere else to live."

He swore again. "You are not being logical, Starflight. Your assistance is required."

"Is it?" She stepped up two stairs to lessen the height difference between them. "You can _shove_ your 'requirements'. I don't help anybody who doesn't respect me. Do _you_?"

His mouth worked open and closed. Casey scoffed.

"Didn't think so. _That's_ your problem, Megatron; you don't give a damn about anybody who isn't equal to you. Oh, sure, you need _me_, but guess what? I don't need _you_."

Megatron's jaw locked shut. Dangerous lightning sparked in his eyes. Casey stared him down with both hands on her hips.

"Go ahead. Tell me who you _really_ are and why I'm less than dirt. It won't help you. I am willing to give you any amount of respect you give me, but since you are incapable of doing so, you're screwed. By the way, thanks for ruining my birthday. Now get out of here or I'll call the police."

When his fierce glare didn't subdue her, Megatron turned away and let out an outburst of derogatory Cybertronian. Soundwave flinched visibly, understanding each word clearly. It had been a long time since he'd heard his leader swear like that. Briefly he thanked any higher beings for not allowing Megatron keep his fusion cannon on this journey. He then cocked his head and zeroed in on an energy signature from across the street. He pulled a hand over his face with a weary sigh. Terrific timing.

Moments later Starscream opened the door for Silvia and came in after her. He took in the scene: Casey on the stairs, Megatron absolutely furious, and Soundwave against the wall looking completely bored as usual.

"Starscream! Where have you been?" barked Megatron, not caring about names.

Beside him, Silvia snorted. "He was with me. What's it to you, asshole?"

Starscream nearly dropped dead from the look Megatron threw at them. "Do you let a woman speak for you now?"

"Hey, get out of the Dark Ages. I'll talk for—"

"Eh heh, Silvia, please." Starscream silenced her with a squeeze on her shoulder. "Don't worry about him. I think you ought to just go."

"What?" She pouted. "You aren't going to walk me to my door?"

Casey choked.

"Maybe some other time," he said quickly. "I'd better stay here for now."

She huffed, shrugging off his black jacket, handing it to him like a used tissue. "Fine, be that way." When he took the jacket, she pulled him down by the shirt and kissed him on the lips. "I'll see you later, Maverick."

Absolute silence filled the lobby until Silvia reached the stairs.

"I leave you to your freak show," she said to Casey, motioning her out of the way.

Starscream sighed with a dopey grin. Soundwave face-palmed and groaned. Casey jumped down from the steps and stormed toward Starscream with Megatron right beside her.

"What—the—HELL?" they exploded together. And traded confused glances.

"I learned it from you!" Megatron spat.

"At least that curse was understandable!" she shot back.

Soundwave felt two other familiar energy signatures approaching. His "sons" were incredibly happy about something. _Now what?_ He thought, and stared at the ceiling for answers.

Kari appeared in the glass doors carrying a handled crate. She held the door open. Rumble and Frenzy stumbled in, their arms full with shopping bags.

"Hi everyone!" chirped Kari, and bounced up to Casey. She giggled. "We brought a present for you!"

"Happy birthday, Baby!" called Frenzy from behind the huge bags of cat food and kitty litter he was carrying.

"Um… thanks?" she said, bewildered. "But I don't use Tidy Cat. I'm potty trained."

Rumble rested the shopping bags on the floor and adjusted the guitar case on his back. "Not for you, Star. It's for your new friend!"

A tiny smile creased Soundwave's face. _Smart boys_.

"My what?"

Kari held up the crate so they could see inside. "Does he look familiar?"

A white paw reached out to her. Casey gasped. "You… bought me the cat?"

"Weeeell," Kari nodded toward the twins. "They did. I helped."

"You…? They…? OMIGOD!" Casey squealed and enveloped Kari in a hug. "I've wanted him since I first saw him! Thank you!"

Frenzy tried looking around the bag of cat food. He felt his knees buckle. "Um, Star? Could we go upstairs now? This stuff is heavy…"

At her door, Casey fussed with her key and had the front door open in record time, too excited to notice when Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave discreetly walked in at the back of the group. One floor down, a crabby man's voice cried,

"Is that you, Miss Panzer? Stop all that racket!"

Kari frowned. "Who's that?"

Casey danced a little, throwing her purse and shoes into the closet. "Just the landlord. I still need to pay him rent. But I don't care! I have a real cat!" she squealed again.

Soundwave approached her. "Casey. About your rent—"

"How did you—?" She spotted Megatron and Starscream. "Oh no, out you three—"

"Casey." Soundwave blocked her view. "You may reconsider your position shortly. Bring your checkbook."

His tone warranted no argument. She did as she was told and followed him out.

The door swung shut. A huge _THUD_ made everyone jump when Frenzy let the cat food and kitty litter bags hit the kitchen table. He sank into a chair. "Sorry."

Kari set the cat carrier on the table and looked over the remaining men.

"So," she said cheerfully, with a smile that made them shudder. "If it wasn't the twins that did it, which one of you upset Casey?"

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

"Soundwave? Care to tell me what you're up to?" Casey bounced down the stairs behind the broad-shouldered man, puzzled over why she had listened to him in the first place. When they stepped on the second floor, he glanced over his shoulder at her.

"How much rent can you pay comfortably?"

"Ideally?" she studied the flowery-patterned cover of her checkbook. "I owe $700, but with you guys around I really shouldn't let go of any more than $550. Why?"

"Contact your landlord. It's doable."

Casey pointed to the door closest to them. "Actually, we're—"

Dog toenails raced across the hard floor of apartment #204. Hyper little barks stormed out from under the door.

"… Standing right next to it. Um, hi, Mr. Mortimer? It's Casey!"

"SPRAT! SHUT IT! I swear to God!" Mr. Mortimer jerked the door open. "Whaddya want?"

Sprat came racing out, took one look at Soundwave's impressive boots, yipped, and ran back inside. Mr. Mortimer's jaw dropped.

"Um, hi, I'm here to give you rent." Said Casey, reveling in the man's sudden fondness for silence. "This is Walker. He's one of the guys staying with me."

Soundwave folded his arms, to show off, a little. "Greetings."

"Ah… H-hi," Mr. Mortimer managed to say.

Casey wrote a check for $550 and handed it to her landlord. He took it without blinking, his eyes locked on Soundwave's overly large biceps. Finally he looked at the check.

"You're short," he said, irritation overriding fear.

"I will cover the rest." Soundwave withdrew a wad of rolled-up bills from his pants pocket and counted off the money. "One-hundred and fifty dollars to complete rent payment. Her debt is paid."

Mr. Mortimer hesitantly reached for the money. Once he had it, he backed into his apartment. "T-thanks! Nice doing business with you!"

His door slammed shut with a _BANG!_ And the locks quickly slid home.

Casey stared at the tarnished gold numbers of 204, hardly daring to breathe. She eventually took a gulp of air and dashed to the stairs.

"That was so freaking AWESOME!"

A heavy arm blocked the stairwell. Casey nearly close-lined herself on it and fell backward against the wall. Soundwave towered over her.

"I want you to know that was not an act of charity," he said softly. "You needed assistance with rent. We need a place to stay. Forget your quarrel with Megatron."

Casey swallowed but held her ground. "Yeah, fine. You earned your keep for _now_."

He removed his sunglasses, revealing narrowed red-brown eyes. "I also want you to know, I am aware of your lie."

"My what?"

"You are not a Decepticon."

She tried laughing. "Now, come on—"

"Megatron did not say it this morning, but he did not have to. You are human and that is what infuriates him the most about needing your help. To ensure our cooperation he propagated your lie. Anyone with half a processor can tell you are not one of us."

Casey tried to make a joke. "Even Starscream?"

"Starscream does not use half his processor. The rest is for ego." Soundwave paused. "The twins are too involved in this adventure to notice, but I have. Fortunately for you, I see the logic in believing your lie."

"I think you're jumping to conclusions, Soundwave."

"Am I?" he leaned down to her face. "No Decepticon, no matter HOW long they've been undercover, would speak to Megatron that way."

"Well maybe—"

"And unlike my Decepticon brethren, you have no energy signature I can sense."

"Oh…" Casey said, and couldn't breathe again.

"I will use my employment payment to assist with financial costs while we are here. Do not speak to my commander with disrespect again or you forfeit everything."

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Kari practically pounced on Casey when they got back to the apartment. She gave her a tight hug, then caught a good look at her friend's pale face.

"Are you okay?"

Casey nodded too slowly, as if coming out of shock. She stiffened when Soundwave moved past her to his spot on the windowsill. "Yeah."

Kari didn't believe her. She made a mental note to talk to the big guy they called "Walker". She turned Casey away and motioned to Megatron, who looked uncharacteristically nervous.

"Mr. Beefcakes has something to say to you."

"It's Michael," Megatron corrected, and resisted the urge to pound Starscream for giggling.

"He's more like Mr. Evil Eyebrows." Casey said, ignoring his growl. "What is it, _Uncle_ Mike?"

"I… ah," he clenched his teeth, kicked at the table leg, and found his tongue when Kari smiled cheerfully at him. "I apologize," he blurted, shooting an "are-you-happy-now?" look at Kari.

Casey couldn't begin to imagine what her friend had threatened to make him say that much. But those words, although obviously insincere, were as good as she was going to get from him. "Very well, I accept your apology. You boys can stay."

The Decepticons, Soundwave excluded, let out a pent-up sigh of relief. Casey made sure not to make eye contact with him.

Kari's frighteningly sweet smile became a pleasant grin. "I think you can let your new kitty out now, Casey."

"Oh yeah!" Casey undid the latch to the cat carrier and pulled out a black cat with one white paw. "Hello there," she said, pressing him to her shoulder and snuggling her face in his silky fur. "I'm so glad you came to live with me."

"What are you going to name him, Star?" asked Frenzy.

"Well," she thought a moment. "You all know my love for Transformers."

"We never knew," said Starscream dryly.

Casey held the cat up and gazed into his green eyes. "I think your name is Ravage, my very own Deceptikitty."

"How fitting." Megatron mused aloud, and shut up when Kari glared at him.

_**To be continued!**_

---

_And so crisis is averted, for now… What could be next for our friends? Only time will tell. Thanks for reading, we'll see you in Chapter 7!_


	8. Chapter 7 Part One

Lesson in Living

Chapter 7

PART ONE

By Starath

_Author's Note:_ _At long last, I rise again! For some reason big life changes have called me back to this story, and I found I could pick up right where I left off. Hopefully that continues for a long time! Since I've been gone so long, I thought I'd give you guys an extra long chapter, split up cuz it contains so much awesomeness. Thanks for reading! Important stuff: I don't own "Bad Boy" by Cascada, Kari and Stephan belong to DLO, and thanks to Crab for teaching me how to make macaroni and cheese…_

The vacuum hummed across the floor, picking up dirt and a new layer of fine cat hair. Casey pulled it back and forth in time with the music she listened to on her MP3 player.

"No, I don't need you again…"

She twirled, expertly tugging the vacuum's cord with her. She nudged the twin, now very-well-used beanbag chairs with her foot to get them away from the wall. On top of the refrigerator, Ravage surveyed the scene with obvious distaste.

"You never thought that a girl could be stroooong, now I'll show you how to go oooon…"

Casey booted the beanbag chairs back into place, singing merrily, pleased to finally clean her apartment. She didn't hear the front door slam shut.

"Be my bad boy, be my man, be my weekend lover but don't be my friend—" She twirled to backtrack beside the couch. "You can be my bad boy, but ---EEEEK!"

All five Decepticons stood in the formerly empty entryway, grinning. Frenzy peeked out from behind Megatron.

"I'll be your bad boy anytime you want, Star!"

Her face flushed to the shade of a good sunburn. She yanked out her earbuds and flipped the switch on the vacuum. Its continuous hum halted, and in the quiet she heard mischievous giggling.

"I don't need one, thank you."

"Are you sure?" Frenzy asked.

"Absolutely." She caught Megatron's wide, evil grin and glared at him, instantly irritated by such a smug look. "What? Stop grinning like that. Your face will stick."

Instantly everyone's smiles vanished. They scattered across the apartment to their chosen places to crash.

"Would it really stick?" asked Starscream, taking his place on the couch. He slouched into perfect couch potato position.

"Yes," Casey said, noticing Megatron's amused expression. _Anything to get him to stop smiling!_ She growled. "And for the sake of Primus, take your shoes off! I just vacuumed! Who knows where you boys have been."

Rumble and Frenzy plopped down side by side in front of the closet, laughing together. They unlaced their shoes.

"You're awfully defensive, Star," commented Rumble.

"So what?"

"Are you _sure_ you don't want a 'bad boy'?"

They were all grinning again. Apparently they couldn't be fooled this time. _Damn!_ Desperate to hide her blush, she all but threw the vacuum into the closet and ran into the bathroom.

Starscream cackled with glee and made room for Megatron when he sat down on the couch too.

"It's a shame we can't mess with her back in our world."

Megatron chuckled at the thought. "Isn't it? Oh, the things we could—"

A sudden melodic tone interrupted him. He jerked, startled, and got up to investigate the source of the sound. He followed the highly annoying melody to a small electronic device on the kitchen table: Casey's cell phone. He hesitated, then reached for it. What was the harm in answering it?

Casey emerged from the bathroom after any trace of her blush was gone. How embarrassing to be caught like that, singing THAT song of all possibilities! A black lump threw itself down at her feet with a furry _thud _and meowed. She squeaked with happiness.

"Ravage! Are you all better now that the scary vacuum went away?" she scratched behind his ears and picked him up for a good cuddle. To her left, the TV clicked on. Starscream had the remote like usual. The twins were already on the floor in front of the TV, drawn to its glow like a pair of moths. Soundwave had tucked himself on the windowsill again, and Megatron…

The man looked absolutely horrified.

"Megatron? Are you okay?"

He had something in his hand. Ravage climbed up on her shoulder as Casey approached him.

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't mean it." He blurted. "I didn't think…"

Casey froze. "What. Did. You. Do?"

He revealed the cell phone. She snatched it from him. "You answered my phone, which I said NOT to do, and you…" she checked the 'received calls' record. "Bryan? You talked to _Bryan?_ Oh great!"

Starscream twisted around, eager to see what kind of trouble his leader had gotten into now. The twins popped up off the floor and rested their chins on the couch's edge.

"Is that bad?" asked Frenzy.

"Yes, and this is exactly WHY I said not to answer my phone!" She folded her arms and Ravage helped her glare at him. "He knew who you were, didn't he?"

He swallowed. "Affirmative. But I didn't know—"

"You _couldn't_ have known; that's why I created that rule! Bryan is a big Transformers fan," Casey explained. "He knows practically everything about… us, or at least what that show says."

The room became very quiet.

"Oh," said Starscream, no longer enjoying the situation.

"Yeah. Now you know." Casey stomped down to her room. "Hang on. Maybe I can do some damage control." She brushed the cat off her shoulder. "Ravage, go see Soundwave. You smell funny."

Casey paced in a circle while the phone rang. It clicked.

"Bryan's Crab Emporium."

"Bryan! I… uh, sorry I missed your call, my Uncle Mike—"

The young man's low voice interrupted her with a bark of laughter. "Girl, why didn't you tell me you had _Megatron_ at your place?"

"He's not—"

"Ha! He's the worst liar ever, Casey. Who else is there? Is it just him?"

In the background, she heard a door slam shut and she sighed. "Look, this isn't as great as you think it is."

"Oh, I bet! Don't go anywhere. I'm coming over." The rumble of an engine drowned out his voice. "I'll be there in 45 minutes."

"But you live an hour away, Bryan. Honestly, stay home."

"I'll drive fast. You think I would miss this? Who else is there? You mentioned you had friends there now—five of them?" The screech of tires nearly deafened her. "Whoa, I'd better pay attention. See you soon!"

The connection broke off before she could say anything more.

The Decepticons turned to face her when she came down the hall. Their expressions were anxious but curious, all expectant. Casey slipped the cell phone into her pocket and threw up her hands.

"Guess what, boys? We're gunna have company!"

Another "How to Behave" speech and thirty minutes later, Casey stood in the kitchen with Starscream in front of the stove. She adjusted the heat under a boiling pot of water. She pointed to the blue and yellow box on the counter.

"What does it say to do next?"

Starscream grimaced. "Why can't you do it?"

"Because I'm tired of hearing about you being hungry all the time. You've been here two weeks now. The twins and Soundwave learned how to make this already, so can you."

In front of the TV, Rumble and Frenzy sat watching an old tape of _Darkwing_ _Duck _episodes with heaping bowls of macaroni and cheese in front of them.

"It's not that hard Screamer." said Rumble, and laughed so hard he choked on a noodle when Darkwing ran headlong off a cliff shouting, "Geronimooooo!"

Frenzy pounded on his back. The small elbow macaroni flew out. Ravage pounced on it and made it disappear.

Starscream huffed and grabbed the box, attempting to put his meager ability to read Human to use. "It says, uh, 'The noodles must cook for seven to eight minutes.'"

"Right. Set the timer on the oven and pour the noodles in."

He made a face, about to protest how he was far too good for this task, when his stomach growled. He dumped the noodles in.

"So Starflight, when is this friend of yours supposed to arrive?" asked Megatron, watching them from the recliner.

She checked the clock, ignoring the flutter of nervousness in her stomach. She wasn't sure who she should be more worried about when the time came— the Decepticons or Bryan.

"Anytime now. Do you want anything, Megatron?"

"I'll eat later. I'm eager to meet your companion."

Casey stopped fussing with the burner's heat and glanced over her shoulder. "What did I tell you about plotting?"

"I'm not plotting."

"Good."

"I'm scheming," he corrected, and easily caught the potholder she threw at his head.

"Screamer, are you stirring? If you don't the noodles will stick together."

He reluctantly picked up the wooden spoon. "I'm stirring, I'm stirring."

"Good job." Casey frowned, noticing the dark bristles peppered across his chin and face. She scanned the others. The twins didn't have anything, but Megatron and Soundwave looked pretty scruffy too.

Suddenly the door buzzer went off like a giant bumblebee: _BBBZZZZZZTT._

Everyone jumped. Rumble paused the videotape. "What was that?"

She swallowed, going to the speaker by the door and pushed a little black button.

"Bryan?"

"I'm here!" Static obscured the voice. "Can I come up?"

Casey noticed absolutely evils grins on every one of the Decepticons. Well, except Soundwave, but he still looked guilty of evil anticipation.

"Proceed at your own risk."

Moments later three heavy knocks rattled the door. In the middle of instructing Starscream how to mix in cheese powder, Casey wasn't fast enough to answer the door. Frenzy got there first.

"I'll get it!"

"Wait, I think I should—"

He'd already turned the doorknob and pulled. "Hi!"

The face of Optimus Prime stared down at him. "I knew I would find you here, Megatron."

Frenzy bolted backward and slammed the door shut. "IT'S PRIME!"

"What?" cried Casey.

Megatron was up in a flash, ready to engage his mortal enemy. "Prime! You track me even to THIS realm?"

"Rumble, Frenzy, Operation: Defend Refuge." called Soundwave, and instantly his Cassetticons were at his side.

Thinking too quickly, Starscream grabbed the cheesy wooden spoon. "I'll get him!"

Casey squeezed past the advancing warriors and blocked off the hallway.

"Stand DOWN!" she shouted. In the second they obeyed, she hurried out and shut the door.

She found Bryan lying on the floor, laughing so hard he could barely breathe between howls of glee. A discarded Movie Optimus Prime Voice Charger helmet sat against the wall, staring at them when Casey stormed up to her friend.

"Bryan! That was NOT funny!"

""Y-y-you should have seen their faces!" he gasped. "It was great!"

"You just scared FIVE Decepticons into battle-mode, moron!"

"I… I… bet the little one shit his pants! HeeheeheeHAHAHA!"

Casey crossed her arms. "Yeah, and _I'll_ have to do Frenzy's laundry. Get up off the floor, doofus." She retrieved the Optimus Prime helmet. "They'll destroy this thing, just you watch."

Bryan removed his glasses so he could wipe the tears of glee out of his eyes. "I don't care. There's like a million of them out there." He heaved himself up to his full 6' 1' height and grinned. "That was worth it…. no matter the cost."

Casey thrust the helmet into his hands. "Ha ha." She stood up on tiptoe and pulled some dead grass out of his blonde hair. "You won't find it so funny when you walk in there."

"Maybe, maybe not." He shrugged, tucking the helmet under his arm. He flashed a roguish smile. "Been awhile, Casey."

"Hasn't it?" she finally smiled back. "Haven't seen you since before Christmas."

"Too long to go without my old high school buddy." He gave her a gentle noogie and turned to her apartment door. "So, five of them, huh? And you've been dealing with them all by yourself? That's amazing."

"I've had some help from Kari when things were rough a few days ago. They think I'm a Decepticon disguised as a human. Megatron and Soundwave know the truth, but it's important the others keep believing the opposite, okay? Even though, to others, I'm supposed to be a normal human."

"I think I can manage that. Is it okay for me to call you "Star", though?"

"I guess so. It's what they call me anyways." She sighed. "Let's get this over with."

Total silence greeted them both when they stepped inside the apartment. The room felt so icy Bryan shivered. Casey made sure to keep herself between the Decepticons and her old friend. "Uh, boys, this is Bryan. Bryan, meet Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Rumble and Frenzy."

He glanced at each of them and shifted uneasily. "Umm… hi."

"Not _Prime_," said Megatron through clenched teeth.

Bryan adjusted the Optimus Prime helmet under his arm nervously. "Nope, just his empty head."

"I would find that amusing if I did not have the burning urge to KILL you."

"And I would gladly assist!" said Starscream, brandishing his cooking spoon.

Casey snapped it out of his hand. "No you won't. It was a joke. Get over it."

Rumble clenched up his beefy fists. "I didn't find it funny! Let's take him, Bro!" They began to march forward when Soundwave caught them both by the scruff of the neck.

"Although warranted, not necessary."

Frenzy strained against the grip. "But Daaaaad!"

Bryan started to chuckle when he smelled a faint odor. "Hey, what's burning?"

"Huh?" Casey's nose twitched. She yelped and dashed for the stove. "Screamer! You were supposed to take it OFF the heat!"

"I was? No, my noodles!" he cried, and hurried into the kitchen.

Suddenly Bryan found himself standing in front of Megatron, exposed. The older man wasn't much bigger than him but he had a presence that loomed larger than anyone he'd ever met. A chill passed through his bones. Unnatural red-brown eyes glared at him with such intensity they nearly pinned him to the wall. He tried to shrug off the feeling of ultimate doom. This might be Megatron, but he was only human now… wasn't he?

"Come here often?" Bryan tried to break the ice.

After a long pause Megatron finally blinked. "You may be Casey's friend, but you had best watch yourself, boy."

"I'll let you know when I'm worried."

Megatron smirked. "You wouldn't have the time." A potholder came out of nowhere and smacked into his face. He sputtered. "What was that for?"

Casey had another one ready, holding it like a frisbee. "For ruining your dramatic effect. Be nice."

"Megatrons do not need to 'be nice!'"

"Is there more than one of you?"

"No! Don't be absurd!"

"Then stop saying things like that. It's annoying."

Bryan stared at them both. "You actually talk to him like that, Star?"

Megatron scowled. "Regularly."

"Something you should be used to, huh?" Casey ignored his growl and tugged on Bryan's shirt, leading him away from the kitchen. "Hey, can you help me with something?"

Bryan stashed his Optimus Prime helmet on top of the refrigerator, out of immediate reach of anyone who might do it harm. "Yeah sure, what do you need?"

"Um… these guys need to learn how to shave."

That stopped him for a moment. "Oh… okay."

Casey shrugged. "I can't exactly show them by example. Well, I could, but it'd probably be as awkward as teaching them how to potty. I already put supplies in the bathroom, they just don't know what it's all for yet."

"You taught them to do _what?_"

"Bryan…"

"Wow." He eyed her with a new sense of respect. "You deserve a medal for that."

She groaned. "Don't even get me started. I'll rally the troops after Screamer is fed. Oh, and if you see a black blur, don't step on it. It's my new cat."

"Really? What'd you name it?"

"Ravage."

Bryan laughed. "Of course."

Casey headed into the kitchen in time to help Starscream salvage the burnt remains of his lunch. Bryan took the opportunity to investigate the bathroom and the materials necessary for shaving. When he emerged into the doorway, he found his path blocked by Rumble and Frenzy. They were both shorter than him by at least ten inches. Faced with their scowls and folded beefy arms, however; Bryan realized size didn't matter with these two.

"Can I help you with something?"

He guessed it was Rumble, in the blue shirt, who answered first. "Star told us you're an old friend from school."

Bryan nodded. "That's right."

"And that's all you are to her?" asked Frenzy, in the black shirt.

"Yeah…"

"She also told us to be nice to you," said Rumble.

"But let's get one thing straight," said Frenzy, "she's _my_ girl. Don't you mess with her."

"Or we'll mess YOU up, got it?"

"She's your girl?" Bryan glanced at Casey, who was arguing with Starscream to get him to eat his macaroni and cheese. "Does she know this too?"

"Of course she does!" snapped Frenzy. His eyebrows disappeared under his sunglasses when his scowl deepened.

"Uh huh…" Bryan doubted this didn't go without protest on her part. He knew her well enough to know that, and Casey preferred taller, older guys anyway. Still, he thought it best not to argue. "Okay, I understand. We're just friends. You don't have to worry."

"See that it stays that way."

"Yeah, or else!" Frenzy smacked a hefty fist into his palm for emphasis.

_Being human certainly hasn't changed their attitudes any_, thought Bryan, and he nodded. "Got it."

"Good. Let's finish Darkwing Duck now, Bro."

"Yeah! I wanna see what happens when that love potion wears off. People are stupid when they're in love."

Just like that, the Cassetticon Twins hopped back in front of the TV. Bryan shook his head. That was a little… odd. He'd just been threatened by a pair of Decepticons over his best friend's affections. It felt like high school all over again.

"I don't CARE if it tastes funny, you made it, so eat it anyway!" Casey flopped onto the couch next to Megatron and threw up her hands. "He complains about everything!"

"He's Starscream," Megatron said, as if the statement explained it all.

"I heard that!"

"Shut up and eat!" Casey looked at Bryan, who was biting his lip to contain laughter. "Yes, I talk to him like that all the time too. You might as well teach Megatron and Soundwave while Screamer's feeding."

Megatron groaned. "What else could we possibly need to know?"

She glanced at him, then Bryan again. "The art of shaving facial hair."

"The _what?_" Rumble and Frenzy asked together.

"You two are too young to be worrying about that. I leave the rest of you in Bryan's capable hands for this lesson."

"Does it hurt?" asked Megatron, rubbing his prickly chin.

Bryan shrugged. "Only if you do it wrong."

After a somewhat confusing explanation, Starscream stood in the bathroom doorway. He watched Soundwave and Megatron shave while he finished his bowl of macaroni and cheese.

"You look better already," he told his leader, smirking.

"Don't distract me." Grumbled Megatron. He ignored Ravage when the cat slid around his legs and hopped up onto the toilet seat. Soundwave, unfortunately, eyed Ravage a moment longer than he should have.

"OOOOOWWW!"

Ravage bolted away to hide under the couch. Soundwave dropped his razor and knocked his sunglasses into the sink. He pressed his palm to the underside of his jaw and blinked repeatedly as tears came to his eyes. Megatron stared at him in shock.

"That is the loudest cry I have EVER heard you make for as long as I've known you. That's not right."

Casey already had her first-aid kit open. "Here's another band-aid."

Bryan passed it to Soundwave over Starscream's shoulder. Soundwave peeled apart the wrapping and pasted the band-aid over the cut, grumbling. At least he was even now, with another band-aid on the other side of his face to match. Megatron had only needed one band-aid so far, despite Starscream's efforts to increase his injury count.

"Hey Star, what are we to do after this?" asked Starscream.

Megatron nearly sliced into his chin. Why hadn't _he_ been asked?

Soundwave saw his leader's jerky movement and shook his head ever so slightly. Megatron met his gaze in the mirror and snorted. At least _someone _else noticed that everyone had developed a habit of asking Casey instead of the rightful commander.

"Um, I dunno." She selected another band-aid just in case. "Do you guys want to do anything? You were already out once today."

Bryan grinned. "Oh, I know. Let's take them to the mall. Let the public deal with them."

"The mall? Hell no! There's too many people there! Who knows what they'd do."

"I was just joking…"

"Don't SAY things like that, Bryan. Geez. That's asking for trouble of the worst sort."

Megatron's interest perked. He set his razor aside and examined his reflection. He looked better now… sort of, if you didn't count the band-aid stuck to his chin. "Now why would you say that?"

Casey froze. "Urk..."

"Yeah Star, we went to WalMart okay!" said Frenzy.

"What's the big deal about a Mall?" asked Rumble.

"Assuming we do, in fact, create trouble there?" Starscream's smirk might have been more menacing if not for the cheese around his mouth.

"Maybe it'll be fun!" said Frenzy.

"Better than staying here all day!" said Rumble.

Casey's face shifted to the color of blank paper. She whirled on Bryan and slapped his arm. "BRYAN!"

He dodged the next series of slaps. "It was just a joke!"

"Now they WANT to go!"

"I don't think you're helping by freaking out!"

"I am NOT! Hold still, doofus!"

Casey closed the first aid kit and swung the plastic container at him. Bryan danced away and put the couch between them. "I see you're still violent with random objects!"

The twins laughed and got out of Casey's way. "She used her shoe the other day!"

Casey darted around the couch, growling, and stopped short when something pulled hard on her impromptu weapon.

"Starflight… You have neglected to answer our questions." Megatron said, smiling. He easily yanked the kit from her hand.

Casey sputtered and considered hiding from that evil smile in a paper bag. Or something. "Bryan means the Mall of America. It's really big, full of people, stuff to buy, and it has an amusement park in the center. It's got all kinds of stores and restaurants that sell all sorts of things. I really don't think it would interest you guys. Besides, I don't have the transportation or the money."

"I think we should be the judge of that," said Megatron, still smiling.

"It sounds like fun! We've never been to an amusement park before." said Rumble, then thought about it. "Well, one we haven't been there to smash up."

"Or one even the right size for us," added Frenzy.

"You told us practicing to be among humans was a good thing," said Starscream.

Casey made a grab for her kit and missed when Megatron held it out of her reach. "But— Soundwave has to work!"

"My shift begins at 7:00 tonight. It is currently before noon."

"I can drive." said Bryan.

"Then it is decided." said Megatron, nodding. "We go."

She looked them over. The Twins gave her pleading expressions. Starscream smirked. Megatron had that I-dare-you-to-argue-with-me glint in his eyes. Soundwave wore an I-dare-you-to-argue-with-HIM face while managing to look bored at the same time. Bryan just smiled and waved. Outnumbered six to one. She attempted to shove Megatron to the side, and passed by him to march to her room when he allowed it.

"I'll change clothes. Bryan, I'll kill you later."

"Aw, you worry too much."

"I worry because they're _Decepticons!_"

"It'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"

Casey pelted both palms over her face with an audible double _slap_. "Don't you know you're NEVER supposed to say that, EVER?"

--

_To be continued…_


	9. Chapter 7 Part Two

Lesson in Living

Chapter 7

PART TWO

By Starath

-- -- -- -- -- --

"_Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why." –Hunter S. Thompson_

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

Bryan nearly choked. He flicked on his left turn signal and waited for the streetlight ahead to change color. He glanced at his shotgun passenger and looked away before they could make eye contact. Laughing at Megatron's question while they were confined in a small space didn't seem like a good idea.

"Not yet. We have about five miles to go."

"And then what?" asked Starscream from behind him. Bryan had made sure Starscream didn't sit behind Megatron on purpose. Still, it was odd to hear the voice coming from a real, breathing person sitting two feet away. Bryan smiled to himself. So far he hadn't had a Transformer-fanboy meltdown. He was handling this well.

"Then we find somewhere to park. Then we walk to the mall."

"Will that be far? I hate walking."

"It depends on where I find a parking spot. The mall's a big, popular place and will definitely be busy this weekend."

"Make walking minimal, then, human."

Megatron snorted. "You're issuing orders now, Starscream? How typical."

"Well at least I'm not sulking like _somebody—_"

"I'll see what I can do." Bryan interrupted. The last thing he needed was the two of them fighting while stuck in his van. The novelty of Decepticons-as-humans would wear off quickly, then. He ignored the glare Megatron gave him and focused on the road in front of them.

The streetlight swapped red for green. Bryan guided his beat-up van through the intersection's turn. Behind Megatron, Soundwave grabbed the sides of his seat with white knuckles. It was hard to tell due to the large man's sunglasses and baseball hat, but Bryan suspected Soundwave was fighting with motion sickness. Funny how despite being machines in their real lives, they hated being inside one. Or maybe that was just with human-made machines. Megatron hadn't been thrilled to step inside Bryan's van earlier, having pronounced it "hardly fit for transporting refuse, let alone Decepticon warriors." Bryan found himself grateful his van hadn't been red, at least. He adjusted his rear view mirror so he could see into the back seat. Yep, Casey was still glaring at him.

"How you doing, Star?"

Casey shifted uncomfortably. Her glare could have broken the mirror's glass. She sat between Rumble and Frenzy, an arrangement she'd tried very hard to protest. They took turns asking endless questions, pressing their noses to the windows, and hugging her out of sheer excitement. She rocked to the right when it was Frenzy's turn to hug her.

"Oh, I'm just _peachy_."

* * *

The Mall of America contains over 500 stores within its walls, in addition to its amusement park at the center. The second largest mall in North America, it has practically everything, from a wedding chapel to a simulation NASCAR raceway. There was a store here to interest anybody— including Decepticons.

Starscream's sharp ears picked out the low rumble from the Mall's crowd noise and bee-lined for its source. The store he found intrigued him. The interior's front counter was designed to look like a flight control tower. On the wall facing the Mall's walkway, four screens showed off four separate fighter jet dogfights at the same time. The roar of engines was punctured by the rapid-fire thumping of a gatling gun now and again. Fixated by the sight and sounds of jets, he watched the screens, oblivious to everything else. Eventually he blinked and spotted a row of glass cases to his left. Peering inside, he grinned as he examined the small model jets. He moved to stand beside a mannequin dressed in an Air Force pilot's uniform, complete with helmet and breathing mask. He circled the mannequin twice before the others caught up with him.

"Star— er, Maverick, would you kindly not do that again?" said Casey, "I don't want to lose any of you here."

Starscream's eyes sparkled. He practically vibrated with glee. "What is this place? I hear my fellow Seekers."

"In one of those grey boxes?" asked Rumble, scratching the back of his head.

"Kinda unlikely, right?" asked Frenzy.

Ahead of them, six oblong chambers hummed as though they were alive. They somewhat resembled the body of old fighter planes without the wings or cockpit glass. Each chamber bore a number and stickers one might find on a hotshot's plane— a skull and crossbones; a row of flags counting the number of enemies shot down. Starscream let out a whine, approaching one to circle it, but found he couldn't. They were too close to the wall. He settled for hovering around the chamber's door.

"What are these, Starflight? I must know!"

"Maverick, you're behaving like a fool." said Megatron, frowning.

Casey giggled. "It's natural he'd be attracted to the sound."

Bryan read the store's sign and grinned. "A.C.E.S. Yeah, that makes sense."

"Information required." said Soundwave.

"Those are flight simulators." Casey pointed at the chambers. "They're used to train military fighter pilots, I think, but these are for fun."

Starscream approached her and put on the most pathetic pout possible. "Can I get in one? Please?"

"Um, they cost money."

"I don't care! I've been grounded too long!"

Casey shook her head. "Maybe later. We have a lot to see."

He tried appealing to Soundwave. "You have money, right? Please Soundwave? I promise I'll be good! I'll do your base duties for a decacyle!"

Soundwave folded his impressive arms. "Fulfillment of promises is highly unlikely."

Rumble and Frenzy snickered to each other. Starscream scowled at them.

"Your judgment of my character leaves something to be desired."

"Irrelevant. I know you."

"Oh, thanks a lot."

"Alright, c'mon boys." Casey waved at them, already moving past the next store. "Like I said, we have lots to see."

"But I wanna flyyyy!"

Megatron swatted Starscream on the back of the head. "Quit whining. You sound like a sparkling."

"Oh, I know. Want me to take your picture for now?" asked Bryan, pulling a silver digital camera out of his pants pocket. "With the fighter pilot?"

"You brought a camera?" asked Casey.

"Duh. You think I'd go without proof of this day?"

"You can take them home with you if you want."

"Nah, I don't think Mom'll let me keep them."

"Slag…"

Megatron chuckled. "Do not sound so eager to be rid of us, Starflight."

"Yeah, well, you're not me."

"Hey, is my picture going to be taken or what?"

Bryan bit his lip to contain laughter and held up his camera. He sighted Starscream and the fighter pilot through the viewfinder. "Hold still."

"Then we wanna turn!" said Rumble.

"Yeah, with Star!" added Frenzy.

After the pictures were taken, Casey led them to the Mall's Rotunda. The circular corridor cut through the Mall's levels; three floors straight down. She pointed at the empty stage below.

"This is where special events are held, like when a famous singer comes to town. I saw Josh Turner and Mindy McCready here a few years ago."

"Wow…" Frenzy peered over the edge of the railing. "Hey Boss, isn't this about how tall you and the others are in real life?"

Megatron gauged the distance for a moment. "Approximately, although we would never be confined to such a narrow space."

"Narrow?" Rumble laughed. "Try living in Soundwave's chest compartment."

"So… we'd be eye-level with you standing here?" asked Casey. "I mean, since I haven't met you as your, uh, normal self."

Megatron rubbed his chin. "This is more Starscream's height. I'm larger by at least a meter."

"Cool."

"Larger in ego, you mean." Starscream dodged his leader's fist. "Missed! Ha! Could the Mighty Megatron be losing his ai— OW!"

"No, I'd say my aim is just fine."

Flashing lights and music attracted Frenzy the other side of the walkway, toward the center of the Mall. "Hey Bro! Come look at this!"

Bryan followed Rumble and Soundwave, pausing behind them to snap a picture.

"Whoa, look at that!" Rumble spotted the swinging blade of a giant axe lined in yellow lights. It spun in a vertical circle while its carriage of riders was turned upside-down at the same time. "Looks awesome!"

"That's the Mighty Axe." said Bryan.

"It spins around like that and turns you upside-down?"

"Yep. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Have you ever been on it?"

"Uh…" Bryan swallowed. "I prefer seeing my meals only once, when I eat them."

"I concur with the sentiment." said Soundwave.

"Ooo, look at that, Bro!" Frenzy pointed out a green roller coaster as a cart of screaming riders went by. "Looks like fun! Wonder why they're screaming. Aren't they happy?"

"It's a happy, thrilled sort of scream." explained Bryan.

"Yeah, it sounds different from normal scared human screams…"

"That looks fun too!" Rumble indicated a ride called the Screaming Eagle, one that spun its passengers upside-down. He turned to Soundwave the same time his brother did.

"Dad!"

"Can we go on the rides?"

"Pleeeease?"

"Negative."

"Aw, why not?"

"It's what humans do!"

"It's supposed to be fun!"

"Technically we are not human."

"Close enough!"

"Yeah, Dad!"

Bryan grinned and glanced behind them. "We should get back to Star and the others. She's getting antsy. Either that or she wants to kill Megatron and Screamer."

"Agreed." Soundwave grabbed each twin by the back of the neck and marched them to the Rotunda.

"Daaaad!"

"Leggo!"

"Hey, mind if I ask you something, uh, Walker?" Bryan double-timed to keep up with him. They trailed after the others down an escalator.

The large man glanced at him and gave a shrug, easily thwarting any attempts his twins made to get away. "Inquire if you like."

"Well… you're human, but are you still a Transformer?"

"Affirmative, to a certain extent. We retained abilities from our real forms."

"Really? What kind?"

When Soundwave paused a moment too long, Frenzy piped up. "Me an' Bro can play back any music we hear only once. He plays the guitar while we sing."

"Yeah, and we can still get into anything locked." added Rumble with a mischievous giggle.

Their father grunted and sighed. "Unfortunately."

"What can you do?"

"I am able to sense the presence and emotions of my Decepticon comrades."

"Wow. What can Megatron and Starscream do?" Bryan stepped onto another escalator behind them, looking ahead to the Mall's bottom floor. It figured that Casey would go this way first.

"Starscream can teleport like Skywarp for some reason." said Frenzy.

Rumble scratched his nose. "Come to think of it, we dunno what Megatron can do. Do you know, Dad?"

Soundwave's eyebrows disappeared under his sunglasses when he frowned. "Negative."

"Hmm. Maybe he doesn't know yet either?"

"Yeah, but it's not like the Boss-Bot not to know stuff." said Rumble.

"He only tells us what's important to know at the time anyway." said Frenzy.

Soundwave's frown deepened. "It is possible."

Casey's squeak of delight broke further conversation. It was her turn to have her nose pressed to the glass. Inside the Build-a-Bear Workshop, stuffed toys sat on pedestals facing the window. Children bounced in place beside tired parents, waiting to have the toy of their choice stuffed, brushed or dressed up. She moved from one toy to the other, squeaking when she paused to admire them.

"They're soooo cute! I want the teddy bear. Or the puppy. Maybe the leopard and oh my gosh the Husky is cuuute too…"

Bryan noticed Megatron's irritated scowl and slid up alongside her. "I don't think you're acting like a Decepticon," he whispered near her ear.

"Hang them. I want one, but I haven't the money Bryan…."

He took her by the hand and pulled her away. "Maybe later, if you're good."

"But I'm ALWAYS good!"

"We should go to your other favorite stores first, don't you think?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right!" Casey took off through a crowd of people, apparently forgetting she was in charge of five Decepticons.

Starscream snorted. "What was that about?"

"She, uh, collects toys."

"Why?"

"For fun, I guess." Bryan laughed to himself. "She's a typical girl gone shopping right now. Come on, before we lose her."

Luckily Bryan guessed right where she'd go next. They found her happily trawling the tight aisles of Hot Topic. Insanely loud rock music wafted out of the shop, capturing Rumble and Frenzy's attention. They darted in to explore. Starscream also went in, curious about what Casey found so thrilling about all the black clothing. Megatron lingered at the entrance, appalled by the loud music. Soundwave elected to stay outside where he could watch other people come and go.

"I will guard the entrance, my leader."

Megatron hesitated, then patted the loyal soldier's shoulder. He found Casey and Starscream next to a display of t-shirts hanging on the wall. To his surprise, he saw printed images of himself, Optimus Prime and other Transformers on the shirts.

"Look familiar?" Casey grinned at them. "You wanted to know where I got my Starscream shirt from." She pointed out a grey shirt identical to the one she was wearing.

Starscream smirked. "Excellent choice, Starflight."

"I thought so too. Like I said, I'm a Seeker in my other life."

Megatron studied the shirts, battling a sense of pride and revulsion at the same time. His image was bold and fierce on one of them— stark white outlines on a black background— and he had to be proud of that, yet… he was looking at himself… while human. And humans wore his image not as support for his cause, but merely because he— like Optimus Prime— were cultural icons, and nothing more. _What would you think of this, Prime? Would you be disgusted like me?_ Megatron forced himself to look away and jammed his hands into his pockets. What he would give to have his fusion cannon right now… its comforting weight, its capacity for absolute _destruction…_

"I also have a "Megatron for President" one and one with the Decepticon symbol, too. Naturally I'd support my true cause."

If Casey was looking for any gratitude on his part, Megatron didn't feel like giving it. "Admirable."

"Oh come now Megatron, you sound as though an astroflea has drained your enthusiasm." Starscream pulled him into a mock-hug, gesturing at the t-shirts on display. "We're icons! How many can attest to that?"

He glanced at the hand on his shoulder and growled. "Remove yourself or you will require a jacket with only ONE sleeve."

Starscream let go. Quickly. "I am only trying to cheer you up."

"If you want to please me, Starscream, take a long walk off a short spacebridge."

"Guys!" Casey flailed a bit to get their attention and put a finger to her lips. "Remember your nicknames! People here will recognize your voices."

"How can they above this ceaseless racket called 'music'?" Megatron turned on his heel and stomped off.

"Whoa." Once he was out of earshot she asked, "Is he okay?"

"Who knows." Starscream shrugged. "I don't think he's feeling like himself right now."

"Oh. Poor guy."

"Hah. It's about time he learned some humility."

"Like you're one to talk."

"That's beside the point. Uh oh, looks like the Twins found something to show us."

At the other end of the store, Megatron spotted the Twins carrying a blue shirt between them. A shirt that… looked like Soundwave's front? The image had the Decepticon symbol, cassette window and buttons at the bottom. They eagerly showed it to Casey and Starscream. He could hear them laughing from where he stood. He gritted his teeth. Could this get any more _absurd?_ Again he wished he had his fusion cannon, but caught himself and cast the fantasy aside. He _didn't_ have it right now, period. He was just human. Was he even truly Megatron anymore? With each passing day he lost something of himself, and for the first time in recent memory, he felt powerless in the face of it. _My identity is vanishing before my eyes,_ he thought, and not for the first time, wondered, _what am I here for? What is any of us here for? I should know! I'm the leader!_

A brief white flash blinded him. When his vision cleared, he saw Bryan sheepishly holding his camera.

"Sorry. The flash came on automatically."

Megatron snarled and advanced on him. "You've chosen the WRONG moment to IRRITATE me, boy!"

"Er… sorry!" Bryan retreated to Casey and the others.

He tried to follow but ran into an end display instead. Something fell off the hook and landed on his black boot. He bent to grab it, fully prepared to tear it to pieces. When he realized what he had, though, anger vanished. The shiny fake leather of the fingerless gloves reflected lights overhead. He flipped them over, intrigued. Black. Like his hands were supposed to be.

"Come on Dad, buy it!"

"It's a shirt that looks like yourself! It's perfect!"

Soundwave exhaled loudly and turned Rumble and Frenzy around to face the store's interior. "Negative. Put it back."

"Can I take a picture of you guys with it?" asked Bryan.

Casey laughed at the face Soundwave made. Starscream nudged him in the side.

"Come on Walker, it _is_ perfect for you."

Megatron approached them shoved the fingerless gloves under Casey's nose. "Buy these for me."

"Huh?" She backed up a step and took the gloves." "Um… I would, but they're thirty-five dollars."

"I care not about the cost."

She started to protest, but thought better of it when Megatron's face hardened. "Um, maybe Walker can help me pay for them." She passed the gloves to him.

"Garment function?"

"Maintaining identity."

Soundwave tilted his sunglasses up. Their eyes met and held for a long moment. He nodded. "I will purchase them."

Casey blinked, unsure of what passed between the two men. "Okay, but we should make sure these fit you."

"I already made sure."

They hadn't left Hot Topic for five minutes when Megatron ripped the packaging from the gloves and slipped them on. He secured them tightly around his wrists. He flexed his hands, watching the fake leather move over his knuckles.

"Ah, at last!"

"Feeling better, leader?" asked Starscream, walking beside him.

"As a matter of fact, I do!"

Bryan made sure he had Casey between himself and Megatron. "Uh oh. The universe isn't safe now."

"The universe will again tremble at my name!" Megatron let out a maniacal cackle that made people stop and stare.

Casey sighed and put her face in her hands.

Bryan was among those who were staring. "You really _do_ sound like that when you laugh."

"Yes," he said dryly, "I practiced every day for two hundred stellarcycles."

"And look how he turned out." Starscream avoided another punch in the shoulder by teleporting to Soundwave's side. The large man punched him instead. "Ow! Not you too!"

"Where should we go next, Star?" asked Rumble.

Frenzy hugged her from the side, nearly knocking her over. "This place is huuuuge!"

Before she could answer Megatron announced, "I require refueling now, Starflight."

"For the LAST time, Uncle Mike, just say you're hungry and need food."

"That's what I said."

Casey rolled her eyes and attempted to peel Frenzy off. She stuck out her tongue at Bryan after he snapped a picture. "The food courts are back up on the third floor. You should have said something sooner."

"I didn't need anything then."

Bryan took another picture when she glared at Megatron. Who would have the nerve to give him _that_ look, after all?

"See what I have to put up with here, Bryan?" she cried.

"But aren't we fun?" Frenzy grinned at her.

"An absolute joy. Let go of me."

Megatron only gave her a knowing, evil smirk. Bryan always thought the best thing to do when the Decepticon leader looked like that was to hide. But not Casey.

"Alright, dorkbot. Come on."

The bustling north food court offered many choices for a meal: Taco Bell, Panda Express and Dairy Queen all shared space with other fast food restaurants along the strip. Neon lights meant to attract customers to the counter did little more than blend together in a colored, confusing blur. Casey stood beside a table with Bryan and the Decepticons-in-disguise, wondering what on Earth Megatron would eat out of all the possibilities. There was a pizza shop here too, but maybe he'd try something different?

"Hey, Casey?" Bryan nudged her. "Why are people staring at us?"

"Huh?" She broke off her gaze from the neon signs and glanced around. People sitting at nearby tables— mostly young women— were gawking at them. Passersby also slowed in their hurried rush for the next shopping stop. She watched a group of women point and talk among themselves like plotting vultures. The Decepticons, distracted by the prospect of food, were oblivious.

"They're not staring at 'us', exactly. It's the boys."

"Really? Not me too?"

"Duh. Three uber-hot guys and two beefy, handsome teenagers. Help me look after Screamer. He attracts girls like fruit flies."

"Until he opens his mouth, you mean."

"I wish. He's a practical clothing model."

"Uh huh. So which one do you like best?"

"WHAT?" Casey's shriek had everyone's attention who heard it.

Bryan grinned. "You said they were hot."

"That didn't mean— ew no— NONE of them!"

A sudden _thud_ from behind made her rock forward. Frenzy stretched to rest his chin on her shoulder. "Except me, right baby?"

Casey growled. Bryan took another picture.

Megatron approached them, frowning. "Enough idleness. What is the delay?"

She attempted to force Frenzy to let go by sitting down. Unfortunately he took the seat first and looked all too happy to have her in his lap. The fact that he was shorter than her didn't bother him one bit. Casey made her weird sound of aggravation and gave Bryan the finger when his camera flashed.

"But you look so cute together!"

"We're not— oh for the love of Primus— let go!"

"Why, don'tcha like sitting with me, baby?"

"DON'T call me that! ARGH!"

Soundwave cuffed Frenzy's ear. "Release her."

"Owwww…" Reluctantly he did so.

Casey took a moment to straighten herself out before facing Megatron. "I was trying to figure out what you'd eat."

"Surely it cannot be that difficult."

"No, Uncle Mike, it's because there are many choices here that you're not used to. Do you know if you'll eat a hamburger? Or nachos? Chow Mein with orange chicken?"

"Isn't there any energon?"

"No… we've covered that. Maverick, stop waving at the girls."

He dropped his hand. "Why? They're being friendly."

"They want to get into your pants."

"They what? Why would they want my pants?"

"Never mind."

"Um, if I may offer some advice?" asked Bryan.

"By all means, please." Casey fended Frenzy off by putting a chair between them. "No more hugs today."

"Awww…"

"This is horribly stereotypical, but guys like meat. Lots of it." He pointed out Arby's. "Try that."

"I'm hungry too," said Rumble.

Casey face-palmed. "You just ate at home!"

"But we're hungry now. This Mall stuff is hard work." said Frenzy. "Can you get us something, Star?"

"Ask your father."

Soundwave gave her a brief, oh-gee-thanks look.

"I can help with that." said Bryan. "You two like anything, right?"

"At least once!"

"Yeah, especially when we're hungry!"

"Okay. I'm a Taco Bell guy. Mind if I take them over, Walker?"

"Negative. Bring me something as well."

"Can do. Let's go."

Bryan led them to the line in front of the Taco Bell counter. Casey tugged on Starscream's jacket. "Are you hungry too?"

He continued smiling at a group of women two tables over. "No, I'm satisfied."

"Good. Walker, can you two watch over our table?"

He sat down in direct line with the women, blocking Starscream's view. He pulled on the Air Commander's arm, forcing him to sit across from him. "Affirmative."

"Alright. C'mon Uncle Mike, let's get you fed."

Megatron followed after her, once again a large, silver-haired shadow. "I am perfectly capable of retrieving my own sustenance, Starflight."

"Oh are you?"

He held out an open hand. "Give me some currency. I will prove it."

Casey cringed. "I don't think—"

"Do you doubt my abilities?" His red-brown eyes took on a dangerous glint.

She attempted to glare at him. "It's not—" His expression made her shiver. She fished out her wallet and gave him a ten-dollar bill. "Okay okay. This should be plenty to pay for your meal. I want the change back. You can get yourself a sandwich and a drink with that."

"I knew you'd see it my way."

Megatron left her and stood in line at the Arby's counter. He was easily a head taller than anyone there and people attempting to get by gave him a wide berth. At least, at the Mall, he blended in with the assortment of people here… sort of. Not many held themselves so proudly. Casey sighed. _I wish I could stand like that. It's admirable, even if he's irritating as hell._ When it was his turn at the counter, she squirmed with worry. The cashier gave him a confused look during the exchange, but a few minutes later Megatron came back with a tray of food and a triumphant smirk. Casey crossed her arms.

"You asked about energon, didn't you?"

"It was worth a try."

When they returned to their table, Rumble and Frenzy were already nose-deep in a shared plate of nachos. Soundwave thoughtfully examined a bean burrito in front of him. Bryan smiled over his pile of Taco Bell goodies and tossed a soft taco in Casey's direction. She caught it.

"I know you like those."

"Ah, thanks."

"Are you sure that's not sentient?" Starscream asked Bryan, gesturing to Soundwave's burrito. "It looks like something I saw burrowing in an energon mine once."

He choked, in the middle of swallowing when he started laughing. "No, it's not. It's perfectly safe."

Megatron carefully unwrapped his double-layer beef-and-cheese sandwich. He made a face. "This will not corrode my interior, will it?"

"No, it won't." Casey finished her soft taco and helped herself to one of Bryan's napkins. She pushed away from the table. "While you boys are eating, I'm gonna go look at the toy store down that way."

Bryan jumped up after her, pulling her aside when he whispered in her ear. "Casey, don't go."

"Why?"

"I… uh, don't want to be alone with them."

"Why not? They won't hurt you any."

"I know, but… it's just that I pissed off Megatron earlier."

"Oh. Don't worry about it. If he wanted to get even he'd have done something by now. Soundwave keeps him in check anyway."

"Yeah, but…" He fidgeted. "During all this it kinda just hit me that _ohmyGOD_ they're the real Decepticons and it's really freaky."

"Believe me, I know the feeling. You'll be fine. You can send the twins to get me if you have to. Better sit back down before they eat your lunch for you."

"Okay, but if I get fusion cannoned I'm blaming you."

She laughed. "It hasn't happened to me yet."

Walking into ToyCorner always made Casey feel giddy. Away from the Decepticons for now, she freely skipped from aisle to aisle, gleefully prodding at toys that beeped, squawked and honked. She admired a crystal growing kit and moved on to a three-foot tall T-Rex skeleton made of wood. Hopping over the dinosaur's tail, she went to the back wall of the store and stared. Every imaginable stuffed animal was there: Puppies, kittens, giant frogs and bright pink lizards poked their heads out of the fluffy, colorful mess. Casey fiddled with a tiny lobster with magnets in his claws and tail, giggling as she stuck it back on the metal pole upside-down. She stroked the heads of a cheetah and a snow leopard sitting side-by-side. She caught a toy raccoon as it fell off the shelf and gave it a tight hug.

"Hopefully you'll go to a good home soon."

She put it back carefully; pushing the raccoon among its identical companions so it wouldn't fall again. She turned to her right and was faced by a smiling array of teddy bears. These were her weakness. Her gaze lingered on a white bear with black pads on its paws. Standing on tiptoe to reach it, she pulled it out and smothered the bear in a hug.

"Someday…"

She checked the price tag and whined. "Twenty bucks. Someday's not today, buddy."

She returned the bear to its place and stepped back. Smiling sadly, she left the stuffed animals in peace.

Casey's next order of business was investigating the store's Transformer collection. She couldn't take any of them home, but that was beside the point. Slipping past a heavyset young man in the same aisle, she ignored the upcoming Transformers movie toys and examined the ones from the Classics line.

"Looking for a gift?" the young man asked.

She looked up. He didn't look like much, but it never hurt to answer a question. "No, for myself."

"Not for your boyfriend or something?"

"No… I'm a Transformers collector."

"Me too." He rattled some of the movie toys on the hooks beside her. "I have a huge collection. Stuff from the 80's you've probably never seen before. Never opened, unless I have a double. They're in my vault. It's pretty impressive."

Casey suppressed a groan and thought, _oh, here we go…_

"Do you know what the very first Transformers universe was?"

"G1 and G2. Duh."

"No, the others."

"Oh. You mean the comics? I'm more well-versed in Dreamwave's stuff, but I have some of Marvel's old comics too. They're pretty good. Where it all started, besides the commercials."

A slight pause. "Not many know that. And in the beginning, though, the gods Primus and Unicron fought it out—"

"Order and Chaos, yeah. The opposing forces. Transformers mythos is cool." She nearly face-palmed. Was she out-geeking a Transformers fanboy? And what was he quizzing her for, anyway? She dug to the back of the Classics toy racks, hoping to find one she hadn't seen yet.

"I can't wait for the new movie. It's going to be awesome. See this one?" He picked out a Leader Class Optimus Prime toy and held it up proudly. "Got it already. In my vault."

She spared him a glance. He was in a white t-shirt and cut-off jean shorts, obviously in need of more exercise. Harsh, maybe, but he was a far cry from the handsome, muscular men the Decepticons were. _Who I should NOT be thinking of like that! Argh!_ "Yeah, I don't pay attention to the movie toys. The designs are hideous. Give me old school G1 or Beast Wars any day."

A longer pause, then she heard the sliding of Optimus' box going back on the shelf.

"Beast Wars?" he asked.

"Yeah. I have a few of the toys. I used to play with them, but some are unopened because they're rare."

"Do you know about Beast Wars II?"

"I have Screamer 2 and BB." _Oh my God I sound like a dork. But that bit of info got him to shut up…_

He laughed quietly and shook his head. "I'm looking at myself."

Casey sighed. "No you're not. I'm too short."

"You know, I graduated from high school early. Gonna go to Harvard with a scholarship. I work on my uncle's farm now, and he says he's never seen someone work as hard as me."

_Oh dear Primus. Who are you trying to impress, kid?_ She moved down the aisle, hoping to escape. So it _was_ true about what fanboys did when they met a fangirl… _My brother warned me about this._

"…I'm gunna save up my money and build a bigger vault for my toys. Seen the original Transformers movie?"

"Yeah."

"The original one, you know, the cartoon."

"Duh. The other one isn't out yet."

"VHS or DVD?"

"Twentieth Anniversary VHS."

"I have the original VHS, unopened. Like my toys. But I watch the DVD all the time."

Casey rolled her eyes. _What's the deal with unopened stuff? You're supposed to play with the toys, not let them suffocate._ "Uh huh. Orson Welles does a great Unicron."

He just stood there. "I'm looking at myself."

_Sure you are._ She tapped a package containing a Star Wars toy. "They're supposed to be making crossover toys of Star Wars and Transformers stuff soon. Like, Darth Vader turns into his Tie Fighter. Personally sounds like a joke to me."

"Are you for real?"

"No, I'm a figment of your imagination."

"What's your name?"

For a moment she seriously considered telling him it was Starflight. "They call me… Casey."

"My name's Josh."

"Nice to meet you, Josh." _Now please go away…_

"Where do you live?"

"St. Paul." A nice, big city where he couldn't find her. Ever.

"I've been there. Not as cool as Minneapolis though. So who's your favorite?"

"I grew up with Beast Wars, but lately I've been into… G1 Decepticons."

"Know them well?"

"Personally."

"Know which of Soundwave's Cassetticons—"

"Hey! Hey Star, where are you?"

"Here you are!" Rumble's face popped out from around the corner. The store lights gave his sunglasses a brief flash. He grinned. "Figures. By our toys."

_Oh thank you God,_ she thought. _Thank you thank you thank you._ "Hey Elwood."

"She's over here, Bro."

"Baaaby!" Frenzy darted into the aisle and hugged her with a _thump._

For once Casey didn't push him away. "You have nacho cheese on your mouth."

He wiped it clean with the back of his hand. "Bryan sent us to get you."

"Uh… did Uncle Mike decide to cannon him?"

"Nah." Rumble leaned on the aisle's end piece. "You friend Kari's here with somebody named Stephan. He wants to take Dad and the others clothes shopping."

"He what?"

"That's what Screamer said."

Casey glanced at Josh, who looked to be on the verge of terminal collapse. "You mean Maverick, Elwood. That's just his nickname." She jerked her thumb at the young man.

"Oh, er, yeah."

Frenzy took notice of Josh and frowned. "Hey, is this guy bugging you, Star? Want me to take him out?"

"No no, that's okay Jake." For the first time she wrapped her arm around his shoulders in a hug. "We were just talking about Transformers stuff, but I'd better go with you two now. Bye Josh."

Her hug tactic worked, thankfully. Frenzy rewarded her with a tighter hug and the biggest smile possible. He let her lead them out of the aisle. Rumble started to follow, then glanced back at Josh and tilted his head.

"Man, you don't look so good."

An audible _WHUMP!_ could be heard just as they left the store. Rumble went to the check-out counter.

"Hey lady, there's a guy by the Transformers toys. I think he just fainted or somethin'."

The cashier's face lit up with alarm and she hurried off in the direction Rumble pointed.

Casey could no longer contain herself. Her laughter reached the Mall's high glass ceiling and bounced elsewhere to scare pigeons sitting outside. Frenzy had to let go when she doubled over to hold her aching sides.

"What's so funny?"

---

_To be continued in Part Three…_


	10. Chapter 7 Part Three

Lesson in Living

Chapter 7

PART THREE

By Starath

* * *

Casey hustled to keep up with the twins as they darted between tables in the food court. Her constant giggling made it hard to keep her breath at the same time. She spotted Megatron's silver head first and took the opportunity to make faces behind his back. When she rounded the corner, Kari saw her and waved. Casey waved in return. Rumble and Frenzy were leaning on their father's shoulders by the time she arrived at the table.

"Here she is!" announced Frenzy with a grin.

"We found her by the Transformers toys." said Rumble, also grinning.

Casey tried to hold her breath, choked, and ended up laughing all over again.

Starscream arched a dark eyebrow. "Is there some joke you'd like to share with us?"

She shook her head, struggling to compose herself while everyone stared. "I'll… tell you boys later. Hi Stephan. Hi Kari."

"Casey!" Kari tackled her in a hug. "It's been FOREVER since we went shopping together! Why didn't you tell me you'd be here?"

Casey staggered and cast a glare at Bryan and Megatron. "This wasn't planned."

Bryan inspected his pile of Taco Bell wrappings. Megatron just smirked.

"So I heard." Stephan laughed, a tinkle of merriment that could have come from a fairy, not a young man. "I was discussing some shopping with your friends here."

While she hugged Kari, Casey looked over the Decepticons. Except for Soundwave, she could tell they were confused by Stephan's presence. Not that she could blame them— Stephan took some getting used to. Today he looked much like he had the day Kari introduced her to him: His hair was dyed purple, for starters, and it was hardly contained under a bright red hat. He had a chain connecting a lip ring to his right ear for reasons Casey never understood. As usual, his clothing was a strange (yet fashionable) combination of a short-sleeved button-up shirt, dress pants and fish net gloves.

"Shopping?" She asked.

"Yeah! Guy shopping. I thought I could take your friends for awhile so you had time with Kari and Bryan."

"Uh… what would you go shopping for?"

Stephan shrugged. "I dunno. Something fun." He eyed Megatron. "I'm thinking black leather for you, Micheal."

Megatron frowned. "Really…?"

"I don't think that's a good idea." said Casey.

Stephan pouted. "Why nooot?"

_Because I'm not letting Decepticons loose with someone they don't know!_ "I'm not sure these guys would be interested in clothes shopping." She kicked under the table. "Right, Bryan?"

He jumped. "Ow! Oh, er, yeah. They might like army surplus shopping better."

Starscream snorted. "Is that a feeble joke?"

"If it's army stuff they like, I'm sure we could find some." said Stephan. "We are at the Mall of America, after all!"

Casey's mind whirled. She planted both feet down and pulled away from Kari's hug. "Seriously, I don't think—"

Megatron sat back from the table. "We'll go."

Automatically Starscream and Soundwave stood with him. Stephan bounced up, clapping his hands with excitement. "Terrific! I know just where to start. Kari, I'll call you when we're done. Come along, guys!" He flounced off without waiting for them.

"Hey, what about us?" The twins demanded at the same time.

Soundwave paused and fished a twenty-dollar bill out from under his raggedy blue hat. He gave it to Rumble. "Remain with Casey and her friends. Do not utilize that all at once."

"Cool! Real money!"

"Thanks Dad!"

Casey felt the ground tilt and held onto a chair for balance. The soft taco she'd eaten earlier threatened to show up again. With focused effort she marched after Megatron and grabbed the corner of his gunmetal grey jacket. "Now wait just a minute!"

He turned so quickly he might have struck her if she hadn't moved out of the way. "Do you have issue with my decision?"

"Yes! Of course I do!" Luckily Casey's frantic voice could hardly be heard over the noise of the food court. Soundwave and Starscream had already followed Stephan down the main walkway. "You don't know Stephan and I don't trust you to be in public without me!"

"You don't trust me? What could we possibly do here?"

"I don't know! You're Decepticons! You need supervision!"

Megatron exhaled loudly and spoke slowly, as if speaking to a small child. "Setting aside all _other_ instances we have been in public without you, we are not as reckless as you think, nor are we sparklings. And whether or not you trust me is immaterial. This 'Stephan' human merely intrigues me."

"You're doing this to spite me."

The all-to-familiar smirk returned. "Possibly."

Casey shut her eyes to block out the sight of the moving floor. She started to sway but forced herself upright. "Just… please behave."

His smirk lessened a bit. "If it eases your panic, I give you my word of honor that we will behave."

"Hey leader, we're waaaaiting for you!"

_Of course Starscream's voice would carry so clearly over the crowd,_ Casey thought, and opened her eyes in time to see Megatron leaving her.

"And yes, I do have my honor," he said over his shoulder. "On occasion."

* * *

As they left the food court, Casey kicked an empty water bottle. It rolled across the carpeted floor and thumped against a bench. As she walked by it, she scooped it up and dropped it into a recycling bin.

"I can't believe I let him go."

Bryan slid up beside her and gave her a nudge with his elbow. "Hey, they'll be okay. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I can think of a few million things. Stop saying that. You're tempting fate."

Frenzy pushed his way in between them, nonchalantly bumping Bryan out of the way. "Don't worry Baby, if Meg- er, Michael gave you his word, it's good."

Bryan frowned at him, adjusting his glasses back in place. "What he said."

Kari rubbed her chin in thought. "Something bothers me about your Uncle Mike."

"Besides his ego?"

"Well, yeah. Besides that. It's just that… listening to him earlier, I realized he sounds familiar."

Casey stopped in her tracks so fast Rumble ran into her. She traded startled glances with Bryan and the Cassetticon twins. "He does…?"

"Uh huh. Maverick too. Walker… sort of. I can't pinpoint it."

Frenzy opened his mouth to say something, then snapped it shut when his brother shook his head and made the 'closed zipper' imitation.

"Maybe it's a coincidence?" suggested Bryan.

"Yeah, but all three?" Kari turned so she could walk backward, facing her friends while occasionally looking over her shoulder to see where she was going. She pointed at the twins. "You too, now that I think about it."

"Er… we're nothin' special." said Rumble quickly.

"Yeah! Just two perfectly ordinary, ah… identical twins!" added Frenzy. He hopped up to reach Casey's ear and whispered, "Does she know about us?"

She nodded and kept herself from dragging a hand down her face. _She_ had been the one who introduced Kari to Transformers when they met two years prior. Kari had become an instant fangirl. Normally this wouldn't be a problem. In fact, it was quite fun. Casey was known to be a fangirl herself, but actually _living_ with Decepticons had worn the shiny finish off any idealistic daydreams she used to have. Reality had a way of doing that.

"Howcome you two are so identical, anyway?" Kari asked them.

"Uh…" Rumble looked at his brother.

"Dad musta gotten lucky!" said Frenzy.

"Yeah! He takes good care of us."

"'Cept for the whole 'Eject' and—"

"COUGHtoomuchinformationCOUGH." interrupted Bryan.

Frenzy halted mid-sentence and zipped his lips shut again. Kari stared at them.

"What? I had something in my throat." Bryan coughed for emphasis.

A sweet scent ran up and smacked into Rumble's nose. It startled him at first, but his eyes widened. He followed it to the entrance of a candle shop. Poised on the threshold, he breathed in a hundred smells at once, suddenly interested in them all. Frenzy's nose was also assaulted by a scent that seemed to have sought him out. He joined his brother at the store's entrance. They lifted their sunglasses at the same time. Row after row of candles in every imaginable color lined the walls and display bins. A few customers looked at them in distaste for sniffing so loudly.

"Whoa! So many smells!"

"They all smell so good!"

"I'm getting hungry for some reason!"

Kari blinked. "It's just a candle shop, guys."

Rumble stopped sniffing long enough to face her. "We've never been in one before."

"Really? You can go in, you know."

They needed no further encouragement. Casey and Bryan watched the twins go from bin to bin, smelling every candle that fancied their nose. While Kari looked at candles that interested her, Bryan spoke to Casey.

"Why are they so excited?"

She smiled. "Human senses are still new to them."

"Bro! This green one smells like all those trees we got stuck in that one time!"

"Oooh, it does. This one smells like Star's strawberry jam we put on toast!"

"Wonder if they taste good too?"

Kari plucked the red candle out of Frenzy's hand. "No, they don't. Candles aren't for eating. Don't you know anything?"

"Aw, then why's it smell so good?"

Bryan laughed. "So they've been discovering stuff like this since they got here?"

"Pretty much. A warm meal and a fuzzy blanket were novelties to them. They all get interested by things we take for granted."

"Have they had dreams too?"

Casey delicately sniffed a candle scented like lilacs. "Megatron has. I don't know about the others."

"Hey Star?" called Rumble.

"Yes, uh, Elwood?"

"There's lots of them that smell like food. Is there a pizza one too?"

She giggled. "Doubtful, but you can ask."

Frenzy approached them, holding a blue candle in one hand and a yellow candle in the other. His amber-brown eyes sparkled. He could have been a child in a candy store. "Star, howcome the smells match colors?"

"Huh? Oh, it's because certain colors are associated with things that smell like them. That's why this blue one—" she took it from him and sniffed it, "smells like the ocean. Because the ocean is blue too."

"And this one? It smells like that fruit we pretend to shoot each other with?" he shoved it under her nose.

She gently pushed his hand away. "Yellow like a banana, yes. Be sure to put that back where it belongs."

"Okay!"

Bryan flashed off a picture when Frenzy joined his brother by the wall display. "This is fun to watch."

Kari joined them in watching the twins. She tossed her hair and cocked her hips so she could lean against the table.

"What's with these punk teens? You'd think we were in a porn shop, not a candle store. Elwood really did ask if they had a pizza-scented candle. It's like they've never used their sense of smell before."

"Maybe they haven't?" suggested Casey, and added a half-truth. "They're used to big city living, so this kind of thing is new to them."

"What, have they been living in a box?"

"Maybe." said Bryan, "If by box you mean cassette player. Then yes, they have been living in a box."

"Whatever…"

Casey choked on her laughter and willed a straight face. "Hey boys, hurry up, okay?"

The twins were huddled around a particular display, debating with each other. Eventually an agreement must have been reached, because they selected a small brown candle in a glass jar. Rumble went to the check-out counter with it. Kari frowned and brushed hair out of her eyes.

"See, this is weird. They're buying a candle."

Bryan grinned behind his camera as he took another picture. "Guys can like candles too."

"Star! Hey Star!"

"Look what we got!"

Casey moved outside so they wouldn't annoy the customers anymore. Everyone followed her out. Rumble and Frenzy bounced from side to side, too excited to keep still. She couldn't stop smiling at them. Who could guess that these two happy teenagers were Decepticon warriors?

Frenzy opened the lid to the candle's jar and held it up for everyone to smell. "Isn't it good?"

Casey, Bryan and Kari didn't need to get very close to get a whiff of the scent. It was the kind of sweet smell that settled into your mouth and made your teeth fall out.

"Oh my," said Casey. "Very good. Like cookies."

"It's cinn-a-mon and sugar." Frenzy read the label and beamed proudly.

"When we get home can you make cookies that smell this good?" asked Rumble.

"Um, not today," said Casey, and hugged them both when their beefy shoulders drooped. "Maybe someday soon, though."

"Awesome! I bet Dad will like them."

"Screamer too."

"I dunno if the Boss will like them. Would Megatron like cookies?"

Kari made a strangled noise. She backed away from the twins, her eyes growing round and as big as Peterbilt truck tires. She did a frantic dance in place with her hands clasped to her chest. "That's IT!" she squealed.

The twins froze. "Oops…"

"You two are— you sound like— OhmyGod— what are the Cassettes called— Laserbeak and— nowait— Rumble and Frenzy!" she wheezed. "OhmyGOD you're REAL!"

"Uh…"

"It makes sense now! Your Dad is— um— Shockwave?"

"Hey, it's not ol' one-optic, it's Sound—"

"_Soundwave!_ That's right! I get them confused."

By now Kari had attracted attention from fellow mall-goers, who were thinking she was either inventing a new dance routine or having a seizure. Casey grabbed her arm and pulled her against the wall.

"Kari, cool it. You're scaring people, and this isn't the place to freak out."

"Yeah, they can't be—" Bryan started to say, but logic couldn't stop a girl in full swing of a fangirl spazz. Kari's face drained of all color.

"OhmyGod. Oh. My. God. I can't believe it. I threatened HIM."

"Who?"

"Your Uncle Mike! He's— OhmyGod— he's Megatron, right? When he made you upset last week I threatened him! But oh God, he's Megatron! He's not going to kill me in my sleep, is he?"

"I don't think so…" Casey helped her friend stand up. "What'd you threaten him with, anyway?"

"Um…" The color in Kari's face came back as a healthy shade of red. "I made an analogy that involved removing important nuts from bolts."

"…You _didn't._"

"I did!"

The Cassetticon twins staggered against each other, their candle forgotten on the floor as they howled with laughter.

"You shudda seen the look on his face, Star!"

"She was dead serious and he believed her!"

"No wonder he apologized," Casey said dryly. She rapped on Bryan's arm. "Stop laughing. I need you to maintain order."

"You _threatened_ Megatron?" He managed to ask, "And got away with it?"

"I didn't know who he was at the time! I thought he was Casey's asshole Uncle!"

This inspired even more laughter. People walking by frowned or smiled at them. A few were annoyed to have to walk around them. Casey gave up trying to keep Kari quiet and leaned against the wall, suddenly too tired to find anything amusing at all. Sure, they could laugh at it… but they didn't live with the real Decepticons. Kari startled her with another sound that was some sort of combination between a squeak and a giggle-fit.

"Wait… then Maverick is—" Kari looked at Casey with the most disturbing set of pleading eyes she'd ever seen. "Is he really—?"

"Yes," Casey sighed, and plugged her ears. "He's Starscream."

"OHMYGOD EEEEE!"

The Cassetticons abruptly stopped laughing to hug each other for protection. Kari bounced around in circles, squeaking and flailing as she did so. Bryan wiped his eyes clear of tears and replaced his glasses.

"Seeker fangirl?"

"Seeker fangirl."

"Aren't you one too?"

"I used to be. 'Til I met the guy."

Frenzy retrieved the dropped candle and put it back into its shopping bag. "Star, is she one of those crazy people you told us to stay away from?"

"Yeah. But she's mostly harmless." Casey felt like sitting, so she did, right on the floor.

"OhmyGOD ohmyGOD I get to meet Starscream! Technically, I already met him!" Sparkling pink stars flew around Kari as she clasped her hands together, talking to the ceiling. "He's soooo handsome as a human! Why didn't I see it before? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it was _supposed_ to be a secret. Keep your voice down, please."

"Bryan, did you know about this already?"

"Uh, yeah. But only because Megatron answered her phone."

"Did you freak out too?"

"Kinda. I certainly confused him, anyway."

Kari seemed to finally realize that Casey was sitting on the floor instead of standing. "Why are they with you?"

"I'm their comrade-in-arms."

"Huh?"

Frenzy slid his sunglasses back over his eyes and frowned at her. "It's a secret."

"Yeah, no more questions about that." Rumble mirrored his brother's movement and expression. They stood on either side of Casey like bodyguards, immediately all business.

Kari's excitement subsided and she stepped back. "Okay, okay. Gee Casey, you've been looking after five Decepticons all by yourself?"

"Yeah…"

"Wow."

"That's what I said," Bryan nodded in shared sentiment.

"You poor dear! No wonder you've been so tired." Kari snapped her fingers and offered her hand to help Casey up. "Come on. I know just the thing to cheer you up."

Casey didn't move. "Do I have to? I'm comfy."

"Yes, of course silly. C'mon, up! Otherwise I'm sure the boys will carry you."

She quickly stood when they leaned down to grab her arms. "Alright, I'm up."

"Great!" Kari bounced in place. "Follow me. On the way there, I want to hear all about this situation of yours. This would make a great fanfic, you know!"

"Yeah, but who'd believe it?"

* * *

By the time they got to the mall's first floor, Casey had hardly covered her first meeting with the Decepticons. She found it strange that they had come into her life only two weeks ago, but for some reason it felt like much longer than that. Following the train of thought, Casey realized that the Decepticons weren't as bad now as they had been when she met them. If not for their true origins, they would have been like five normal people. Of course, they weren't normal, by any stretch of the imagination. If they had been, there would have been no reason for them to be with her in the first place. But did that mean that these Decepticons— Transformers from another planet— were just like regular people from Earth? Casey mulled over the idea, watching Rumble and Frenzy tease Bryan by stealing his camera. Yes. They were. Take away the need for war (and their ability to transform) and the Decepticons were just like everybody else, in a way. She found the idea comforting.

It made dealing with them more manageable when she thought of it that way. They _had_ caused her a great deal of stress during these past two weeks. Some of it was because of personality issues with Megatron, but most of the stress came from taking care of robots who simply didn't know enough things about being human. But they had learned quickly enough. Now it was just a matter of interacting with them on a daily basis. They were active, ambitious people to begin with. Well, most of them. Soundwave was always the exception since he seemed content most of the time. A question came to her: Would she have been better off without them? Casey surprised herself by tossing the thought aside. Considering that was not an option. Despite all the trouble, she wouldn't trade these experiences for the world. They'd certainly made her life more interesting, at least. Kari was of the same mind.

"If you ask me, you needed some excitement in your life. You never do anything fun."

"I'm a working college student. There isn't time for fun."

"Nonsense! Look at us now. Isn't this fun?"

"I guess. Aren't you going to tell me where we're going yet?"

"Nope! Close your eyes. We'll lead you the rest of the way."

"Kari…"

"I could carry her for you." volunteered Frenzy. "Backwards. So she can't see ahead."

Casey's mouth opened in protest. She ran behind Bryan to hide when Frenzy took a step toward her. The twins chuckled mischievously. She huffed, shut her eyes and held onto Bryan's arm.

"Fine. Just don't let me run into any garbage cans."

A few minutes later Casey heard Rumble (or maybe it was Frenzy) say, "Hey, we've been here before."

"Shhh!" Kari took Casey's hand, pulled her forward, and positioned her friend just the way she wanted. "Okay, you can open them now. We're going to help you make one."

Casey did so and gasped. She read the Build-a-Bear Workshop sign over five times before she started squeaking in glee. "Really? I can have one?" Her squeaking stopped. "Won't it be expensive? I made one once and it cost—"

"I don't care. I'm buying." Kari shoved her through the entrance. "You're going to have some fun and forget about everything for awhile."

Luckily it was that time of day when the waiting line wasn't very long. The twins lifted their sunglasses and perched them on top of their heads. They examined the store's displays and brightly colored walls. It was kind of odd that Starflight would like this place if she was an undercover Decepticon agent. But then, she was a femme.

"So… What's this place for?" Rumble asked.

Casey squirmed with impatience. "You make your own stuffed toy here. You pick which one you want, get it stuffed, dressed up, and bring it home."

"There's sound effects too," Bryan said, pointing out the red and blue display full of little cupboards with numbers on them.

"Yeah, but I prefer toys that don't talk to me."

The line moved closer to the toy bins. A little girl in front of them eagerly chose a white and brown puppy. She told her mother that the puppy's name was Daisy, and that she was going to be a ballerina.

Frenzy made a face. If this made Starflight happy, he'd go along with it. "Which one do you want, Star?"

"Um…" She moved from bin to bin, scrutinizing each toy that sat on a pedestal above its matching bin. She liked the puppy, but its proportions were awkward. The leopard was the wrong shade of yellow-brown, now that she saw it up close. The husky was cute, but its head was cocked at an odd angle. The frog was… too green and weird. She went back and forth, trying to decide. Frenzy noticed she lingered over one bin in particular. He pulled out a limp form of a black teddy bear.

"What about this one? You like bears, right? You have a hundred in your room."

Casey frowned. "And how would you know that?"

"Uh… your bedroom door was open once."

"Funny, because I always keep it shut." Casey ran her fingers over the black bear's velvety nose. His eyes were spaced perfectly apart and he had a nice smile on his brown muzzle. She took the floppy toy from Frenzy and hugged it. "I'll pick this one."

He puffed up and smiled as if he had given her the universe's greatest gift. Rumble just sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Hey Elwood?"

"Uh, yeah?" He blinked at Casey. She pointed to a basket attached to the machine that put the fluff into the toys. The basket held small hearts inside colored in red, pink, or red-and-white checkers. White fluff rolled over and over inside the machine like a miniature cyclone made of cotton candy.

"Want to pick out a heart for my bear? It's supposed to make it more special."

"Sure." He approached the basket and paused, trying to decide which one to take. He didn't think it really mattered until a flash of inspiration hit him. He came back with a red heart.

"Like the color of Decepticon optics." He said.

"How fitting!" Casey giggled when he gave it to her. She let out a contented, squeaky sigh.

"Are you going to dress him up too?" asked Bryan as he took another picture. He checked his camera's digital display and whistled. His memory chip had space for only a few more pictures.

"I don't know. I always thought it was kind of silly."

"So you'd rather leave him naked?"

She blushed. "No! Kari, be careful. There are children here."

"Aw, come on. How many of your toys are dressed up?"

"My Paddington Bear is. I'll decide after this one is stuffed, okay?"

The young woman sitting beside the stuffing machine waved to Casey. "Your turn."

"Here you go." She gave up the bear reluctantly.

"Did you pick out a heart?"

"Oh, here. My friend did."

"I know you might be a little too old for this, but I have to ask: Did you make a wish on it yet?"

Casey turned the heart over in her palm. She glanced back at her friends, two of whom weren't supposed to be human. _I wish for a good friend, like the ones I have now._ She slipped the heart through the hole in the bear's back. The worker shoved the toy onto a short pipe and rhythmically pushed down on a pedal. The machine hummed pleasantly. Tufts of white stuffing material floated through the air around the toy. The bear's limp body sprang to life as its limbs puffed up and took shape.

"Is that enough? Check him for huggability."

She obediently hugged the bear. She felt like she was eight years old again, when this sort of thing was important. "A little more, please. So he gives firm hugs."

"No problem." A few more pushes on the foot pedal and the bear was done. The woman put it facedown on her knee. She pulled the strings taught on its back, sealing up the hole. She snipped off the loose strings. "There you go! Have fun."

Casey took back the bear and held it up with some reverence. "Thank you." She hitched the bear onto her hip and carried it to the other half of the store where all the toy-sized clothes were. Bryan, Kari and the twins were waiting for her.

"He's so cute!" Kari tweaked the bear's ear.

"Do all toys have to be cute?"asked Rumble.

Casey pouted, rubbing her nose against the bear's. "He doesn't _have_ to be… Maybe we can pick out clothes for him to make him a tough guy."

Bryan laughed. "You want a bad-ass teddy bear?"

"That'd be the best kind!" Casey began hunting through the clothes. They were grouped according to occupation: A policeman, doctor, and ballerina were there, among others.

"Here we go. He'll need a Harley jacket." Bryan found one two rows over from the policeman outfit.

"And boots!" Kari wiggled the pair of rubbery-plastic toy boots so they would clack together.

"Pants are important too." Frenzy found a pair and brought them to Casey. "Like we learned at Wal*Mart."

"Oh, don't remind me…"

It took some work to dress up the bear properly. It had no trouble staying still, but it seemed to protest the idea of wearing pants and boots anyway. The last thing to do was give the toy a name. Casey couldn't think of one, so she settled for the simple name of Mr. Bear. Her friends chided her for lacking originality, but she didn't care. On the way out of the store she wouldn't put Mr. Bear into one of the cute box-shaped houses to bring him home; she insisted on carrying him.

"Friends don't put friends in cardboard boxes." She said defiantly.

And she had to admit that Kari's scheme had worked— her spirits were lifted and she hadn't thought about her task of caring for Decepticons for a whole hour. She squeezed Mr. Bear and nuzzled her face into his soft black fur. He was worth it.

"I'm thirsty." announced Frenzy.

"Me too." said Rumble.

Rather than complaining about their constant appetite like usual, Casey agreed. "Me three."

"Oh, I know." Bryan knew one way to please Casey. "I'll get you guys Icees. My treat."

Her eyes grew round. "You will?"

"What's an Icee?" the twins asked in one voice.

"Only the bestest, most awesome thing ever! I saw some up at the food courts. Let's go!" Setting Mr. Bear on her shoulders, Casey bounded for the nearest escalator.

"There! She's acting like herself again." said Kari with satisfaction.

Once at the North food court again, Bryan insisted that Casey sit and wait for him to bring her the frozen treats. Not to be outdone, Frenzy refused to wait until Bryan got back too. Bryan thought better of arguing when the Cassetticons cracked their knuckles at the same time. They had a scary habit of being in sync like that.

"I want a blue one!" Casey called after them. She bounced Mr. Bear on her knee. Rumble lost count of how many times the toy bobbed up and down.

"So… howcome the stuffed toy makes you happy?"

"I dunno. It just does. I like cuddly things."

"Why?"

Casey suddenly realized he was studying her through his sunglasses, much like Soundwave tended to do. Her knee stopped bouncing. She started to say something when Kari interrupted.

"She just does. There's nothing complicated about it."

She closed her mouth and nodded in agreement. He shifted his weight, leaning his chin into his cupped hand. The movement sent a flash of light streaking over his sunglasses. Casey couldn't see his eyes anymore, but felt the gaze intensify.

"Mm-hmm," was all he said in reply.

She wiggled nervously, glancing between him and her teddy bear. Did he know?

Frenzy appeared out of nowhere carrying two Icee drinks. "We're back! I got a blue one too, Baby!"

Rumble flinched and sighed. Bryan sat down next to him.

"I thought red would be a good flavor for you," he said, sliding a tall cup in front of the Cassetticon. "Kari, here's your disgusting Cola-flavored one."

"Yay!" She took a long sip from the straw, then jolted out of her seat. "Eeep!"

"What's your malfunction?" asked Casey. She savored a long drink from her blue raspberry treat.

"Just my phone on vibrate. Oh, it's Stephan! Hel-looo," Kari's face broke into a huge grin. "You are? Great! Where do you want to—? Ah, okay. Yeah, we're upstairs too. We'll be on our way in a few. Byes!" She snapped her cell phone shut. "Stephan's done shopping with the guys. They want to meet us by the Rotunda."

Casey's cheerful mood vanished faster than her beloved Icee. "Oh, joy."

"Now don't you get all gloomy!" Kari shook her finger at her. "It'll be exciting! I'll get to talk to Starscream…"

"Oh, we can show Dad our candle, Bro."

"Yeah. We'd better finish our drinks."

The twins each took a big gulp of the flavored ice slush and swallowed. They stiffened. Instantly they grabbed their heads, groaning in pain.

"Oooowww!"

"What's wrong?" asked Bryan.

"My head!"

"It's gunna explode!"

"Too c-cold!"

"I'm gunna die!"

Casey snorted into her straw. "You drank it too fast and got too much ice. It's just brain-freeze. It'll pass."

"Ow ow ow ow…"

"This is like an energon overcharge!"

"All in my head!"

Moments later the brain-freeze did pass, much to their relief. They took much smaller drinks now. Kari drained the last of her Icee and tossed her cup in the garbage. She got up and pranced behind the others impatiently.

"Come on, come on! I wanna see Starscream!"

Casey finished her drink too. "You've seen him before."

"This is different! I know who he is now!"

"Just don't scare him with your fangirlling, okay?"

"I can't promise anything!"

Frenzy peered into his cup and grinned evilly. Unlike he others, he left his drink unfinished.

* * *

Stephan's bright red hat made him easy to pick out in the crowd. He stood against the railing on the far side of the Rotunda, looking out into the theme park. A pile of shopping bags sat beside him. Two very well dressed men— Decepticons— leaned on the railing as well. As Casey approached them, she rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things. Bryan let out a low whistle. The twins dashed ahead. Kari walked three more steps, then, unable to contain herself, she ran. Casey shook her head and proceeded to take her time.

"Dad! Dad!"

Soundwave stirred to life and tipped up his brand new cowboy hat. A flicker of a smile crossed his face. He hardly had time to do much else before Rumble and Frenzy thumped into him with Cassetticon-sized hugs. He allowed them a few moments of contact before peeling them off.

"I trust you have caused no trouble."

"Of course not!"

"You know us!"

"Affirmative. That is the reason for my query."

"Hey, you gotta see what we got!" said Rumble. He pulled out the candle he and his brother bought. "It smells real good."

An eyebrow lifted above Soundwave's sunglasses. He bent down to smell the candle. It did smell good. He'd have to ask the boys why they'd bought the candle later. Surely that wasn't the _only_ reason. They backed up so they could get a good look at their makeshift father.

"You look good, Dad."

"Yeah, like one of those cowboys from TV."

In fact, Soundwave did look like a cowboy, or more accurately, a professional rancher. In addition to his grey-brown cowboy hat, he wore dark brown cowboy boots, denim jeans and a navy blue button-up dress shirt. His new belt buckle sparkled. Somehow his sunglasses still went with the outfit, though.

"Like it?" Stephan slid up beside them, grinning. "He was the hardest one to find a wardrobe for. I was at a loss until he mentioned he worked at a night club that has country music twice a week. It works for him in that rugged sort of way."

"Wardrobe?" Frenzy scratched his head.

"Of course! The best thing to shop for!"

The twins frowned, confused. Soundwave shrugged.

"I was not going to protest."

"Good thing you didn't." Frenzy sloshed the remainder of his Icee around in its cup. "Hey Screamer, I've got something for you."

"What is it, pipsqueak?"

Frenzy handed him the drink. "It's real good stuff. Have a taste. But be sure you take a big mouthful."

"Does it taste like energon?"

"Just like it. Better, even."

Starscream snagged the cup and swirled the blue ice slush twice. "It's the wrong color. But whatever." He did as Frenzy suggested.

And had a massive case of brain-freeze a moment later.

"OwowOW! What did you do to me? My head! My head!"

"Gotcha!" Frenzy shouted. He and Rumble laughed together like demons. Starscream's pained screeches took a sharp edge.

"It's going to kill me! Ow ow OW!"

"No it's not, ya big baby."

Starscream's head began to thaw out. He squeezed his eyes shut and was able to see clearly when he opened them. His hands balled up into fists.

"Why you little cretins—" His attempt to pursue them was cut short when he bumped into Soundwave. The larger man folded his arms.

"Revenge is not advised."

"Out of the way you lump!"

Kari suddenly screeched to a halt in front of Starscream. She appeared so fast it actually startled him. She stood on tiptoe, staring up at him with watery, adoring eyes. If he squinted hard enough he could sort of see pink and yellow sparkles orbiting above her head. He ran his fingers through his black hair in an effort to regain composure.

"Can I help you?" He finally asked.

Her answer just about knocked him over the railing. "OHMYGOD it IS you!"

"Yes… who else would I b— OOOF!"

He squawked in alarm. The next thing he knew he had a fangirl attached to his middle. She squeezed hard enough to make it difficult for him to breathe.

"OhmyGod ohmyGOD EEE! You're real! And so awesome!" Kari pulled back a fraction. "You do sortta sound like a girl, though."

"What? Release me! You are wrinkling my new clothes!"

Soundwave was about to help remove Kari from Starscream's person when Casey arrived with Bryan.

"It's okay, guys. She just knows who you really are."

"Who they… really are?" repeated Stephan.

"I'm sure Kari will tell you later."

Starscream pushed her away as roughly as he dared. "The last time I saw you you wished to kill one of us for upsetting Casey. Explain yourself."

The cloud of sparkles intensified and nearly choked him. He looked down into a face that held only pure adoration.

"I would never, never hurt you! You're the Air Commander!"

"Oh?" Starscream blinked, and his disposition changed as understanding dawned on him. He straightened his tight red button-up shirt and smirked. "I see. You're a… fan." The smirk literally shined.

Kari's squeal could have overloaded a Transformer's audios. "You're sooooo cool!"

Casey picked white fuzz off the top of Mr. Bear's head. _That's right,_ she thought, _go ahead and inflate his ego. Like he NEEDS it…_

"Yes, I am. I'm glad someone recognizes my greatness. Do you like my new outfit?"

She had to be honest. Even though Casey didn't like pretty guys, he did look good. He looked like he had just walked out of an Abercrombie & Fitch clothing commercial. Judging by the brand names on some of the bags nearby, that's exactly where they had gone. His entire outfit probably cost more than one of Casey's paychecks. Stephan's disposable income was nothing to sneeze at. He'd kept his black flight jacket and boots, which gave him some sort of a relaxed military look.

"You look wonderful!" said Kari, somewhat predictably.

Bryan's camera clicked and flashed. "So… Am I the only one wondering where Michael is?"

Casey immediately felt a chill. "He's not standing behind me, is he?"

"Negative." Soundwave's head tilted a little to the left. "But he is coming."

She squeezed Mr. Bear and turned around. Like usual his silver head appeared first, but a strange phenomenon came with it. The crowd in the way of the Decepticon leader's path parted by a few feet on either side. He strode forward without needing to swagger. Except for a white sleeveless top, black defined his new outfit: A leather jacket fit snugly over his shoulders and covered the waist of his tight jeans. His gloved hands were tucked into his pockets or threaded through his belt loops. Casey could already hear the clomping of boots that had the biggest buckles she'd ever seen. And he was _grinning_. That was the worst part. But he wasn't grinning for the hell of it. The man had a bad-ass vibe that could knock over somebody's grandmother.

"Close your mouth, dear." Whispered Kari. "You look like a fish."

Casey snapped her mouth shut and looked away. Starscream hailed him.

"Mighty impressive, Leader. Having fun scaring the other shoppers?"

"A little bit, perhaps." The clomping of boots stopped behind Casey.

"Damn." Bryan nodded in appreciation. "Only you or a biker gang could pull this off so well."

"You think so? I find it very appropriate for one of my origins. Casey, why not face me? It's not like you to be shy."

"I'm not," she mumbled, hugging Mr. Bear face-first against her chest. Kari leaned in.

"Are you blushing?"

"NO!"

"What have you got there?" asked Megatron.

Stephan also leaned in. His lip-to-ear chain jingled when he straightened up and laughed. "How exciting! Twins!"

"Huh?" said Rumble and Frenzy.

"Not you two. Oh, that reminds me." Stephan dug around in one of the shopping bags and revealed two matching black hats. "For the real Blues Brothers. Walker insisted we find some."

Soundwave took the hats and put them on the boys' heads. They bounced in place, then took a serious pose, like they were sitting in a car.

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."

"Hit it!"

They dissolved into giggles. Casey heard the sound of stretching leather.

"What are you hiding?" asked Megatron, definitely curious this time.

She glanced over her shoulder. He had his hands on his hips and that stupid, infuriating smirk again.

"Alright, fine!" Casey turned around and held out Mr. Bear. "See?"

His black eyebrows furrowed. So it was a stuffed toy? Why was she so… he took a look at himself and realization struck. He looked exactly like her teddy bear. Everyone else stared at the toy, then at Megatron. Starscream clamped a hand over his mouth. Laughter leaked out anyway. Kari clasped her hands together and sparkles flew again.

"You really _do_ have your Mr. Bear!"

"Aww!" said Stephan.

Casey's face became bright red. "Ew no! This is just a really unfortunate coincidence!"

"Is it really?"

"The author of my life story must have a sick sense of humor, I swear."

"Are you suuuure?" Kari nudged her.

"Absolutely. Put your fangirl sparkles away."

"Hey, I want to do some group pictures." said Bryan.

"YAY!" Instantly Kari was attached to Starscream again. This time he didn't panic, and rewarded her with a hug.

"Eee! I could die happy right now."

"You too, Casey. Maybe you ought to stand by Walker and his boys."

"Stand closest to me, Baby!"

She glanced at Megatron and shuffled to Frenzy's side. "Anything to avoid the alternative…"

Bryan took a few pictures. He lowered his camera. "Stephan, could you step out of the shot now? Kari, if you could let go of Maverick for a minute, I think Casey deserves one with the guys by herself."

"Awww…"

"No problem!"

When they left the group, there was a hole where Stephan had been standing.

"Scootch together, guys."

Casey didn't move. That meant standing next to Megatron. Bryan chuckled.

"He doesn't bite."

"He might. You don't know that."

"You don't know that either. Now scootch."

Megatron solved the problem by moving instead. He and Starscream watched her squirm.

"Now now, if you keep moving the picture will blur." He put a hand on her shoulder.

Stephan scratched at his hat. "Why does she look so terrified?"

"I'll explain later." said Kari. "Casey, smile! Show us Mr. Bear!"

"Okay then. Everybody look awesome and say 'Transform!'"

The camera's flash went off. Casey ducked away from Megatron and hid behind Bryan. He backed up a step and nearly fell over her.

"Whoa. How'd you get over here so fast?"

"Could it be that you like him?" asked Stephan with a mischievous grin.

"Ew, no! He's my uncle!"

"Oh. Nevermind, then."

"Aw, c'mon Casey…" Kari seemed to have picked up Starscream's brand of evil smirk.

"No. I don't like him."

"She likes _me!_" Frenzy squeezed her nice and tight. "Isn't that right?"

"Let go, dammit!"

"Love you too Baby!"

"I dunno…"

Casey wedged Mr. Bear between herself and Frenzy. She pried the Cassetticon off with the powers of Fluff and Desperation. "Would you drop it already? Besides, he's old."

"I beg your pardon?" Megatron suddenly towered over her. "I am not old!"

"Yes you are. We've had this conversation before."

"By Cybertronian standards I'm—"

"If you say 'in your prime' I'll laugh at you."

"My age is irrelevant. I am the most powerful Decepticon there is. No one can best me in anything."

"Oh, please. It's not the size of the engine, it's how well it runs."

For a moment all sound vanished. Casey glanced around to her friends and the other Decepticons. Everyone, including Soundwave, had their mouths hanging open. She hitched her teddy bear onto her hip.

"Well, it's true. I'm not so easily impressed, and it's mostly talk anyway."

Frenzy ran and hid behind his father and brother. "It was nice knowin' ya, Star."

Sound returned to Casey's ears. She swore she heard thunder rumbling along with normal mall noises. Leather moved behind her.

"Is that so?" growled Megatron.

Lightning struck. Or maybe that was Bryan's camera going off again. But it couldn't have been, because he was frantically pointing. A thick arm wrapped around her waist and lifted her off the ground.

"What the—!"

"Decepticons, we are finished with shopping. We're going home. Bring the bags. I have mine."

Megatron not-so-gently slung Casey over his shoulder. She squealed and dropped her teddy bear. She saw the ground moving from several feet up.

"Oh my GOD!" she screeched. "Put me down! Put me down right NOW!"

Kari stuffed the toy into one of the shopping bags Soundwave had picked up. Casey couldn't see her wave, but she did anyway.

"Bye! Have fun with your Mr. Bear!"

Somewhere from her right, Starscream cackled. "If she lives long enough…"

"MegaTRON!" She pounded on his back. "You put me down RIGHT NOW you lousy bucket of bolts! NOW! This is humiliating!"

The beating didn't bother him at all. Her screaming hurt his ears a bit, but he was used to screeching from Starscream. He adjusted her on his shoulder so her weight was more comfortably sitting there. "Exactly the point, my dear." He patted her round little behind.

"Oh my G— you did NOT just— Bryan! DO something!"

He was having trouble keeping up with the Decepticons. "I would, but I'm outnumbered."

Several stores away, a mall security guard heard a woman yelling obscenities at the top of her voice. He hurried to the main walkway and spotted a silver-haired man carrying a young woman on his shoulder. He'd pinned her legs down so she couldn't kick him again.

"Sir? Ah, Sir!"

* * *

Bryan didn't want to leave her once they'd reached Casey's apartment, but the Decepticons had thwarted his every excuse. Frenzy hadn't been too happy about the way they'd left the Mall, though, so he would probably protect her. One of these days Casey was going to have to think before she spoke aloud. Bryan started down the stairs when he remembered something.

He knocked on Casey's door, number 348, and hastily stepped back when Megatron opened the door.

"My Optimus Prime helmet." He blurted. "I forgot it on the fridge."

Megatron smiled. "Ah yes. I'll get it for you."

Bryan waited nervously until he came back. He held out his hands to accept the helmet. Megatron jerked it back and smashed his fist through it. The plastic shattered and collapsed. A few pieces of blue plastic fell on the floor. Megatron handed him the remains.

"There you are. Have a nice day." He said, and slammed the door in Bryan's face.

--

_Wow, chapter 7 is finally done, OMG. There was a lot more I wanted to put into this chapter but I had to cut a lot out to keep the story moving. Maybe I'll revisit the Mall of America some other time. Until then, see you in chapter 8!_


	11. Chapter 8

Lesson in Living

Chapter 8

By Starath

_Author's Note:_ _Yay, it's a nice short chapter for once, much to my relief. Now we start getting into the more serious stuff. Special thanks to Lesselsnowstar for coming up with the brilliant suggestion for this chapter. Thanks to Crab and Scourge138 for proofreading, and thanks to all you readers for reading this in the first place! As usual, G1 Transformers and all its glory belongs to HASBRO._

Optimus Prime approached TeleTraan-1's console. He stood at ease, with hands clasped behind his back, but he was as alert as ever.

"Anything to report, Ironhide?"

The red mech beside him tapped a few keys. The image on display changed from a view of a city to one looking at a peaceful countryside, following a river.

"In a word, Prime: Nadda. Just like every day for the past three weeks. I don't get it. Since when do Decepticons take vacations?"

"Not all of them do. Although Powerglide's latest sighting was nothing short of odd."

Ironhide shook his head. "Seekers playin' air tennis. Who'da thunk it?"

"Obviously the commanding officers are not present, which concerns me. It's not like Megatron to be inactive for so long."

"You did get 'im pretty good in your last tangle with him."

"True." Optimus idly studied Sky Spy's image of a power plant next to the river. _But not THAT good,_ he mentally added. _Just what are you up to, Megatron?_

"Continue monitoring for Decepticon activity. Let me know if Tracks or Powerglide report anything. For all we know the Decepticons could be setting up something big."

"Yeah, but what, Prime? It's makin' my sensors twitchy with all this waitin' around. Who knows what those miserable Decepti-morons are doin' right _now._ It could be anything!"

"I know Ironhide, I know. Until we can find out what they're doing and where, there is little more to do but wait. We'll be ready for them, no matter how long it takes."

* * *

Frenzy sat forward and rested his chin on his folded arms. The swaying flame of the cinnamon and sugar candle in front of him reflected in his sunglasses.

"It smells sooooo good…."

Rumble wore the same dopey smile his brother had. "Yeah…"

Starscream entered the kitchen carrying a stack of scratch paper, a map and a pencil. He wrinkled his nose. The scent of the candle in the middle of the kitchen table was much too sweet for his taste.

"Move it, you mini miscreants. I need the table."

"No way!"

"We were here first!"

He dropped the paper stack onto the tabletop. The resulting blast of wind made the candle flicker violently. "I require workspace. Take your smelly thing into the living room. Go on, shoo." He started to sit down when he realized that Ravage was occupying the chair. The cat hissed at him. "And take the feline with you."

Grumbling, the twins got up. Frenzy took the candle while Rumble picked up Ravage.

"Good kitty, heh heh. You don't like Screamer, do you?"

The white-pawed black cat meowed and rubbed his head on Rumble's cheek. Starscream made a face. It was true that the cat disliked him, but he took some comfort in knowing that Ravage didn't care for Megatron either. He sat down and selected a piece of paper. After a moment of thought, he went to work.

By the time Casey returned from school Starscream had covered most of the table with paper. Each page had Decepticon script covering it from top to bottom in neat, precisely written lines. He muttered to himself and chewed on the eraser of his pencil without knowing it.

"Hey Screamer." Casey found an apple in the refrigerator and bit into it. She stood behind him, munching loudly. "Whoa. Where were you when I was in my Pre-Calc class?"

"Fighting Autobots, most likely." He sat back. "Have you a computing device? I cannot do everything in my head."

"Yeah, sure." She left and came back with her graphing calculator. The word "Star" was written on its case with multicolored stickers. "It's kinda old, but it can still count."

He opened it and found its 'on' button. Within a minute or two he'd figured out how it worked. Casey sat down next to him and studied the open map of downtown St. Paul beside his elbow. Four dark X marks had been drawn on it. She recognized the Decepticon letters and numbers he'd written out everywhere else, but she'd forgotten which was which anymore. She was more familiar with Maximal script for some reason. She took another bite of her apple. The sound made his shoulders tense.

"So… what are you doing?"

Starscream blew a strand of hair out of his blue eyes. "I am trying to mathematically justify our existence in this world."

She gave him a blank look.

"This," he gestured to his paperwork, "is somewhat like human quantum mechanics, only vastly more superior. And accurate."

"Oh. Math isn't my strong suit."

He fixed her with a curious gaze. On the corner of his latest page he wrote out a long equation. "Does this look familiar to you?"

"Um… no."

He rewrote it using human letters and numbers. "What about now?"

Casey leaned forward. She nodded, but the look of comprehension wasn't in her eyes. "Well, you used delta a few times. It looks like the equation for calculating specific heat transfer, only longer. Why?"

"No reason. I was curious if you knew it." He erased both versions of the equation.

"Are you going to ask for help from Megatron or Soundwave with this? I mean, it looks like quite an undertaking. How do you prove something like crossing realities with math?"

"I was hoping it would be akin to the calculations for time travel, but so far the numbers aren't holding up. And I am more than qualified to do this on my own. I cannot show Megatron until I'm sure of what I have, or he'll just discredit me like usual."

"Time travel?"

"Yes. I've done it, as has Rumble. It's certainly more feasible than crossing realities, yet I've done both. If I can figure out how it happened, then I can understand how to get us back home."

"I still think Primus got bored. Or maybe some higher power."

"What you think is irrelevant. I'm not going to depend on the whims of a god to undo what has been done. Science can explain everything."

She suddenly sneezed and fumbled with her apple. He caught it before it could hit the floor.

"Thanks. Sorry about that." She blew her nose in a tissue and stood up, taking her apple when he gave it to her. "I'm gunna do some homework and maybe take a nap. If Megatron and Soundwave come home before I'm up, tell them to keep it down. Good luck with your calculations."

He smirked. "Still hiding from Megatron? Are you still sore over how we left the Mall?"

He dodged a thrown apple core. It skipped across the tabletop and bounced into the kitchen sink. Casey might have sworn at him too, but she came around the couch in time to see Rumble and Frenzy resting in a drowsy heap.

"You boys really like that candle, huh?"

They sighed together and grinned.

Starscream returned to work and soon found that he was running out of scratch paper. The calculator helped a little, as primitive as it was, but he needed more space to work with. If he pursued it just a little further, he might discover just how the Decepticons came into this world.

Someone knocked on the front door. Another knock came almost immediately afterward, more impatient than the first. He ground his teeth.

"Can't you get that?"

He received no answer. Throwing down his pencil, Starscream stood and went to the front door. The twins were sound asleep on the couch. He blew out the candle. He reached the front door and jerked it open as another round of knocks began.

"What— Oh, hi."

Silvia stood in the hallway. Her sour expression brightened. Her outfit of the day covered more skin than usual, but not by much. It sparkled when she moved.

"Hi Maverick. I came by to ask if you wanted to spend the day with me."

He swallowed. "I would, but I'm in the middle of something and I really shouldn't—"

"But Mavi," she pouted, "I got all dressed up for you. See? Purple." She wiggled her hips. The sparkles raced up from her thighs to her shoulders. "It's a beautiful day out. You shouldn't be spending it in Casey's stuffy— what's that smell?"

"What? Oh. The twins bought a candle the other day when we went shopping."

"And you didn't get _me_ anything?"

"Er… well, no."

"Then, the least you could do is be with me today!" She ran her fingers up the middle of his red shirt. "Please?"

Despite himself, Starscream shivered. Maybe he could take a break from his scientific exploration. For a little while. If he did, could Megatron say he'd spent the day with a lovely female, too? Not at all. He grinned, leaned over and kissed Silvia on the cheek. "Let me get my jacket."

It was indeed a beautiful day outside. The weather felt like it should be June rather than May. Starscream followed Silvia down the sidewalk with his arms tucked behind his head. He stared into the sky and sighed. A few clouds peppered a sky so blue it made his insides ache. A perfect day for flying. Too bad he'd recently traded wings for flesh and blood. He closed his eyes and listened to the breeze that sang quietly in his ears, yet he heard every word. No wings, but the sky still called for him…

"Hey, Maverick?"

Starscream dropped his head and focused on Silvia. "Hmm?"

"Are… you alright?"

"Huh?"

"You looked really sad just now."

"Oh." He put on his most charming smile, the one that made his ice blue eyes twinkle. He'd practiced it in front of the mirror enough times to know that. "I'm fine. I'm out here with you. How can I be sad?"

She frowned at him, then shrugged. "If you don't want to admit it, fine. But if you need to talk…"

_Primus, as if she could understand my longings._ "I was just thinking about, ah, my job."

"Flying jets?"

"Yes." _But I do more than that. Much more._ "You could say it's in my blood."

"I was in a plane once. I flew to Boston by myself. I was scared the entire time. I kept checking to make sure the wing was still there. But you're much braver than me. It must be different for you, huh?"

They came to a crosswalk and stopped to wait for the signal to change. He tilted his head skyward. "It's very different. Say, where are we going, anyway?"

The crosswalk signal changed from orange to green. Silvia giggled and bounced across the street. She hopped up onto the curb and waited for him. "I found out we have an indoor ice rink here in town."

"A what?"

"An ice rink. Inside. You know, to skate on and stuff?"

He just stared at her. She made a rude sound of disbelief. "You've never skated before?"

"Uh… no. Where I hail from there isn't any ice, much less a need to skate." He was surprised to realize he'd told her the truth. Well, one might skate on Cybertron if there were wheels on your feet, but that would look silly.

"Oh my GOD! Seriously?" Her irritation switched gears into glee so fast it amazed him. Humans were such emotional creatures. A split-second later she had his arm and dragged him down the sidewalk. "I'll get to teach you, then! It'll be so much fun!"

Starscream failed to see what was going to be "fun" when they got to the indoor ice rink. For one thing, the environment was too cold for his liking. In front of him, he watched humans skate around on a giant sheet of ice surrounded by clear plastic windows. Some were good at it; others were not. They all wore special footwear that basically reduced the wearer's foot surface area to a long strip no thicker than a Seeker's wingtip. He was now holding a pair of these ridiculous things— ice skates— and an unfamiliar sensation of dread stirred up his stomach.

Silvia had chosen a bench for them to sit on while preparing for this "fun", which meant putting _on_ the ice skates. She was so excited about this whole endeavor that she didn't even get mad at him for having no money to pay for skate rentals. She finished tying up her skates and sat upright. He hadn't moved since she had bent down.

"Hurry up and put your skates on!"

He considered insisting that he'll just watch her skate, but thought better of it. Money had already been spent for this nonsense, and he had no doubt that she could nag worse than a Mommycon if she put her mind to it. Still, there was this small matter of changing footwear. "Could you help me with these?"

"You can start by taking your boots off."

He did so and slipped the skates on. They were very tight. She assured him that they were supposed to be when he complained about it. He looked at the long bootlaces with an expression of foreboding. The truth was he could barely tie his own boots, despite how many times Casey had shown him. Silvia rolled her eyes and grabbed one foot, resting it on her thigh. She tightened the laces until he yelped and double-knotted them. She did the same thing for the other skate. Then she stood, very carefully, and walked to the steps that led to the ice.

"Come on," she said, offering a hand.

Starscream managed to stand and wobble his way over to her. He felt taller because of the skates, but not very steady.

"Grab onto the railing and hang on to me when you step out here. Go nice and easy."

He did as instructed and made it out onto the ice. The surface was slick and offered little friction to resist movement. What human first decided that walking on ice was a good idea, much less a _fun_ idea? Surely some drowned in the early stages of this endeavor. His knees shook with tension as he tried to keep absolutely still. Silvia let go of his hands. From a distant memory, Starscream suddenly remembered what it was like to be an untried and untrained young Seeker.

"Now, you move like this, by gliding. You don't need to push hard to make yourself move. When you stop, you tilt your heel back. Don't tilt on your toes unless you want to perform a face-plant."

Although the term was unfamiliar, he understood what that meant. "I learn best by observation. Could you move about so I can observe how you do it?"

"Sure." She waited for some fellow skaters to pass by before she pushed off and glided away. She moved fluidly, as if she knew where the ice would take her, yet she made it go in the direction she wanted. The scarf she'd borrowed began to flap in the wind she created with each stroke. She moved fast, and then she moved slowly, with a constant back-and-forth stride that propelled her along gracefully. He completely forgot that he should be studying her technique until she tried a jump and twirl. She didn't land properly and fell flat on her backside. She got up, laughing, and skated back to him.

"It's like that, only without the falling part. And you _will_ fall."

"Hmph. I have too much dignity to fall." He folded his arms, but that very gesture upset his balance. He fell and landed hard on his elbows.

"Oh really? Told ya you should have taken the safety pads, but you said no."

"I do not need them." He took her hands so he could stand upright again.

"Do you want me to hold onto you while you practice?"

"No thank you. I'll be fine on my own."

The fourth… or was it the fifth? Sixth? time he landed flat on his back and cracked his head, Starscream was eternally grateful that Megatron wasn't present to witness this foolishness. Or his other fellow Decepticons, for that matter. He'd never hear the end of it from anybody. A few more colossal falls later, he began to think he might have to change his name to Wipeout. He sat up and punched the ice hard enough to bust through it. Even fledgling Seekers didn't crash as horribly— or as often— as this! Silvia didn't know it, but he _was_ the Decepticon Air Commander, and this was just plain embarrassing to his reputation.

Silvia's white skates came into view. She leaned over; offering him a nice view of her bosom, if he'd cared about such things right now.

"Want help up?"

He'd refused every other time, and still she asked. He tried forcing himself up and moved a bunch of muscles that screamed at him. He let loose some curses in Cybertronian out of sheer frustration for his weak human body.

"Whoa… What language was that?"

"Decepticon." He groaned and pushed himself onto his feet. The back of his head throbbed.

"Is that like Klingon? You don't strike me as a sci-fi geek."

"No, it's not like Klingon." Cybertronian dialects sounded more natural. Klingons sounded like they were constantly trying to cough something up.

"Do you want to rest? You've been at it for an hour."

"No, I can do this. I HAVE to do this." His pride was at stake now, slaggit.

She slid in front of him and cupped his face with cool, smooth hands. "You're taking this too seriously. This is supposed to be fun, okay? Besides, you're scaring kids every time you fall down. It sounds like a plane crashing."

He winced at the comparison's accuracy. "Yeah, okay."

She let go and tapped her bottom lip with a glossy finger. "Can you think about this like flying at all?"

He opened his mouth to say that no, this wasn't like flying, because flying hurt less and you used your own carefully controlled jet propulsion. Replace the skates with thrusters and _then_ maybe— wait. In robot mode, his thrusters were in his feet, and they held him off the ground no differently than the skates. Actually, there was a way to hover across the ground when in robot mode, but it was a waste of fuel resources compared to simply walking. Then there was the revealing heat signature to worry about, which easily gave your location away to enemies. And it tended to burn up whatever was underneath you anyway, which usually upset people.

Starscream closed his eyes and focused, remembering what it was like to be in his true body. The knee joints had to be bent, toes in, a little, and push from the heel. He did these things and glided across the ice farther than he had all day.

Silvia laughed and clapped. "Very good, Maverick! Now last a whole five minutes, okay?"

He lasted longer than that, but not by much. It didn't matter, though. When he was up once more he hardly fell again.

* * *

"That was fun!"

Starscream flinched as yet another muscle group announced its existence to him. Just _how many_ muscles did humans have, and how could they STAND the accursed things becoming so sore? He had no trouble walking, but he did so slowly. How Silvia could have enough energy to skip alongside him without showing signs of soreness, he'd never know. He noticed she wasn't bouncing along nearly as much as earlier, though. He had to admit, despite the rough start to the ice skating experience, that it had been, well, fun.

"Agreed. Who was that you waved to when we left?" He asked. The blonde young man had not looked happy when he saw them. He ventured to guess… maybe even jealous? Starscream knew full well what the phrase 'to glare daggers' meant. He'd gotten them from Megatron often enough. _Ah, Megatron,_ he thought with a smile, _have you had such a wondrous and fulfilling day as I have? Made only better by having a female companion by my side who adores me._

"Him? Oh, just a former… friend."

"I see." Ordinarily he might have pursued things further, but his mind was too tired.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"If you wish."

She grabbed a light pole and circled it twice before continuing to follow him. "What are you doing with Casey and those other guys?"

"Uh…" The question instantly jump-started his mind. He thought furiously to come up with a plausible explanation. "We're friends, travelling together. Michael, the old guy with the black eyebrows? He's Casey's uncle. Walker and I are his closest companions. The two boys are Walker's sons."

"Yeah, that's one thing I don't get."

He frowned. Was that not enough to be believable? Had he been too vague, and she knew he was lying? He proceeded carefully. "What do you mean?"

"I work with Walker some nights at _Josie's Night Club._ I see him outside, I mean, when I come in to work at the bar and tables and he keeps the jerks out. I've tried talking to him. That man is a post. Big, dull, and quiet. Hardly says a word to me, much less anyone. Well, he talks more when he gets tired, but he never says anything interesting. He's boring. What woman in her right mind would have kids with _him?_"

He choked and burst out laughing. "That's a good question. Ask him sometime."

She halted in her tracks. "You have the weirdest laugh I've ever heard in my life. Seriously."

"Oh?"

"You sound like a hysterical baby or something."

The comment convinced him to snap his mouth shut until his giggles ceased. He smiled at her. "Just another thing that makes me unique." Suddenly feeling mischievous, he glanced behind them and up ahead. He took her hand and pulled her behind a tree. "Instead of walking home, want to see a magic trick?"

"Are you going to pull a rabbit out of your pants?"

"No."

"Maybe I want to see that rabbit?"

"A creature that size would not make it inside my clothing without my notice, Silvia."

She began to laugh until she realized he was serious. Couldn't the guy catch a clue? "Okay… then what magic trick do you have in mind?"

"You must close your eyes. Do not open them until I say so."

She made a face at him, but did as she was told. Starscream teleported them to the apartment building where she and Casey lived. He stepped forward and opened the glass lobby door for her.

"You may open them."

"Wha— What the?" She blinked owlishly, clearly not believing what she saw. "Maverick, we were still twelve blocks away from here! How did you—?"

"As I said, magic. I am unique." He perked an eyebrow and flashed a brilliant smile. "After you, my lady."

* * *

Starscream whistled a pleasant tune as he walked up to Casey's apartment. He wasn't very good at it, but that was beside the point. He'd have to see if he could whistle once he was in his rightful body again. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Instantly the sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar wafted into his nose. The scent wasn't so irritating now. He pulled off his boots without thinking about it; the movements were habit by now. He closed his eyes and replayed the goodbye kiss he'd gotten a few minutes ago in his mind. Yes, today had been a good day. Now to finish his mathematical calculations. Maybe he could complete them before Meg—

"Ah, the noble voyager returns."

Megatron hailed him from his usual place in the recliner. Starscream jumped a little and quickly recovered. He searched for Soundwave. The large man was not hard to find; he was sitting on the windowsill beside the kitchen. The twins were watching TV on the floor. Starscream lifted his shoulders, ignoring his complaining muscles, and entered the room with a defiant smirk.

"Greetings, leader. Did you and Soundwave have a nice afternoon stroll?"

"Indeed we did. Where have you been?"

"Out." That was all Megatron needed to know. He went into the kitchen, where he'd left all his work earlier. His heart seized in his chest. The paperwork— all of it— was gone. He took in a deep breath and reined in his panic. The sound of shuffling paper in the living room nearly sent it racing uncontrollably. The recliner's springs squeaked.

"This work is good." Megatron approached him from behind and tossed the stack of paper onto the table. The leather of his fingerless gloves stretched noisily. "I can see where you were going with it. Why isn't it completed?"

Starscream straightened the pile. "As I said, I went out. To take a break from this."

"The Cassetticons tell me you left with the human female Silvia."

_Blast those little spies!_ "Yes, that's right."

"Can you explain to me why that fleshling was more important than solving the mystery of why we are here in the first place?"

Megatron's voice had that tone in it that always made Starscream nervous. It was the tone that meant he was in trouble, and it never mattered what he said, because he was going to _stay_ in trouble. His commander was now looking for an excuse to put him in his place and remind him why he was a lower life form. Still, he could soothe Megatron's temper if he was careful.

"She visited earlier and asked that I spend the day with her. I went with her to take a break. I fully intended to continue this. I saw no harm in suspending the project temporarily."

"So that fleshling was more important than fulfilling your duty as a Decepticon scientist?"

"No. It— _she_— is not." He couldn't help what came out next. "And if you haven't noticed, leader, we are fleshlings now too."

"That does not mean you can become attached to one! They are not worth the time or effort. Nor does it mean that you can speak to me so insolently, Starscream."

_To the Pit with subordination!_ "I happen to think she is worth my time, and I warn you not to speak about her in a disapproving manner again. And as for how I speak to _you_, I often speak truth and you believe it to be nothing more than scrap. It is not my fault if you cannot listen to reason!"

Soundwave sighed audibly and tipped down his cowboy hat, shielding his eyes and ears. It wasn't going to be enough.

"Truth? You jest! If I had an energon cube to match every one of your lies after all these stellarcycles, I'd have won the Great War three times now! You say what you think will give you benefit, either through treachery or cowardice."

"E-NOUGH! Once again you discredit me and I will no longer stand for it. My tolerance for you is depleted!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you rather I insult your precious fleshling instead?"

Starscream delivered such a swift punch that Megatron didn't see it coming until it connected with his jaw. He staggered back a step in surprise. He wiped blood away from his lip with his thumb and stared at it.

"You will not disgrace Silvia like you do me, you decrepit pile of slag. You won't listen? You don't find me useful? Fine, I will go where I am wanted!"

Before Megatron could grab him to wring his neck, Starscream vanished from in front of him.

"What— you idiot— Staaaaarscreeeeeam!"

Casey's bedroom door opened. She appeared in the hallway wrapped tightly in a blanket, coughing and obviously freshly awake.

"What's going on out here?" she croaked.

Megatron rubbed his jaw and spat out some blood into the kitchen sink. "Nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing. Geez."

Frenzy got up off the floor to hug her, but he stopped when he saw her up close. Her face was paler than usual and her nose was a funny shade of red. She kept coughing and sniffing.

"Star… you don't look so good."

"I know. I'm sick as a dog." Her voice had a weird, stuffed-up sound to it. "My spring cold came early. I blame stress."

"Are you going to be okay? Do you need a medic?"

"You don't look like a dog." said Rumble. "You just look sick."

Casey stopped coughing long enough to laugh. "It's an expression. And no, I don't need a medic so long as this doesn't get bad. But you boys have to stay away from me, okay? Maybe you all have super extra-powerful robotic immune systems or something, but it'd be for the best if we took precautions so you don't get sick too."

Frenzy backed away slowly. "How long will you be sick?"

"I dunno. It depends. Hopefully it'll only be for a few days. Ah, crap. I have that paper due tomorrow…" She wobbled and fell against the wall. "I have to get that done. And the marketing project…"

"It can wait." Megatron helped her up and turned her around to face her bedroom. "If you are ill then you require rest."

Casey opened her mouth.

"Do not argue with me, Starflight. I am not in the mood."

She closed it and gave him a weak smile. "Okay. If you need ice for your face, there's a cold pack in the freezer. Be sure to wrap it in a towel, though."

"I'll be fine. Go back to recharge."

"Yessir. Thanks."

Megatron closed the door after watching her lie down in her bed. He stared at his angry reflection in the long hallway mirror. He was going to have a bruise where Starscream had struck him. _The fool! Why didn't he EVER listen?_ Now Megatron had one soldier AWOL, the other out with illness. What next?

* * *

Starscream knocked on the door of apartment number 220. The wet things in his eyes stung. He wiped the droplets away a moment before the door opened.

"Maverick?"

"Hi, Silvia. Can… can I stay here with you tonight?"

She blinked and pushed up her left bra strap. She'd changed clothes into something more casual than her usual attire. He didn't know why, but… she looked all the more beautiful to him in this moment. Finally, she smiled and opened the door wide enough for him.

"Sure. Come in."

"I thank you."

"I heard some yelling from upstairs. You look upset. Is everything okay?"

"I would assume so." He came inside.

"Do you know who or what a 'Starscream' is?"

He shrugged, then wished he hadn't when it hurt. "No one of consequence."

* * *

_To be continued in chapter 9!_


	12. Chapter 9

Lesson in Living

Chapter 9

By Starath

_Author's Note:__ This chapter is almost two years in the making, and was one of the hardest things I've had to write for a while. Thanks for your patience, everyone. Also thank you to my wonderful proofreaders: Crab, Lesselsnowstar, Spark and Scourge. I couldn't have done it without you!_

* * *

Casey had to set her phone aside until she finished another coughing fit. She blew her nose loudly and tossed the wet tissue into an already overflowing trashcan. She buried herself into a pile of blankets and retrieved her phone.

"Sorry. You were saying?"

The soft voice belonging to Faye, her classmate, sounded concerned. "No wonder you didn't come to class today. Are you taking good care of yourself?"

"Sort of."

"What about the friends you said were visiting you?"

"They help out. Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Like throwing a watering can on a house fire."

"I see." Casey heard paper moving about. "I have the biggest chunks of our marketing project done. When I come over later I'll bring you some cough medicine and green jello."

"You don't have to."

"Which is why I should. Somebody has to take care of you."

Casey smiled. "Thanks Faye. I'll tell one of the boys to let you in when you get here. I might take a nap before then. It'll probably be Jake or Elwood. Don't let them alarm you when you see them."

"Alright. Get some rest, Casey. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Yeah. Bye for now."

"See ya."

She snapped her cell phone shut and gently tossed it on top of her dresser. The common cold had not been kind to her. Within twelve hours of first feeling sick the illness had knocked her flat in all senses of the word. It was all she could do to stay warm and hydrated. She had no patience for dealing with the Decepticons right now, either. Although Frenzy was eager to help her, she found it was easier to do things herself. The alternative was trying to explain what she wanted done and how, two things she simply did not have the brainpower for right now. To top it off, Starscream had been missing since last night and Megatron was in a terrifically foul mood.

She adjusted her blankets and stood up woozily. She made it to her bedroom door and cracked it open. "Hey Frenzy?"

He immediately came into the hallway. His face creased in a frown. "Yeah Star? Can I get you anything?"

She suppressed a smile. He was so cute when he was worried. "No. My friend Faye is coming over later so we can work on a school project together. Chances are I'll hear the doorbell buzz, but you boys can let her in if she comes and I'm asleep, okay?"

"Sure thing. Are you feeling better yet?"

"Not yet. Still the same."

He shuffled his feet. "When will you be repaired?"

"When my body fights off the germs, Frenzy. It takes time. Try not to worry. I've been sick before."

His shoulders slouched. "Okay…"

"Tell everyone to be nice to Faye when she comes. She's a good person." Casey reconsidered her instructions. "In Megatron's case, tell him he just has to pretend to be nice."

"I heard that," came a growl from the kitchen.

Frenzy caught Casey's wink and giggled along with her. She shut the door and went back to bed.

* * *

Faye pushed the buzzer to room 348 and stepped back. She adjusted the grocery sack in the crook of her arm so it would rest on her chest. At the same time she shifted her weight so her backpack would stay on her shoulder. Sometimes college life really was a literal balancing act.

A young man's voice came through with static on the intercom. "Who's there? Identify yourself."

Faye thought he sounded like a punk wannabe. "It's Faye. I'm here to see Casey."

"Affirmative on that. Come on up."

_Who says 'Affirmative' these days?_ She wondered. As Faye took the stairs to the third floor, she thought about what Casey had told her earlier. Why would she be alarmed when she saw Casey's visitors? She huffed and wished the apartment building had an elevator. Well, whatever the reason, Faye was about to find out. She set down her grocery bag so she could knock on the door.

"I got it, Bro!" said a muffled voice.

The beefy teenager who opened the door looked normal enough. He was wearing sunglasses indoors, though. For all she knew it was a fashion statement.

"Hi." He looked her up and down as if giving her a military inspection. She must have passed because he stepped aside to let her in. "Name's Elwood. My bro Jake is getting Casey for you."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Faye." She bent to retrieve her grocery bag and wobbled when her backpack slid off her shoulder. She half-expected him to offer her help, but he didn't. She replaced her backpack and snatched up the bag.

"What ya got in there?" he asked.

"I got some stuff for Casey since she's sick. Can you put this in the kitchen?"

He nodded. "Oh, sure."

Faye followed him in and deposited her backpack on the couch. An older man with silver hair and black eyebrows watched her from the recliner. She shivered. Something about him made her immediately uneasy. Maybe it was his unusual eye color? No, that was only part of it. Something was unnatural about him. He sat in the recliner as if it were a throne.

"Hi, I'm Faye."

"I heard. I'm her Uncle Mike." He paused as if he had to think about it. "Mike Panzer."

"Oh, I've heard about you, Mr. Panzer. Nice to meet you."

A dark eyebrow perked into an arch. "Good things, I hope?"

"Pretty much." So this was the man Casey complained about the most. Even still, Faye already understood why her friend seemed to admire him, too.

"I woke her up for you." said Elwood as he came out of the hallway. No, wait. He hadn't been wearing a red shirt a moment ago. Faye blinked and cleaned her glasses on her sleeve.

"Weren't you just in a blue shirt?"

"Huh? Oh. Nope. I'm Jake." He pointed behind her, in the kitchen. "You already saw my brother."

She turned around, putting her glasses back on. There _were_ two of them, practically identical. No wonder Casey had warned her. Good thing they were color-coded or this would get confusing.

"And that's our Dad." He pointed to the windowsill.

Faye started with a gasp. How could she miss a man _that_ big sitting there? She politely waved. He tipped his cowboy hat in her direction.

Rumble and Frenzy did their best not to laugh aloud. Clearly they had baffled this new human. One warning glance from Megatron convinced them that laughing was a bad idea.

Casey came out of her room. "Hi, Faye." Her voice was rough from sleep.

"Hey Casey. How are you feeling?"

"Like a Dinobot ran me over, but I've felt worse. I'll hug you in a minute; give me some time to wake up."She shuffled toward the bathroom.

Megatron transferred his attention from Faye to Casey. Her usually perfect hair was in complete disarray. She blinked often, as if she was constantly being surprised by something. She was wearing her fuzzy bunny slippers and mittens. _Mittens?_ He remembered her explaining why she had them on earlier— because she was cold. His frustration for everything wrong in the universe melted a little. Her illness hadn't treated her well, but right now, so sleepy and vulnerable, she looked… adorable. Megatron caught himself smiling. _NO! What are you thinking?_ He scratched the back of his head and exhaled, growling.

"While she wakes up I can make her a treat." Faye went into the kitchen and emptied out the grocery bag.

"A treat?" Frenzy picked up a bag of clementines and turned it upside-down so they would roll around inside. "Will it fix her so the germs go away?"

Fix her? That's one way to put it. "It won't cure her, but it'll taste good and make her feel better."

"Can I help?"

"Sure… Uh, which one are you?"

"I'm Jake."

"Right. I need a big bowl and a measuring cup."

Frenzy found them for her. "By the way, don't sit in the side chair without checking it first. That's Ravage's spot."

Faye had heard about Casey's new cat too. Of course he would have a Transformer-related name. She glanced in the chair. "Hi kitty."

Ravage meowed and hopped onto the tabletop to investigate what was going on. Faye pulled a pot from the drain rack and dumped in several cups of water. She set the pot on the stove.

"So… What're you making?" asked Frenzy.

"Green jello." She ripped open a small box to retrieve the pouch of jello mix.

"What's jello?"

Her mouth dropped open. "You don't know what jello is?"

"Nuh uh."

Faye frowned. Who could have made it through childhood without running into jello at least once? How odd. "It's like pudding, only it's see-through, keeps its shape and wiggles."

What's—" Frenzy received a mental message from Soundwave and stopped short. Instead, he nodded. "Oh yeah. Yeah. That stuff. I forgot."

Faye thought he was a terrible liar but kept the observation to herself.

Casey entered the kitchen, now mostly awake and cleaned up. She and Faye shared a brief hug. Ravage demanded attention by jumping into her arms as soon as she'd stepped away from Faye.

"Ravage! You're not subtle, are you?"

The cat rolled over onto his back and offered his tummy.

"Okay, I'll scratch you, but only for a bit." Casey peered into the pot of boiling water. "Water's done. For jello, you said?"

"Uh huh. I thought you might like some."

"Ah, thanks." Casey set Ravage on the floor. "That's enough. Go see Soun— er, Walker."

He obediently left the kitchen and vaulted into Soundwave's lap. The large man's face cracked with a tiny smile as he scratched between the cat's ears. Ravage pawed at him and licked his hand in return.

"There." Faye finished adding cold water into the jello mixture. She set it in the refrigerator and frowned at the dishes piled on the counter.

"It's not like you to let dishes sit, Casey."

"Yeah, I know. I've been coughing too hard to wash them."

Faye raised her eyebrows. "You have four guys here who are perfectly capable of doing dishes."

A loud cough came from the living room. "As if I would," said Megatron.

Casey sighed. "I don't expect them to."

"Have you asked the others?"

"No."

"Jake?" called Faye.

Frenzy stopped petting Ravage and put the cat back into Soundwave's lap. "Yeah?"

"Could you do the dishes for Casey since she can't today?"

"Uh…" He shifted from one foot to the other, then shrugged. "Sure."

Across the room, Rumble snickered. "Aren't you the good boy for helping out."

"Elwood," said Faye, "Could you help with drying them and putting them away?"

His snickering immediately stopped. "Me?"

"Yes, could you please?"

"What is this? Are you ordering him about?" Megatron set aside his Classics Transformers toy namesake, turning to scowl at Faye. Taken aback by his tone, she shook her head.

"No, not at all. It would be nice to help Casey out, that's all."

"Then why don't _you_ do so?"

"I'm here to work on a school project."

"Then the state of this household is none of your—"

"Uncle Mike!" Casey interrupted. "She's just trying to help me out. Don't make a big deal out of it."

He snorted. So much for her looking vulnerable and cute right now. "I give orders here, no one else."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Casey paused to get through another coughing fit before asking Rumble, "Could you help, please?" She tried not to cringe when Frenzy banged one of the plates in the sink.

Unsure of what to do with himself, he appealed to Megatron. "Boss?"

Megatron waved a hand, disgusted. "Go help before he breaks something."

"Er, right."

Open-mouthed, Faye watched Casey grab her backpack off the couch and silently followed her to her room. Moments after the bedroom door closed, Faye threw her hands up.

"What was that all about?"

Casey went about cleaning up her room so they had space to work on a large poster board. She swept a pile of tissues into a Wal*Mart bag and scattered everything lying on the floor alongside her closet. The delay gave her tired mind time to think. She caught a stack of books before they could fall and shoved them against her desk harder than she needed to.

"Uncle Mike doesn't like it if someone else thinks they're in charge."

"I was just asking the boys to help!"

"I know. That doesn't matter. It's just the way he is. It's one reason why I hadn't bothered to ask in the first place."

Faye started unpacking her backpack. She pulled a hair binder off the poster board and unrolled it. Casey helped her pin it down on the floor with books, a shoe and a teddy bear.

"Just one reason?"

"Getting them to do anything but eat, sleep, or occupy space is like twisting an arm. The twins keep themselves busy with singing in the park and helping out sometimes, but the other three don't."

"Three? There's only two other guys here."

"There's a fifth one. I think he's moved downstairs to get away from Uncle Mike. They had a fight last night."

"Silvia?"

"Silvia."

"That woman goes through guys like I go through socks."

"Yeah, I know. He'll learn." Casey pulled out her class notebook and slid into her desk chair. "I've got our intro, method explanation and focus group data typed up. We have to write out the interpretations of our research and a conclusion yet. Nice job on the pie charts."

"Thanks." Faye laid the colorful charts out on the poster board, estimating where they should go. "So let me get this straight. You've got three grown men living with you plus two teenagers, who take up your time, money and food, and you don't even ask them to help out?"

"I tried when they got here. It's not worth the effort anymore. Uncle Mike doesn't care, and the others follow what he does. Walker shares his income with me though, so that helps."

Faye sat back on her heels and took a good look at Casey. Her friend sat hunched over her computer keyboard, squinting to see the monitor screen through exhausted eyes. Over the course of a few weeks she had become a wilted flower, well on its way to dying.

"No, that doesn't 'help'." Faye got up and straightened the blanket on Casey's shoulders. "Look at you! I've never seen you so run into the ground, even after your Mom died. And you're not telling anyone!"

"Do you want this in 14-point font or 16?"

"I don't care about that right now. You really should be sleeping, or curled up watching silly movies."

"16-point font it is."

"Casey!"

"What?"

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter. We need to get this project done."

Faye pointed at the door. "Those guys are mooching off you. You're going to wear down into nothing soon, and you know that. Why don't you tell them off?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"They need a place to live. I'm it because we're family. It's complicated."

"I don't know about you sometimes, girl." Faye hugged Casey from the side. "You're such a giving person, but this is hurting you."

"Maybe karma will be kind to me."

"Casey…"

"Look, I get what you're saying." She stopped typing long enough to hug back. "But the situation can't be helped. I just have to live with it until they leave."

"I'm not sure I could live with your Uncle Mike. He barks like an old war general. And he plays with your robot toys. Does it run in the family?"

"You could say that. And yeah, I know. You get used to him. It's just because he's old." Casey giggled.

"Did he get discharged from the military or something? Is that why he's here?"

"No, he just thinks he's an evil warlord. He's used to giving orders, not taking them."

"Obviously." Faye finished straightening the long strip of paper that announced their project's title. "Okay, after we finish this, you're going to rest while I see about getting your house cleaned up."

Something shattered in the kitchen. Both young women heard a loud "Oops!" followed by an argument between the twins.

Casey rested her face in her hands, laughing with a wheeze. "Yeah, good luck with that."

* * *

Faye made sure Casey had a bowl of jello before leaving her room. She surveyed the kitchen. Any evidence of broken dishes had been moved into the garbage can. The twins sat at the kitchen table, grumbling to each other. They had fresh cuts on their hands. She retrieved the first aid kit from on top of the refrigerator and passed out some band-aids. Frenzy wrestled them out of the wrappings while Rumble sucked on his thumb.

"Everything's done," Rumble muttered.

"I see that. Thank you." said Faye.

"And we cleaned up the broken stuff," said Frenzy. He successfully peeled apart a band-aid and gave it to his brother.

Faye put the first aid kit back. "Did you sweep everything just in case?"

"Sweep?" asked Frenzy.

"Where do you think we got these injuries from?" snapped Rumble.

"Okay, okay." She pulled the broom out from its hiding place in the corner, alongside the short wall. "Stepping on glass is a hazard, is all."

"So's handling it." Rumble snorted and plastered the last band-aid across his palm. He joined Soundwave at the windowsill and sat down with his back to the wall. Soundwave casually dropped his cowboy hat onto Rumble's head and tweaked his ear.

Faye rummaged under the sink. She found a spray bottle and an old rag. "Jake, would you mind helping with something else?"

Frenzy glanced at Soundwave and Megatron. Neither looked pleased, but said nothing. He finished wrapping a band-aid around his index finger. "What'd ya need?"

She set the cleaning supplies in front of him. "Could you disinfect everything? It'll help prevent everybody else from getting sick too."

He started to ask how, then thought better of it. He laboriously read through the instructions on the spray bottle. "Does 'every horizontal surface' include the cat?"

Faye halted in mid-sweep. "No."

"Ha, ha." he said weakly, "It was a joke. Really."

Rumble just shook his head. It had been an honest question.

While Frenzy busied himself with spritzing and wiping, Faye found errant glass fragments under the kitchen table. She straightened up and took a deep breath.

"Mr. Panzer, may I ask you something?"

Megatron's eyes flew open. She'd caught him dozing off. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Proceed."

"Why are you all here?"

Frenzy paused in his cleaning. Soundwave stiffened and Rumble peeked out from under the cowboy hat. They waited for their leader's reply.

"I'm on military leave."

"All of you?"

"Walker is my Communications Officer. He came with me."

"Why are all four of you staying with Casey? Couldn't you have found a hotel?"

Megatron's patient tone became strained. "The circumstances of our arrival did not make that possible."

"Why not?"

"That does not concern you."

Faye banged the dustbin in the garbage can to empty it. "It doesn't concern me?" she echoed, and threw the broom back into the corner. She marched into the living room with hands on her hips. "Of _course_ it concerns me. You're mooching off my friend."

Megatron frowned, puzzled by the word and Faye's sudden hostility. "Mooching?"

"Freeloading. Exploiting. Leeching. Being a lazy bum while Casey does everything for you—"

"Enough!" Megatron arose from his chair and approached her. He stared her down. "Are you implying that I am mistreating her?"

"You got it, big guy."

"You are misunderstanding the situation."

"How can I 'misunderstand' when I see my best friend so sick, and not one of you has lifted a finger to help care for her or her house?"

At this Megatron froze. "Why should I?"

"She's your niece! Her hospitality and health is shot from taking care of you guys. I don't know how it works in the military, but where I come from, if you don't work, you don't eat."

"No, I mean—" he gritted his teeth in an effort to keep his temper. "Casey is perfectly capable of caring for herself. Our situation cannot be helped."

"You know how to do dishes, don't you?"

He snorted. "As if I would."

"What?" Faye stared at him. "Just _who_ do you think you are? Are you that self-important?"

Unable to help himself, Megatron balled up his fists. "I am Megatron, and I will not be spoken to this way!"

Frenzy slinked alongside Rumble, wringing his cleaning rag in both hands. Soundwave motioned them away from the windowsill so he could stand up. Maybe Faye would have the good sense to stop now.

She didn't even blink. "And I'm Optimus Prime! Nice to meet you! Now that we've got that out of the way—" she poked Megatron in the chest. "I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't matter who you _think_ you are. I see an elder family member neglecting his niece, and he thinks it's perfectly okay. Why aren't you taking care of her? Did the military unhinge you or something?"

Sparks gleamed in Megatron's eyes. "Who are you to judge _me?_ How can I when I don't—"

"Commander." Soundwave interrupted, placing a hand on his shoulder. "This conversation has degraded into argument. Further engagement is not advisable." He fixated Faye with a glare she could feel despite his dark sunglasses. "I suggest you find other chores to perform, or leave."

Megatron shook off Soundwave's grasp and stomped away from them, into the kitchen. He occupied himself with getting a glass of water. Faye watched him with distaste.

"Is he abusive?" she asked Soundwave.

"Negative. Just temperamental."

"I hope that's all, for Casey's sake." She spotted a pile of clothes next to the couch. "When was the last time you did laundry?" She noted his blank look. "You have two teenage boys. _Please_ tell me you know how to do laundry."

Soundwave didn't, but he knew an opportunity when one showed itself. He gestured to his Cassetticons. "Gather all soiled clothing. Operation: Laundromat. You will assist us," he said to Faye.

She sighed. "At least it _sounds_ like you know what you're doing."

Silence settled into Megatron's ears after Faye and the others left. He downed a third glass of water and belched. He held up the glass to contemplate his reflection. Why was he drinking something, anyway? Somehow he'd developed another human habit to add to the list. He heard Casey's bedroom door open. She appeared in the hallway wrapped in a blanket decorated with teddy bears. She coughed and sneezed. She pitched an empty tissue box into the recycling bin.

"Hi," she muttered, her voice hoarse.

"Greetings." Megatron got out of her way as she moved to the cupboard. "Have you recharged decently?"

"I would have, if your yelling hadn't woken me up again."

"Your friend saw it fit to scold me like a sparkling. I disagreed."

Casey found another tissue box and slammed it onto the counter. "So what if she did?"

He briefly examined the ceiling to find inspiration there. What was it with human females today?

"I do not take kindly to being told how to go about my business."

She ripped the box open. "Obviously."

"Do you have something to say to me?" He demanded. "The suspense is killing me."

"Me? Oh no, not at all! Faye said it all for me, and the result was exactly what I knew would happen. Why _should_ you take care of me, Megatron? I don't matter to you."

"I did not say that."

"Like you told Starscream last night, humans aren't worth the time and effort, right? But it's totally acceptable to drain them of their energy and good will!"

Megatron pressed a hand to his forehead. "I was not referring to you—"

"Really? You could have fooled me with that generalization, because guess what, I AM one! I don't have the privilege to be something great like you and not give a damn." Casey stopped long enough to get through a fresh coughing fit. "Just what makes Decepticons so superior anyway, Megatron? Why are you better than humans and can't be bothered to care for one, you _or_ your comrades, despite everything she's given to you?"

His jaw worked, but nothing came out. He snapped his mouth shut and turned away. Behind them both, Starscream watched the exchange. He had teleported in to grab another set of clothes. He recognized Megatron's tense posture and decided to stay. He had to smirk; usually he was the one causing aggravation. It was not as though Megatron didn't deserve this. He momentarily admired Casey, but worried for her too.

When Megatron didn't reply, Casey pushed herself in front of him and supplied her own answer. "Oh, I know. It's because you're all cold. Heartless. Machines. And you're leader of them all, the best of the worst."

A growl rumbled in his chest. The cup he held began to crack.

"Don't like it?" Casey continued, oblivious. "Well that's generalization for you! And another thing—"

"_**Silence!**_" He roared, black fury contorting his face. The glass shattered on the wall. He backed Casey up against the counter. "_You know NOTHING!"_ His fist smashed against the countertop, breaking it. "_I should send you into oblivion!_"

For a moment, Casey saw the real Megatron standing before her. The silver-haired man's silhouette transformed into the square-shouldered, powerful frame that defined Megatron's figure. She stared down the barrel of his lit fusion cannon. Terror grabbed her heart and squeezed until she couldn't breathe. Her hair wafted back from the heat of a coming fusion blast. She swallowed, looking into his face. His optics held no mercy.

"Megatron, stop!" Starscream's voice came from afar. A human replaced the Decepticon tyrant. Casey saw Starscream grab Megatron's arm.

They vanished.

Casey choked. Her knees gave out and she slid to the floor. A piece of countertop broke off and landed next to her, making her jump. She began to cry.

Starscream blinked in the sunlight. He let go of his leader and stepped away. A quick breeze pulled open his flight jacket and tussled his hair. He'd brought them to the roof of the apartment complex. Below, cars honked and rumbled along the streets. Someone in a nearby building spotted the two men and wondered how they got up there.

The abrupt change in location had stopped Megatron in mid-movement. He stood in the pose he took when using his fusion cannon. He grabbed at his forearm, convinced it had just been there. His chest heaved in angry, ragged gasps. He realized Starscream was in front of him instead of Casey. The Air Commander beckoned him with both hands.

"If you have to hit someone, Megatron, hit me. Don't take your anger out on a sick girl."

Megatron's fury ruined his aim; he tried three times before nailing Starscream in the left cheek. The Seeker struck the ground, bounced, and skidded across the gravel roof. He dented an air ventilation pipe when he stopped. His ears rang as he stood up, adjusted his chin, and brushed himself off.

"Been saving that one for awhile, have you?"

Megatron snarled in response. Starscream chuckled. "Usually that makes you feel better."

"The Pit take you, Starscream. I am beyond consolation."

Starscream's amusement faded. He cautiously approached his leader. His shadow merged with Megatron's. Briefly, it had wings. "This isn't like you. You who value control and power, the mightiest of all Decepticons, become fury unleashed from your cannon. What is happening to you?"

"Why should _you_ care all of a sudden?"

"Because, although it chafes me, you are my leader. I am concerned."

"Concern? From you, Starscream?" Megatron harshly laughed. "Truly this world has gone mad, and myself with it."

Starscream shrugged. "We are changing, that much is certain. You're heading for a fall, Megatron. What is bothering you?"

Megatron began pacing, his anger rising again. He kicked at a scrap of metal. It flew into the distance and faded out of sight. Unsatisfied, he looked for something else to destroy.

"That human friend of Starflight's accused me of negligence toward her, saying we abuse her hospitality and resources. What could I say? I couldn't explain the situation! Then she mocked me outright. 'Who do I think you are' indeed! I can only do what I know to do. Starflight does not ask for assistance, so how can I be responsible for not giving it? She can take care of herself, surely, it's not like _I_ know how!"

Starscream folded his arms. "When she has asked for help in the past, we have given it. You do not. It was only a matter of time that she stopped asking. She wants validation from you. We recognize her value to our situation. Do you?"

"Are you saying I brought this upon myself?"

"That, and insulting humans within audio range of the one aiding us does not help your case."

"Decepticons need no one!"

"We need _her._ Humans are not unlike us. They are just as driven, independent, and adaptable. They're just more fragile."

Megatron scoffed. "You say this because you are attached to that Silvia female."

"No, I say this as an observation made by a scientist, seeing as that was my previous vocation. And from what I observe of you, leader, you are being held accountable for things you are oblivious to, and Primus forbid, being yourself. You have a habit of disrespecting your allies." Starscream shrugged again. "But then again, what do _I_ know?"

Megatron's shoulders slumped. He couldn't deny Starscream's words this time. "I cannot help her because she does not let me, and I don't know how in the first place. Then I am reprimanded for it. It makes me feel so…. so…"

"Powerless?"

He turned away.

"Now you know what it feels like. You had better get used to it if you don't learn."

"But I am Megatron! There is nothing I cannot do!"

Starscream threw his hands up in exasperation. "Fine, then be Megatron! Do what you do best: Think you know everything and don't take no for an answer from anybody. See how far that gets you."

Megatron faced him. Starscream braced himself for another punch. To his surprise, Megatron clapped him on the shoulder. The fine lines around his eyes suddenly made him look old and tired, even though he was smiling. "You always tell it as it is, don't you Starscream? You are correct. This time."

"I'll be sure to put that in my data records so I can gloat about it later. Not that anybody would believe me." Starscream smiled back. "Are you ready to go inside?"

Megatron took a deep breath. He shook himself to release the tension in his body. "Yes, I suppose so."

Starscream teleported them back into Casey's living room. They found her sitting at the kitchen table, crying. The Decepticons shared a glance between them. Megatron waved him away. Starscream nodded, gathered his things, and disappeared. Megatron quietly approached the kitchen. A messy pile of tissues made a small mound in the middle of the table. Some of them were stained red.

"Are you injured?" He asked.

His voice startled her. She bolted out of the chair, away from him. Although obscured with tears, Megatron could see a true understanding for who he was mixed with utter fear in her eyes. He should have felt proud of that, or satisfied at least. He didn't. He waited for her to answer. Her string of coughing sobs ended in a hiccup.

"I t-tried cleaning up the cup you th-threw and hurt my h-hand."

Her newest tissue fell away. A cut below her first two fingers immediately welled up with blood. Megatron growled, anger warring with guilt. Casey darted further away when he went to get the first aid kit and turned on the kitchen light. He shooed Ravage off the chair he wanted and sat down. Casey shook her head.

"Oh, no, you don't have to—"

"I will take care of it. Sit."

"No, really—"

"_Sit._"

She sat.

He lowered his voice. "Tell me how."

She swallowed, searching his face. His expression had determination and… something unfamiliar. "Um, get an alcohol swab and dab it on my hand. Some pressure will help stop the bleeding."

The alcohol swab stung when he touched it to the cut. He held it in place firmly when she tried to pull away. She wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said softly.

Megatron tried to think of what to say. He couldn't remember the last time someone said 'sorry' to him and actually meant it. "I accept your apology." He finally said. He set the alcohol swab aside and attempted to open a band-aid wrapper. He swore in frustration. Casey flinched. He dropped it. "It is my turn to apologize. I am apparently not intelligent enough to operate an injury repair package."

Casey weakly giggled and hiccuped. "Peel it apart from the top."

"So _that's_ the secret," he grumbled, and applied the band-aid to the wound. "In the future, Casey, I will give you assistance whether you want it or not. But I would prefer if you told me when you needed it."

She clasped her hands together and shyly met his eyes. "Okay."

Megatron snapped the first aid kit shut. "I suspect Soundwave and the Cassetticons will return with your friend soon. You may want to recharge while you can." He stood up.

"Okay." Casey stood up too. Before he got too far away, she hugged him around the middle. She stayed longer than she intended to, surprised to find he was warm and comfortable. "Thank you."

Caught off-guard by the affectionate gesture, Megatron froze, unsure of what to do. After an awkward moment, he cleared his throat and inspected the kitchen tiles. "I have a reputation to keep, you know."

Casey let go, blushing. "Right. Sorry." She hurried to her room.

* * *

That night, Rumble couldn't sleep. He stared at the pattern the streetlights made along the living room wall, listening to Megatron snore. Beside him, Frenzy had curled up under their shared blanket. Rumble glanced at the empty windowsill. He left his beanbag chair and grabbed his sunglasses from the side table.

He found Soundwave outside _Josie's Night Club_, guarding the entrance from the underage and overly intoxicated. An eyebrow lifted above his sunglasses when he saw Rumble approaching on the sidewalk.

"Reason for late-night excursion?" asked Soundwave.

"Couldn't sleep." Rumble stood next to him and folded his arms, a smaller reflection of his father. Neither said anything more. Fifteen minutes later, a car drove by. Its passengers leaned out the windows and shouted drunken greetings to Soundwave. He tipped his hat to them.

"Star's not one of us, is she?" asked Rumble.

One of the muscles in Soundwave's jaw twitched. "Affirmative."

"Thought so." He sighed, and left it at that.

Rumble followed Soundwave home when the bar closed. He wondered one thing over and over: How was he going to tell this to Frenzy?

* * *

_To be continued…_


	13. Interlude 1

Lesson in Living Interlude

By Starath

_Author's Note:__ Hooray! I'm not dead! Only part of the way dead. I'm a few weeks out from finishing student teaching and graduating from college. Again. I have not forgotten this story! The fact that I had to write this is proof. I own nothing but the characters, who are still very much around, I can assure you._

* * *

"Hey Boss, are you done yet?" whined Frenzy.

The reply from the other side of the bathroom door came back gruff: "I'll be done in a minute!"

Frenzy performed a squirming dance. "You said that twelve astroseconds ago! Duuude! I can't hold it much longer!" He drew out the last word like it had a million letters in it.

From his position in front of the couch, Rumble giggled. Casey threw a wad of tissues at him.

"Don't laugh. This was you yesterday."

"Which is why I gotta laugh now!" the teenaged Cassetticon brushed the tissues off his shoulder. "Did you use these? Eeeeew!"

"No, I didn't use them." Casey rolled her eyes and picked them off the floor before her cat could pounce on the unsuspecting tissues. She coughed and sneezed into them. "_Now _they're used." She added them to the plastic bag on the floor and ripped open a fresh box. Her cold had been ruthless. She had emptied the last box in three days.

Over on the windowsill, Soundwave found it hard to ignore the uncomfortable, somewhat pained emotional frequencies coming off of Frenzy's person. Whatever Megatron was doing in the bathroom had him frustrated, but Frenzy's situation had escalated into an emergency ten minutes ago. He left the windowsill and scared the pigeons he'd been watching outside.

"Commander, time is imperative." Soundwave said, knocking on the bathroom door.

Megatron growled and jerked the door open. "Very well! What is it—"

Frenzy flew by and slammed the door shut so fast Megatron found himself nose-to-nose with Soundwave. The Communications Officer respectfully stepped aside, his expression apologetic behind his dark sunglasses. Immediately, the sound of rushing liquid made the silence awkward.

Megatron coughed. "Oh."

Soundwave returned to his windowsill. Rumble paid more attention to the Darkwing Duck cartoon on TV. Casey snuggled into her blanket covered in teddy bears. Mr. Bear was tucked in next to her. She sniffled and eyed Megatron.

"What were you doing in there? Nothing's changed."

He sat in his chair— by now it was most definitely "his", anyway— and frowned. "I was attempting to… adjust something."

"Like what?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. Casey had noted this particular habit, though she figured it was because Megatron wasn't used to having hair in the first place. He attempted to pull it back, tuck it to the side, fluff it up out of—

"Oh!" Casey sat up. "You can't keep your hair out of your eyes."

"Affirmative." He grumbled.

She giggled and a thought crossed her mind. The Decepticons had been around long enough for Megatron's hair to grow out? Weird. She counted back. Had it been three, four weeks? Maybe five? It felt like several years at this point.

"Howcome?" asked Rumble. He'd seen this episode before anyway. "Starscream's hair is longer than yours and he deals with it fine."

_Starscream's used to being high maintenance,_ thought Casey, though she didn't dare say so aloud even if the Air Commander wasn't present. "His hair is different, and was longer to begin with. It lends to being… um, styled. Megatron's doesn't. When he got here he had it so short it stood up by itself."

"Oh." Rumble stared at the top of Megatron's head thoughtfully. "What's hair made of, Star?"

"Dead… uh, stuff."

"Gross!"

Casey shrugged. "Not really. It helps humans keep warm." She grinned; Megatron was fidgeting under Rumble's curious gaze. She hadn't really noticed it before, but Megatron looked scruffy and… adorable. _Adorable? _Casey swiftly kicked the word out of her mind. Handsome, maybe, but adora… NOPE, she wasn't going to use that word either. Not appealing in the slightest. He was the Decepticon leader. De-cep-ti-con LEAD-ER, not one of her grumpy-looking teddy bears. Wait, what was she talking about?

"You need a haircut." Casey blurted.

"A what?" Megatron asked.

"It's kinda self-explanatory, don't you think?" Sure, she had no idea where the notion came from, but why not roll with it?

Megatron's black eyebrows came together in a knot of aggravation. "Indulge me."

"Uhhhh…." Casey had to think. What on Earth, or Cybertron for that matter, could she compare a haircut to? "It's like…."

"Getting armor trimmed down." Rumble snapped his fingers. "Yeah. It doesn't hurt. It's just for when things don't fit quite right."

The comparison must have made sense because Megatron's aggravated expression gave way to understanding. Casey wondered how Rumble knew that and made a mental note to ask later. She adjusted Mr. Bear so the teddy bear wouldn't fall off the couch when she moved. She stood up and dealt with another coughing fit. She filled another tissue with unpleasantly colored goo and hid it in the plastic bag at her feet.

"Right. So let's get you a haircut."

"Are ya sure you're up for that, Star?" asked Rumble.

"Oh sure. I know just where to go. Let me change clothes really quick."

Frenzy came out of the bathroom in time to see his makeshift father go out the front door.

"C'mon Bro, hurry up! Megatron's getting a haircut!" called Rumble, waving at him.

"A what?" He fumbled with his shoes in the closet.

"And don't forget to wash your hands!" added Casey from her bedroom.

"Aww maaaan!" He stumbled back into the bathroom, tripping over his shoelaces.

* * *

Casey stopped at the door of a tiny barbershop. The front window had "Tom's Barbershop" written in chipped red and blue paint. Beyond the glass, everything inside the shop was yellowed and creased with time. The most up-to-date feature of the shop was the blinking "open" sign in the window. It sat next to an old telephone with a turn-dial and curly cord. Tom the barber, a portly man with a bushy moustache, set his newspaper aside and waved to Casey. She told the Decepticons to wait while she went in to chat. Rumble and Frenzy didn't mind, already occupied with their noses pressed to the window. Soundwave stood guard near the door and a creaking striped barber's pole. Only Megatron seemed agitated, although from experience Soundwave knew that agitation covered nervousness. Finally Casey held the screen door open.

"He's got time, Uncle Mike, come on in!" After he stepped past her, she turned to Tom over her shoulder. "Do you have space for the other three?"

"Oh sure! I'd love the company! Walker, is that you I see in that cowboy hat?"

Casey wasn't surprised that Tom knew Soundwave already. Soundwave herded the twins inside and took his cowboy hat off. He perched it atop a mounted deer's antlers.

"It is. Good to see you."

The Decepticons took a good look at this "Tom" guy. Casey had talked nonstop about him since they'd left the apartment complex. He didn't look like much, but Casey said he'd kept his business running for the last forty years. The small shop felt cramped but somehow homey. Soundwave took a seat in the corner, out of the way. The twins set upon exploring everything. The biggest—and most interesting—feature of the place was the big glass box up against the far wall. You had to squeeze past it to get in the shop, it was so big. Later Rumble and Frenzy asked a hundred questions about the contents of the glass case: A crocodile's head, giant amethyst crystal, dinosaur tooth, ammonite shell, railroad nail, quartz crystals, and several animal skulls, just to name a few. A mounted jackalope's body hung next to a display of men's hairbrushes. Casey's favorite features of the shop were the newspaper articles tacked onto the walls. The biggest page declared the end of World War II and that America had won freedom for all.

Tom had a little difficulty navigating around the barber's chair as Megatron waited to be seated.

"Hmm, a big fellow, aren't you? Pardon me." Tom edged aside Megatron and bumped into his leather-clad shoulder. "Hoo boy, that you are. Michael, is that right? I hear you're Casey's uncle, here for a visit. Good to have you come by my shop, son. Have a seat."

Megatron grimaced and started to protest. Casey coughed politely and used her fingers to pull up her lips in a "Smile!" gesture, and shook her finger at him; the signal for "Be nice or else."

Megatron sank into the peculiar-looking chair and set his heavy boots on the bottom ring. Tom pulled a barber's cover out of nowhere and flapped it once with an expert _crack!_ Megatron examined the playing cards that formed a pattern on the cover. He stiffened when he felt the collar button together.

"There you are! Now, tell me what you want, son, and I'll get right to it!" Tom turned the chair to face a large mirror Megatron hadn't noticed when they came in.

Megatron struggled for words. First of all, this being called "son" was preposterous. He was most likely older than most things on the planet Earth, let alone this odd little human who made his business cutting dead matter off of people's heads. Secondly, everything in this cramped space… it didn't fit the age of everything outside the shop's front door. Megatron had a strange feeling in his stomach, the kind he had when looking at old holofilms of Cybertron. Time obviously didn't stop here, but it seemed… sluggish. As if the dust and sunlight created a vacuum where time couldn't lead its normal pace.

"Well?" Tom prompted.

The front screen door creaked open. "It's not like our _Leader_ to lose his words." Starscream said. He leaned on the doorframe, smirking.

Frenzy's head popped up on the other side of the glass case. "Hey, Screamer!"

"Hi Maverick." Casey smiled while making her finger-shaking signal at him out of Megatron's sight.

"Another one?" Tom chuckled. "I haven't this much company for quite awhile! It's good to be among friends, I always say. Made your mind up yet, son?"

Megatron glared at the Air Commander, his ire automatically rising to Starscream's taunting grin. Confronted by the single most annoying entity he knew (aside from Optimus Prime) and a situation he had no experience with, his temper simmered just below boiling point. He managed to grind out, "I am thinking."

"Hmmm…. Don't bother wasting the effort, Leader, I can think for you. If I may," Starscream added, wilting under Megatron's venomous glare. "Clearly you are too distracted by other things right now."

Megatron blew a piece of hair out of his eyes. "If you must. Just know I trust you about as far as I can throw you."

"Which is quite far, if memory serves me." Starscream laughed a little, circled behind Megatron and gave directions to Tom. "It used to be extremely short. Spiked. Off the back of his neck and out from around the ears. Like a helmet…" he trailed off and giggled to himself. "You needn't do anything fancy; it will take care of itself once it's short enough. He dislikes having his vision or other senses obstructed in any way. Does that sound good, Leader?" Starscream patted Megatron's shoulder.

"It… does." Megatron's eyebrows momentarily became lost under his hair. "How did you…?"

"Please." Starscream sat next to Casey and leaned forward, his chin nestled by two fingers. "You don't think I look this good by accident, do you? I pay attention to more than you give me credit for."

Megatron grunted and rolled his eyes.

Tom looked between both men, clearly confused, until he looked to Casey in askance. She shrugged.

One thing was for sure: Tom liked to talk. He talked about the weather, the economy, deer hunting, what a jackalope was (Rumble had asked), how long he'd been in the business, what it was like to cut hair, among many other things. The constant _snip snip snip_ of his scissors never stopped, much like the conversation. He asked about Casey and school, how long it would be until she graduated, and her future plans. She admitted she didn't have any. Eventually Tom started to ask questions about Uncle Mike and all his friends. Megatron stayed silent, grateful for once that Starscream was a skilled liar.

"You're almost done, son. Though you could loosen up a bit. You're acting like you've never had a haircut before." Tom chuckled under his bushy moustache.

Megatron forced a smile. "It's…. been a while."

"I could tell! Phew!" Tom slipped his scissors into a nearby cup and retrieved the blowdryer. He chased away the stray silver hairs and handed Megatron a small mirror. "There! How'd ya like it?"

Normally Megatron would ignore his reflection. But he took the time to look, and liked what he saw. "Very well done."

"Good!" Tom popped the snap-button collar of the barber's cover and whisked it away without leaving anything behind. "Can't say I've ever seen that hair color before, though. Did it used to be black, and you dyed it?"

Megatron stood and grinned at his reflection in the large mirror. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Casey blush. "I'm afraid not. This was a gift given to me."

Casey caught his gaze in the mirror and hid her face in both hands. Starscream watched the subtle exchange between Casey and Megatron. He giggled.

"Don't ever lose it, then. Gifts are special." Tom pulled out an old spiral-bound notebook and used a worn-out pencil. "Let's see, that'll be twelve dollars and…"

Casey stopped digging in her wallet when Soundwave strode forward and gave Tom a twenty-dollar bill.

"Keep the change." Soundwave said, plucking his cowboy hat off the deer's antlers.

"Walker, I appreciate it, but this is a bit much…"

Soundwave called to the twins. They followed him out and Soundwave cast a rare smile over his shoulder.

Megatron offered his hand for a shake. "Consider it a reward for a job well done."

"Oh, well. If you insist…" Tom took his hand and shook it warmly. "I'm glad to have met you. Take care of Casey. She works hard. You must be proud of such a fine young woman."

Casey blushed again and bolted out the door with a hurried "Bye!"

Starscream caught the screen door before it could slam shut, still giggling.

Megatron watched his Decepticons and their human ally who helped them. She had given them so much… and he was just beginning to see it now.

"I am proud of her."

He gave his final goodbyes and caught up with everyone down the sidewalk. Like the time in that dusty shop, his mind lingered on the past. He had said that statement so easily, but did he mean it?

"Did you mean what you said, Leader?" Somehow Starscream had fallen in line with him without notice. "About having pride in her?"

Megatron ran his fingers through his hair— now short, clean, and lighter than it had felt an hour before. He watched Frenzy chase Casey around a tree. She held him at bay with a long stick until Rumble snuck up behind her and stole it. Frenzy went in for his hug and found himself trapped in a headlock.

"Say uncle!" Casey demanded.

"Neveeeeeer!" cried Frenzy, laughing at the same time.

Megatron smiled. "She holds her own against five Decepticons and has the strength to face life's challenges in addition to that. Is that not worth some pride?"

Starscream tsked. "If I did not know better, I would say you were becoming fond of her."

"And what if I am, Starscream?"

"What will you do when you must leave this world and go back to our own?"

It was not as if he hadn't thought of that. But to hear it voiced by someone else… Megatron's heart briefly ached.

"By then, I hope to have actually shown it."

* * *

_Interlude's End._


End file.
